Chase - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm crass, I'm crude, and I have a very short attention span. I'm sweet, I'm shy, and I have the loudest laugh in town. I want to be in the middle of a bustling city with a never-ending supply of newspapers and magazines. I want public transportation that can take me wherever I need to go. I want 24 hours. ... I want to live on a farm and weed the vegetable garden. I want four pigs, seven goats, five cats, and a donkey. I want a big porch with wooden rocking chairs. I want crackling country music in the background. A big ole Caddy parked in the gravel driveway for when I need to take trips to the Piggly Wiggly. ... I never want to leave the Irish Channel. New Orleans has this grip on me, ya heard.

My Interests

Reading, writing, rock.n.roll, old country music, Coney Island, coney islands, traveling, bass, burlesque, dirt, typewriters, magazines, farms, plants, cowboys, garbage picking, roller skating, good vegetarian cuisine, dancing the night away, thrift stores, drinking when it's light out, snacks, newspapers, blue-collar cities, crosswords, truck stops, the Waffle House, worms, pigs, cats, goats, blatant honesty, bathroom graffiti, the library, vodka and soda, diners, bar bathrooms.

I'd like to meet:

Ramona Quimby. Cats. Hillbillies. Detroit kids. Whiskey-swillin', beer drinkin' fools who know how to dance. Creative humans with a sense of humor. Car mechanics so I can learn to work on hot rods. Bad spellers and people who hate writing so I can provide editorial assistance.

Music:

Bob Seger, The White Stripes, Blind Texas Marlin, The Rolling Stones, The Von Bondies, Shooter Jennings, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams (Sr., Jr. and the Third), Beck, Willie Nelson, Peaches, R.L. Burnside, White Bitch, Primus, The Pixies, Suzi Quatro, Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline, Jerry Lee Lewis, Gal Holiday, Johnny Cash, MC5, Bonnie Raitt, Elvis, The Black Crowes, The Black Keys, Sleater-Kinney, Kings of Leon, Scissor Sisters, Eminem, Country Fried, Moot Davis, Rockets and Cars, Radiohead, The Dirtbombs, The Roulette Sisters, Uncle Leon and the Alibis...

Movies:

American Beauty, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, Edward Scissorhands, Garden State, Girl Interrupted, Gummo.

Television:

You Can't Do That On Television, Small Wonder, Diff'rent Strokes, Six Feet Under, Pee-Wee's Playhouse. I don't watch tv these days.

Books:

Charles Bukowski, Chuck Palahniuk, David Sedaris, Hunter S. Thompson, John Fante, Chuck Klosterman, Jeffrey Eugenides, Nick Hornby. Speed by Stewart O'Nan. Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins. A Million Little Pieces and My Friend Leonard by James Frey. Found - the book - by Davy Rothbart, Cruising Paradise by Sam Shepard. The Donkey Show by Michael Patrick Welsh, Geek Love by Katherine Dunn...

Heroes:

Hunter S., Bukowski, all the Rosie the Riveters, Dumas Carter, my moo moo.

My Blog

summertime.

There's a car going the wrong way down my one-way street. My neighbor (the one I never acknowledge because he said "Hey, big titties" when I first moved in here and I told him to fuck off and now...
Posted by Chase on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 11:43:00 PST

I tell you what...

You want to know what's fabulous? Crossing the street at Washington and Magazine and there's an empty can of Faygo pop, rolling along in the wind. Is Vernor's next? Hellooo, Michigan! You know what el...
Posted by Chase on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:13:00 PST

Roll Me Away.

11.25.06The scene: Me in a personalized "I love Bob Seger" tee shirt, which transformed me into Boob Seger as the tightness, red sparkly letters, and leers from the Baby Boomer men took over in the ar...
Posted by Chase on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 09:29:00 PST

Can my life get any better?

If you want some mopey sad tales then skip over this one, cause it's all good times here, baby. This summer was very, very rough for me. Dark hole, if you will. But then I came back to the Dirty South...
Posted by Chase on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 03:10:00 PST

Marriage is for Quitters.

Before ya'll get too carried away with the Relationship Sealers talk and feel the need to gush and gloat about why your lover is number one, let's keep in the back of our pretty, floating heads that n...
Posted by Chase on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 04:33:00 PST

Part two. Relationship Sealers.

Hello kids. Let's refresh, it's been a while. Deal Breakers: certain things a human does that can immediately make a relationship a no-go, no matter how fabulous you thought this character was at one ...
Posted by Chase on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:36:00 PST

Coming soon...

1. I lost my phone. Don't try calling me. 2. Coming very soon - the follow-up to the relationship chronicles. As you remember, the last episode covered "Relationship Deal Breakers." This time around,...
Posted by Chase on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 01:33:00 PST

Tales of sauce.

I don't remember exactly how I met him. Some seedy bar downtown, I am sure. I remember us leaned against a pool table, him moving closer to me."I'm in a band," he told me.I never asked the name of the...
Posted by Chase on Fri, 12 May 2006 11:31:00 PST

Why I have no time for Easter in my life...

Flashback to 1982: Easter morning. My fat baby ass hanging out next to a pink and yellow plastic Easter basket filled to the brim with jellybeans, peeps, foil-wrapped chocolates, maybe even a bunny. P...
Posted by Chase on Sat, 15 Apr 2006 01:54:00 PST

Grey skies are gonna clear up...

I need to let ya'll in on something before I can even start this story. I was a very strange child. Don't get me wrong, I am still very strange, and you know this. But I have learned to quie...
Posted by Chase on Wed, 12 Oct 2005 04:55:00 PST