Ossi

Hello, my name is Ossippee, but everyone calls me Ossi. I was bred at Old MacDonald's Farm in Maine (no joke), but now live near Boston with my fabulous mommy, Kristyn. She spoils me like the rebellious super genius I am. I love to run around the house, but the hardwood floors in our new apartment are a huge pain in the a--well, you understand.Despite Mommy's fine efforts, I use my super genius ways and always manage to get around her blockades. Boo to the makers of plastic floor covers--who know who you are, you bunny haters. I know there's carpet beneath that plastic somewhere.I keep my cage, aka. my penthouse, in impeccable order, and it is my personal space so stay out or I will fly at you like the ravaged bunny in Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail (who is my third cousin, by the way). Also, NEVER pick me up unless you want to die. That's right; just back away.Wondering about my odd name? My mom is a dork and named me after a town in New Hampshire as a joke (Ha, ha, real funny...punk). Ossippee is also the name of an Indian tribe that lived in New Hampshire way back when, but, as like all great American culture, the European colonists shoved them into Canada where the Ossippee tribe now resides in two reservations, smoking and cursing over the land that was stolen from them. That is why my name kicks ass.