Matt is Better Than You - ProfilesArchive

About Me

His friends claim that he has a wit and charm unlike that of any other. His enemies just think he's a pompous jerk. In fact, some of his friends also think that, they're just more polite about it.Matt makes war, not love, although he is a lover and not a fighter. A lover of a fine pastries.Matt leads a life unlike any other, mostly due to his 10th Level feats of the â€œInappropriate Commentâ€ and â€œToo Much Hair on His Body +5â€. Matt would be a Level 15 Chaotic/Neutral Bard, if he didn't hate nerds with a fiery passion.In glorious spite of the fact that he is white and privileged, Matt has made it his never-ending task to consistently â€œDamn the Manâ€, much to the consternation of his family and friends.Matt likes to use 25 cent words where a 5 cent word would suffice. He does this to make himself seem smarter than he actually is.Akimbo.Matt secretly hates you all. If he had it his way, you would all be living a life of poverty and servitude. If you are already living the life of poverty and servitude, Matt wants you to continue going about your business, only with more emphasis.If Matt had a working Time Machine, he would most likely use it for personal gain with reckless abandon and no thought whatsoever to causality. He would also ensure that Nikola Tesla would be the inventor of Peanut Brittle, merely to make George Washington Carver cry himself to sleep every night.If Matt ever attains the wealth and power he knows that he is entitled to, he shall use these riches to fund the death of his enemies, of which there are many. And also a giant wall to keep out the Mongol Hoards that are want to attack his backyard with little provocation. Possibly a trebuchet for fun on the weekends.Matt is on the AIM system of communication at â€œDiscoWood7â€. You don't have to talk to him; you can just place him on your list and check his away messages like a stalker. It's ok! Really. He's probably doing it to you as you read this, so just reciprocate the favor.The Story of my life:

My Interests

Sleeping, Slacking, Freemason Conspiracies, Damning the MAN, Plotting the downfall of Western Civilization, Bagpipes, Tesla Coils, Failed assassination attempts, Controlling the unwitting populace through media outlets, Cheese

I'd like to meet:

Your hot sister.

Music:

The Bagpipes, The Banjo, and The Accordian. The Trifectia that all the chicks dig.

Movies:

The Big Lebowski, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, The Blues Brothers, MST3K The Movie, Dr. Strangelove, South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut, A Night at The Opera

Television:

Cartoon Network, Comedy Central

Books:

"1984" by George Orwell, "Blameless in Abaddon" by James Morrow, "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud

Heroes:

Batman and Jeffery "The Dude" Lebowski.

My Blog

This is my future.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Grandfather:The hilariously sad thing about this, is that he doesn't remember doing this. This was supposedly for a music video for a group named "Biffy Clyro". So if any of...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 02:13:00 PST

That's right, I'm THAT guy.

I've come to find that I take great pleasure in denying pleasure to other people. This is commonly known as "raining on my parade".Case in point: My neighbors were having a loud and probably fun par...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 01:06:00 PST

Burr up my ass. (Note: Not Aaron Burr)

Almost an entire year without posting anything. If I had just held out for another week or so, I would have officialy won nothing for not doing anything. Par for the course in the life of Matt.I nee...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 02:12:00 PST

CHRISTMAS EVE SPECIAL: HOLIDAY JEER

I wrote thing last year and posted it elsewhere. I now post it here for your holiday enjoyment: Holiday Jeer by Matt Lescault-WoodAge 21 T'was the day before Christmas,about a quarter past ...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Sun, 25 Dec 2005 11:17:00 PST

THE GUILTY PLEASURES OF MUSIC AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM

Every last one of us has a guilty pleasure when it comes to music, and I, contrary to many court decisions on the matter, am just like the rest of you. These are the songs that we have on our computer...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Sat, 05 Nov 2005 08:44:00 PST

Words, Words, Words

Top 10 favorite words: 10) Procrastination 9) Akimbo 8) Defenestration 7) Denizens 6) Hilarious 5) Mozeltov 4) Inordinate 3) Bastards 2) Ironic 1) Poop...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Mon, 31 Oct 2005 07:30:00 PST

TOP 100 SONGS FOR ALL TIME

For those of us with a lot of music, and a lot of free time, I present to ye, the internet masses: MATT'S TOP 100 SONGS FOR ALL TIME. Take note that these are subject to change every 30 seconds or ...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Tue, 23 Aug 2005 06:38:00 PST

It smells funny in this box, but not "haha" funny...

I don't need two places to post random happenings. Go to my LiveJournal (http://www.livejournal.com/users/the_pied_piper/) to find out just how much of an attention whore I can be. Fun for the who...
Posted by Matt is Better Than You on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST