Mikey O.

I can eat 5 Nabisco® Saltine crackers in exactly 1 minute and 16 seconds. Think you can do it? Try it, you can’t beat me. Recently, I’ve been awarded the coveted Shining Star award for my tireless commitment to making our world a better place. I dug a hole and put a pipe in the ground. Think you can do it? Try it, you’ll never get it as deep as I did. Between the cracker accomplishment and the recognition I’ve gained from the award, I now know that my life has meaning. Rather than waking to a dull, gray morning, I now anxiously await the opportunity to eat other dry foods while being timed and shining like the star I really am.