Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz)

About Me

CC was born years ago in a dark alley inside of a trash can. Together, the eight (sometimes seven, sometimes six, sometimes nine, sometimes twelve?) members huddled together in the dark and cold, struggling to survive. Eventually, after long days of anal rape and hot Carls, Agent FMF exclaimed, "Let's play music, you sick fucks! We can bring our flith out of the streets and into punk venues where people will hate us and throw trash at our feet!" Suddenly, VA-Gena replied, "But we don't know how to play instruments!" "Who cares?" General Dick Fuck Duck shouted, "We can rely on our good looks and sex prowess!" With that, the hungry bandmates crawled out of the alley, shit their pants, and started a band playing the most fucked up ska music ever created.
um... So we have these instruments, and we play 'em real loud. We like lots of different music and have really short attention spans. So we play all kinds of different stuff in rapid succession with minimal repetition (you've got a back button on your CD player, don't ya? Why should we need to play it twice, d00dzors?) We like lots of stuff going on all at once; otherwise we get real bored. At our shows, we try to model after riots and circus acts. We like people getting dropkicked, drinking pee, doing handsprings, smearing Free Pussy's blood on VA-Gena's boobies, burning pubes... We REALLY hate holding still, so, just like in the music, there's always a bunch of stuff happening all at once. We dress up in crazy costumes and have weird props we throw around (*cough* dildos)... so yeah.... um..... just listen to the CDs, cause they're good dammit...
If you buy one Cryptorchid Chipmunk CD this week...
make sure it's this one!!!
Our CD is available on Interpunk!!! Dude! Why are you still sitting there?!?!?! You should... uh. still sit there. And maybe listen to our CD while you're doing it. Yep.
And the Eating is Free ...IN HELL! music videoT-Shirts and other merchandise now available here! http://cryptorchidchipmunk.bigcartel.com

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 8/14/2004
Band Website: cchipmunk.com
Band Members: TurboNegro V2.7e!!!!!!!!--guitar and vocals and pee drinking

DJ Dee Jay Very Good Excellent--keyboards and vocals and internet girlfriends

Free Tang--bass and voskillz!

Agent FMF--drums and killer haircut

Try the xBAJAx EFFIN xBLASTx , d00d--guitar... obviously...(he can crank it to 11)

Natalie or somthing - Saxaphone and dreads

and sometimes... actually more like never anymore
Andy the Door Bum--Guitar
The Amazing Incredible Abominable MC General Dick Fuck Duck Burger III Jr. Esquire of Texas McNasty Jr. Esquire III Popcap W.K.--keyboards and vo-killz and thong wearing butthole mastermind

Tuba by Night!!--tuba... or was it fly?

The Business Faerie--trumpet and standing and phil and takin' care of...

Aric the great Pokemon catcher - Trumpet (maybe)

Alik Bold Lick - Random samples
Influences: The Aquabats, Catch 22, Big D and the Kids Table, The Suicide Machines, Mindless Self Indulgence, Link 80, Queen, Nofx, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Kenny G Guttermouth, Reel Big Fish, Nerf Herder, MC Chris, cryptorchid chipmunk, Johnny Cash and attention defeciznit disorder.
Sounds Like: Chaotic ska-core. Progressive punk rock. Lots of strange vocals, strange noises, key changes, and tempos. Entire genre changes from one moment to the next, complicated yet beautiful and gritty. We are not ska enough for ska kids to like us and not hard enough for hardcore kids to like us--we are just in the middle where, guess what?!, NO ONE likes us!!! However, we promise you will have never heard another type of music like this. Sit back, strap yourself in, and be prepared for utter weirdness and utters and weirdness. We've been compaired to MSI, The Aquabats, GWAR, and a bunch of other bands we sound nothing like, but hey, whatever... right?
Type of Label: None

My Blog

sorry homiez!

This tour has been a magical adventure with many trials and challenges. Also the show on Saturday April 15th has been cancelled as of a few hours ago. So we are sorry to anyone who ...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Sat, 15 Apr 2006 10:42:00 PST

Cryptorchid Gay-munk News + n00dz 2/27/2006!

Word up, homiez!A few short (like Duck's Prince Albert shaft) updates... We're about to head out on our 1st tour of the year, and everyone has already wet and creamed themselves in ...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Mon, 27 Feb 2006 12:09:00 PST

Area band kills 2 Vans in less than a month

Thats right, we killed one in Oklahoma on DEC 31, and one in South Carolina on JAN 21.... you know what?... don't even ask BUT THE GOOD NEWS!!! WE ARE STILL PLAYING THE SHOW TONIGHT (JAN 21) IN GEORG...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Sat, 21 Jan 2006 07:57:00 PST

Tour dates cancelled :(

So, remember that awesome van we told you about in our last blog entry? Well, it died in oaklahoma--a very slow and painful death. The transmition decided it was sick of living and committ...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Tue, 03 Jan 2006 12:53:00 PST

NEW VAN!!!!!!

yeah!!!!! we got a new van Carlos DICKboob Santana talked to his buddy Rob Halford and got us a new van. Its huge and use to be a Tard Cart. well i guess it still is but now WE ARE THE RETARDS!!!!&nbs...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Wed, 23 Nov 2005 10:03:00 PST

Celebrity Guitar Player for November mini-tour

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! our friend rob thomas hooked us up, guess who's playing guitar with CC on the November tour!! i bet he's not playing in your shitty highschool band! h...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Thu, 17 Nov 2005 02:48:00 PST

Brothel_waffle CD REVIEW

shit dog... projectactivemedia.com reveiwed one of our CDs READ IT: Its like waking up on Saturday morning and watching your favorite cartoons. While doing so, someone shit in your cer...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Sun, 06 Nov 2005 06:52:00 PST

Tour Picturez!!!

Here is a collage of a few pictures we took during our tour this summer. There are sooo many more, but these were some of the best. See if you can find yourselves, homies. ...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Sun, 21 Aug 2005 02:28:00 PST

TOUR--we will pwn you!!

so, we are on tour right now, and so far it kicks ass. we have met some awesome people, been to some awesome places, played with awesome bands, and molested some children in different states!! we hi...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

WE WILL PLAY AT YOUR HOUSE!!

so you wanna have the chipmunk play for you?? look at the tour dates, if it's just a series of states with '/'s between them for the venue, and you live in or near one of those states, tell us somewhe...
Posted by Cryptorchid Chipmunk (DIY after all these yearz) on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST