House

Ok, first of all, I'm not a Libra. If this were the middle ages, or I lost the use of my frontal lobes I might consider being a Libra. But... I have a smattering of brain cells left, so I cannot claim to be a Libra, a Taurus, a Goat, a cricket, a sea cucumber, or any other critter that crawls across some crazy calendar. Bloodletting, witch burning and astrology haven't exactly passed the test of time in my book. I'm into the no-muss no-fuss atomic clock. There's gotta be a way to remove that Libra crap from my profile...
Ok, now back to fun(BTF). Here are some things that have been on my mind lately: puppy dogs, long walks on the beach, a hot fudge sunday for two with only one spoon, spooning in general, snorkles, fireworks on Christmas, what the fuck a sea cucumber is, the Shibuya train station, actual physical withdrawal from the ramen in Tokyo, the word esophagus, witty girls, exoskeletons, girls from Florida who post pictures of their asses on Myspace and have 22,345 friends, how a simple thing like a shwarma from Ali Baba's on Haight Street can turn my bowel into a biological Weapon of Mass Destruction, Yeti love, cynical twits, eating a pork rind about every 10 years to make sure I still don't like them, apricot butt balms and other stuff girls buy in them lotion shops that make their buns smell like fruit smoothies, fruit smoothies, the word epiglottis, my intention to dance drunk and naked on the the table at my own seance, the wistful melancholy feeling that comes over me when I realize I may never be able to deliver the phrase "Up your nose with a rubber hose" with the same rabid fervor as I did in my formative years, the corresponding realization that I displayed intense insensitivity as a child by hurtling those stomach-pumping threats to everyone on the playground, and finally, the twelve-step cult I will undoubtedly join someday in a vain attempt to rid myself of the guilt I am now suffering from thinking about the last two items.
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