FAKE BIO:
My name is Jeff and i used to live in las vegas now i'm stuck at ft. drum new york.
REAL BIO:
I've always viewed life as a siren-song of flowering gratitude. If we're not giving back, we're giving up. In addition to holding the world land-speed record for sashay, I'm working on my ultimate goal of teaching sassy forms of walking to needy children in third world countries around the globe. Why lead a CHILD to basic nutrition when they can do it for themselves with sass and attitude? Because as a professional landmine hopscotch instructor, I think I know a thing or two about fancy footwork. On a more personal note, I'd like to encourage a healthy dialogue between us. That said, you may notice I have some difficunty spelling certain words, so if you see ANY grammatical errors, please feel free to devour the genitals of a syphilis-ridden panda. (I'm available for babysitting, catered religious fundraisers and outpatient neuro-surgeries)
