Joel SMASH! profile picture

Joel SMASH!

Relax, I'm a Professional

About Me

I'm an amazing cosmetology student at Paul Mitchell the School, I write, I read, I make love to beautiful women. I want to rule the world from a Mad Scientist Fortress high in the Carpathian mountains. I dance, I sing (badly), I feed neighborhood cats. I smoke, I curse, I build tiny plastic pirate ships. I party with the most amazing people in the craziest places. I live with the most beautiful girl in the world. I have the best life.
My Bitch is hotter'n yours.

My Interests

aldus huxley, anime, anthropology, hair cutting, cosmetology, hair dye, color, salons, ARCS, PMTS, JPMS, bondage, booze, bugspray, burninating, caddy is a fat_cunt, camarilla, candles, chocolate, choo-choo bear, comic-con, comics, consciousness streaming, corsets, cthulhu, dancing, deathrock, deer park high school, derbys, electricity, electrofetish, electronic, eris, eugenics, explosion, fake hair, fetish, fiction, glamrock, goth, guns, hats, houston, independent films, industrial, jack kerouac, jokes, knowing stupid things, latex, makeup, mindless self indulgence, movies, my mind, nakid, neil gaiman, nerd, nerdstuff, nihilism, noodles, onicon, pac man, people, philosophy, photography, piercings, power, president bush, psychological disorders, relative realities, rpgs, s&m, sadomasochism, scarification, sci-fi, sculpture, sex, surealism, sword fighting, swords, tattoos, team scary head, techno, terry gilliam, texas, the watchmen, thomas hardy, tim burton, tim curry, toys, trivia, volkswagon, walking, werewolves, zombies, death cults, movie monsters, rubber, blackmail, computers, zippos, heart attacks, winter, sunsets, meaningless flings, ropes, fingernails, siege engines, nerds, geeks, snowflakes, conformity, economics, logic, critical thinking, lucid dreams, voodoo, hairdoo, bats, insects, NOT SPIDERS, spiderman, stream of consciousness, utilitarianism, Emanual Kant, Ausman Spare, Kennith Grant, The Illuminati, Hodge Podge, Keepers of the Sacred Chao, Monkeys, Pie, Beer, slingshots, fudge, birthdays, lips, Corsets, Stockings, Big Clunky Boots, Staying out too late, memorabilia, College, Money, Mind control, Space Rays, Shrink Rays, Rayguns, Explosive Barrels, Ugly shirts, Torn pants, Metal, Drills, Sandpaper, Twister, meat!, pineapple upside down cake, parking lots, fire, hooks, staples, Dr Fucking Pepper, Ephedrine, Sleep, Lunatics, Nightmares, Old cartoons, Toys, Redundancy, fucking, group sex, spankings,caning, accents, video games, fashion, travel, Vegas, Hollywood,

I'd like to meet:

I want to see people like me, rising up with hate, laying about them with fiery eyes and steaming genitalia-- possessed by anchient volcano gods from polynesian islands, waving vast breasts and improbable penises at the secret chiefs of the world.I like pholosophers, artists, quacks, freaks, troublemakers, troubadours, engineers, mathmaticians, ego centric philanthropists, monsters, demogouges, doom speakers, waylayers, optimists, nihlists, really anyone with conviction and the testicular fortitute to express it. Everyone's a freak to somebody, you just gotta find your tribe and try to do right by them.I like angry men. Angry men with swollen prose venting from ruptured spleens. I like bitchy women with powerful attack uteruses at the ready to smoten the unwise.I like pretty girls. They make me happy.

Music:

They Might Be Giants, Wumpscut, Die Form, Apoptagyma Berzerk, A-Pop, Nitzer Ebb, Collide, Front 242, KMFDM, Thrill Kill Cult, Cruxshadows, Nightwish (So Gay!), Malice Mizer, Gackt, Legendary Pink Dots, New York Dolls, The Upper Crust, Dresden Dolls, The Mini Bosses, Skinny Puppy, Primus, Bjork, Lisa Lashes, Pet Shop Boys, Nick Cave, Blutengle, Black tape for a blue girl, Aquabats, The Normals, Leatherstrip, Skinny Puppy, The Cure, Depech Mode, Cocatu Twins, 80's, Franky Bones, Alien Sex Fiend, Joy Division, Ani Defranco (fuck you), david Bowie, Christian Death, Dimu Borger, New Model Army, Darling Violetta, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Dj Irine, Roksopp, Casiotone for the painfully alone, Adora

Movies:

Alphaville, Fear and Loathing, Event Horizon, 300, Sin City, LoTR, Star Wars, Equilibrium, Labyrinth, Legend, Rocky Horror Picture Show, ect,

Television:

Battlestar Galactica, Heros, L&O:SVU

Books:

Stranger in a strange land, Principia Discordia, Feast for the Hive, Principles of Econ, Illuminatus, Shrodingers Cat, Jude the Obscure, Cats Cradle, Drawing the Dark, Eon, The Jewish Bible (sex and violence dude!), Lovecraft anything, Cryptonomicon, House of Leaves, Star Wars Books (brain candy!), The Wanting Seed, Huxley's The Island, pretty much anything anyone puts in front of me.

My Blog

Open letter to my House Representative

Dear Representative Fillner, this isn't the first time I've written to you. Previously I expressed my concerns about net neutrality and your views were sympathetic to my own. I'm contacting you again ...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:29:00 PST

Everything is awesome!

I'm about as content as I could be right now. I've got a nice place to live filled with cool stuff.I live with mu cute bedwarmer.I'm in California.I'm going to be having a mold of my schlong made by t...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 02:21:00 PST

My life is Wierder than Yours

Ashley and I elected to not go to Alma Paradiso, a three day mini-burn on the beach in mexico, this year. The idea was for me to stay home focus on school and get some rest since I only have 30 days l...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 03:29:00 PST

Pirate Party Pictures!

Still alive!This last weekend Ashley and I went to a Pirate Party on the "Spirit of San Diego" a 3 Story Yacht out on Mission Bay. I got a whole bunch of photos.Slideshow of the Partyhttp://picasaweb....
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 11:05:00 PST

I really hate my new Hair

Time to start growing it out again. *sigh* I think going to beauty school means getting stupid haircuts.        
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Tue, 16 May 2006 02:38:00 PST

Some Fuente Eterno Pictures

Pictures from the amazing weekend@ Fuente Eterno in Guadalupe Canyon Mexico as a flickr slideshow. Sorta NSFW....
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Wed, 08 Mar 2006 07:17:00 PST

Last night was crazy

Appologies in advance for anything stupid I said/did last night. I was sooooooo drunk. I can't remember the last time I got that intoxicated. I partied like a fucking rock star. Trying to remember wha...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 01:01:00 PST

I have the power!

Mr. Tesla's Death Ray has arrived. Born to me in the arms of a US postal worker who if he had known what his precious cargo contained, surely would have turned it's Purple Rays of Fury upon his co-wo...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Sat, 14 Jan 2006 01:29:00 PST

Goth in the Wierdest Places

Even the Archie Comics are getting in on the Pop Goth phenom. *shudder* Apparently Baked Goods and Coffee pave the way to Gloom-Town where black sack dresses and reading in the sun are de rigueur. ...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Fri, 28 Oct 2005 03:24:00 PST

Week Recap and Party Report.

Two<a href="http://www.zestuff.com/product.php?productid=79&ca t=18&page=1">awsome</a><a href="http://www.zestuff.com/product.php?productid=85&ca t=18&page=1">shirts<...
Posted by Joel SMASH! on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 01:44:00 PST