Tony profile picture

Tony

I am here for Friends

About Me

I have constant yard sales. It's the only way to keep up with my enormous love of SHOPPING! I love browsing, walking, window shopping, trying things on. I love just going along if a friend is shopping. I once spent an entire weekend pretending to be registering for a bridal shower at all the big places downtown, northgate, southgate, centergate, bellevue. It was pure, carnal bliss. Doing this all while masturbating furiously on every escalator I rode and gurgling 'help me' on each crowded elevator so low that nobody could tell it was me were the only things I could think of to make it any better!

My Interests

CDs, parties, the Mall, not doing what my parents tell me, driving, 69, robitussin, cutting, raging, spanging, horticulture. I have a sick dog with only one good eye. He's a fighter and my inspiration. If he can stand up, cock his head to the side and wimper when he sees something he doesn't understand, then by god so can I! Mix tapes, Google, loaning out books and never getting them back, and I like to travel.

I'd like to meet:

Crazy, doe eyed, unicorn-themed wedding planned out since she was six, something blue already waiting in a special box that she got at a special moment from that special 12th grade literature teacher with the words “So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her,” imprinted upon its lid, and a little set of booties, one blue and one pink, that she lovingly keeps in her sock drawer where she put them years ago and said “One day, I’ll love you no matter what you are,” types.

Music:

Pixies, Smiths, Covenant, Wumpscut, Flunk, Placebo

Movies:

In numerical order: 2LDK, 1984, Joe vs. the Volcano, Harold and Maude, the Hobbits ones, Audition, Popeye (Altman), Pan's Labyrinth, Whale Rider, Children of Men, Freeway, Alien(s), The Ring.

Television:

Lost, Heroes, The Riches, Weeds, Veronica Mars, The Office.

Books:

Reading and I have a contentious relationship. Sometimes we can't get enough of each other and sometimes reading can go fuck herself. I wonder if I have commitment issues. I wonder if reading has abandonment issues.

Heroes:

Hiro, Peter Petreli, Suresh, Jessica, Micah, Claire, Ted