Good evening one and all, even if it is not evening for you, it should be...I am the fantastical person that most of the time goes by the name of Mikey, but you may vary this for different occasions on which we may meet or just talk. I would take this chance to comment on my age but that cannot be possible as my age is constantly updating, so you will have to guess. I live in a quiet town called Hindley Green. It’s not really green, and I don’t know who or what Hindley is. I enjoy the greater things in life like raiding castles and taking over countries, beating up cowboys and general banter around the Middle East.Of course, being a spy means that I have a lot of secrets that I’m not allowed to tell you like that one about Santa. Ha-ha, that sly dawg! But still, my occupation has left me to learn many of the world’s most sacred languages, 32 to be precise. 3.142 of them being Double Dutch, Gaelic and Wigan.I can currently play minus 5 instruments, which involves the harpsichord, banjo, and the Super Ocarina. It's like an Ocarina except it's Super. A bit tricky, but practice makes perfect; Unless you’re Chris Simpson in which case you can play anything, or if you’re Daniel Worthington, in which case you’re too kool to play it. It’s hard work being a medieval astronaut.Kool should be spelt with a k, despite what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you. Don’t tell yourself that you are kool, because it makes you less kool. But if you’re not Kate Lynch, then there’s no point in trying because you’re already getting pawned. FAIL.Back to the music, I enjoy all sorts. I would name them but they’re so weird, I can’t even name then. It’s a wide range. Like, if you mixed everything in your kitchen into one big massive slow cooker. You know, like a bit of honey, a bit of metal cutlery, some random items from JML that tries to make life that little bit easier but it’s a bit tacky on the sly. Ok, that’s going off on a tangent, but seriously, I enjoy being a ninja wrestler.If you want to know more, then find me on Wikipedia. Just type in God, I think there’s something on there. There was last time I checked, but people are always making stuff up, so it’s hard to know what’s true and what isn’t. Just hit me up if you’re not sure.My final part in this tale, I shall leave with you now, before i go off to have reconstructive plastic surgery to look like that amazingly handsome chap on the photos: They brought Gladiators back, what about The Crystal Maze? And how good are Pop Tarts, seriously?Four Year Strong Sex
(Except i'm having it)And if you think Peter Hall is a genius, you ain’t seen nothing yet ;)
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