jwr profile picture

jwr

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. font

My Interests

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

I'd like to meet:

Mr. Mxyzptlk, Nero, Bizarro Me

Music:

interpol, warlocks, blackalicious, afghan whigs, dino jr, tws, bhg, pinback, bep, social d, get up kids, poster children, nfg, mxpx, styx, taking back sunday, iron maiden, judas priest, beasties, strokes, bad brains, air, muse, twilight singers, seam, bowie, the smiths, atreyu

Movies:

cooley high, secret window, fight club

Television:

scrubs, contender (because i was the 17th pick), family guy, 21 jump street, the green hornet, daily show, ultimate fighter

Books:

tom robbins, matt ruff, vonnegut, curious george, encyclopedia brown, true crime, autobios & bios

Heroes:

homer simpson - dat mofo has done it all