It's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like. |
I wish there were pig-men. You get a few of those pig-men walking around, suddenly I'm looking a lot better. That way if someone wanted to fix me up they could say, "Hey, at least he's no pig-man."
Posted by George Costanza on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Jimmy crack corn and I don't care! |
Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word manure. It's newer, which is good, and a ma in front of it. Ma-Newer. When you consider the other choices, manure is actually pretty refreshing.
Posted by George Costanza on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
There's no laws in this place! ANYTHING goes! It's THUNDERDOME!!! |
Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable a...
Posted by George Costanza on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange women. |
Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think's gonna be the first ones getting a tour of the ship?
Posted by George Costanza on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks. |
When women smile at me I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic or something. And I don't know if I'm supposed to smile back. I don't know what to do.
Posted by George Costanza on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
Conformity is an obsession with me. |
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is a...
Posted by George Costanza on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
