The Chalk Outline guy's got a good job. |
Not too dangerous, the criminals are long gone. I guess these are people who wanted to be sketch artists but they couldn't draw very well. "Uh, listen, Jon, forget the sketches, do you think if we lef...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
Kids could always resolve any dispute by calling it. |
One of them will say, "I got the front seat." "I want the front seat." "I called it." And the other kid has no recourse. "He called it, what can I do?" If there was a kid court of law it holds up. "Yo...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
How discreet. |
You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
That's odd... |
I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
No Pockets. |
A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Everytime you come home , he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accom...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
Are there keys to a plane? |
Maybe that's what those delays are sometimes, when you're just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. Dammit..I did it again." They t...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? |
I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
Sex, thats meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; thats heavy. Thats like an hour. |
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a c...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. |
Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the ...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
Lousy jerks! |
I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word "ambulance" was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, "Well, isn't that clever." I look in the...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 00:00:00 GMT |
