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I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

You know, people always tell me that I'm funny and cute. OK, not always - I heard that only once. Actually, it was my mom. At least I THINK she said I'm funny and cute. You know, it might have been "Bunnies are cute". Hmmm.You know, people always tell me that bunnies are cute. I'm a contradiction, but I'm not: I'm rational but absurd, seriously dorky, soft-spoken but outspoken, sweet but kinky, laidback but anal, sincere and full of poo, social but introverted, bright but stupid, intense but quiet, simultaneously lazy and busy, well-adjusted but unintentionally strange, seeking both peace and trouble. It's ironic. I'm ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Quick, dry, sarcastic, straight-faced silly, dark, and often inappropriate. (I made up a joke: Why does Mary Poppins feel so fresh? She supercalifragilistickexpialla douches).I hate trying to put myself in a nutshell, especially because my penis won't fit, but if you need to know more, here's the consistant me, for better or for worse:
I'm inexplicably disliked by horses, fiercely competitive (I keep band-aids in my Pictionary game), creative, candid to a fault, boyish (but manly when it counts), self-aware, effortlessly overanalytical, non-judgmental (it's OK if you aren't), crude, repetitive, spontaneous (with notice), musical, friendly, repetitive, graceless, relentless, intuitive, imaginative, playful, quirky, interchangably self-deprecating and cocky (so it evens out, right?), resourceful, wily, impatient, anagramatic, grossly sentimental, neurotic, kinda indecisive (well, not really, well sorta), inappropriate, good at reverse psychology (or AM i?), entirely misunderstood, and very, very Unpredicta---(BOO!). I have a shoe size of 13 (wink!) and, in the right light, at certain angles, at quite a distance, with the right amount of sedatives, I'm not monumentally ugly."No one I feel is in my tree"- John Lennon. Except for some ants. Stupid ants.

My Interests

IN SHORT,
Laughing, learning, music, movies, and games. Breakfast for dinner, free refills, group photos, hot windy nights, making cats purr, being under piers or over piers (any preposition, really), sleeping with rain or a loud fan on, throwing paper airplanes at angel games, drawing troublemaking hearts on windshields of the cars of strangers, filling pinata with inappropriate things, timing it on the freeway to drive under a plane as it lands, and giggling at bingo when they call O 69.IN LONG,
Accents; Air hockey (you will lose); Amusement Parks; Art; Bar games (pool, foosball, digging through a date's purse while she goes potty); the Beach (bodysurfing); Bike Path; Board & Card Games; Bookstores; Bowling; Cats; Cereal; Chess; live Comedy (UCB, Groundlings, Bang, Troubies, I-O West); Concerts; Conspiracy theory; Coupons; DVD extras; Fairs (pregnant pigs, things that really shouldn't be fried); Filmmaking (home movies); Film revivals (Hollywood Forever, New Beverly); Freckles; Friends (I've known all of Top 8 since the 80s); Girly icy drinks (strawberry margarita, pina colada, the mango tori amos tampon princess--- WITH umbrella); Glaucoma medication; Group games (charades, pictionary, whose finger is it anyway?); Halloween; Hiking (San Gabriel, Yosemite, Irvine Spectrum parking lot); Hoop earrings; Horse races; Ice skating; Las Vegas; Lists (um, duh?); Lucid dreaming; Making out; Maps; Maps of places to Make out; Mario Kart 64 and Mario Party; Mini golf; Museums ; Music (appreciation, trivia, creating); Open bars; Parades; Phoenix (frequent trips); Photography; Pigtails; Ping-pong; Plays; Popular culture; Pranks; Programatic architecture; Racquetball; Rain while I sleep; Rooftops and balconies; Sciences; Sightseeing (2nd largest ball of mud); Snowboarding; Tennis; Thrift stores; Travel; Volleyball (sand or gym); Water slides; Your little sister

I'd like to meet:

Larry David, Sarah Silverman, Lorne Michaels, Amy Poehler, Martin Scorsese, Olivia Newton John, David Spade, Christina Ricci, Snoop Dogg, Whitney Port, Matt Groening, Miho Hatori, Quentin Tarantino, Eddie Izzard, Kathleen Hanna, Bill Cosby, Ivanka Trump, David Letterman, Lollipop Girl from Kung Fu Hustle, and your little sister.I get along best with sincere people who don't take themselves seriously. Bonus points for being dorky (or geeky, but not necessarily wacky), with common interests (music/tv/film), common hobbies (volleyball, chess, N64 Mario Kart), or common irrational fears (that Snuggle bear from the old fabric softener commercials).

Music:

Beatles, Beck, Ween, Cake, Led Zeppelin, Ben Folds, Beastie Boys, Cibo Matto, Zero 7, Pink Floyd, Madonna, Boingo, Feist, Kanye West, Rutles, No Doubt, Eminem, Moby, Smiths, Sinatra, Sheryl Crow, Meat Puppets, Ivy, Sade, Crystal Method, Weezer, Strokes, Stevie Wonder, Dilated Peoples, Depeche Mode, B52s, Bob Marley, Thievery Corp, Sublime, Seal, Lenny Kravitz, Madness, Tenacious D, Steely Dan, Kostars, DJ Shadow, Jem, plus a wide range of more embarassing stuff (Debbie Gibson, Bread, Erasure, Mancini, Kenny Rogers), classic rock, 80s, the stuff on MTV2 Subterranean and KCRW, and much more. Oh, and Billie Holiday ("I luff him!").

Movies:

Jaws, Vacation, Kung Fu Hustle, the Untouchables, Kill Bill, Caddyshack, Eternal Sunshine, Amelie, True Romance, Princess Bride, Swingers, Say Anything, Clueless, Planes Trains and Autos, Grease, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Poltergeist, Wizard of Oz, Close Encounters, the Jerk, Raising Arizona, Iron Giant. The weirder stuff (War of the Gargantuas, Man Bites Dog, Capricorn One, They Went That a Way and That a Way) is in my Top 100 Movies listed in Blog.

Television:

Flight of the Conchords, Lost, SNL, Best Week Ever, the Soup, South Park, Simpsons, the Office, 30 Rock, Jeopardy, Human Giant, Reno 911, Simpsons, Subterranean, Top Design, Top Chef, Inside the Actors' Studio, Huell Howser, the Hills, sports highlights, and those hbo america undercover documentaries (i.e. real sex taxicab shock prison hooker ecstacy autopsies 8). Nothing with audience laughter, except Seinfeld or Friends repeats.

Books:

Mostly nonfiction (travel guides, books of lists, maps, dictionaries, biographical); humor (the onion is amazing)

Memorable reads: Monster at the End of This Book (first book); Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and James & Giant Peach (inspiration to write); Watchmen (favorite book ever!); my Stephen King/William Goldman/John Irving phase in my late teens, Clive Barker's Weaveworld; Alive; Rules of Attraction; Welcome to the Monkeyhouse

Heroes:

Charlie Brown and Wile E. Coyote. And everyone puts their grandfather so I'll do that, too. Your grandfather.

My Blog

Europe 2001

Took Air Canada flight was from Los Angeles to Toronto. The safety features shown on the monitor were unsettling. A Frenchman with a blanket on his lap gave me a suggestive look during one part showin...
Posted by g on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

TOP 100 CDS (I am lame)

My favorite 100 CDs    (Top 20 in bold)   Adam & the Ants:  Greatest Hits B52s: Cosmic Thing Baldwin Brothers:  Cooking with Lasers Beach Boys:  Endless Summer B...
Posted by g on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 06:32:00 PST

2007-08 August 2007

AUG 1   Flew in from Maui over the ocean all night. Sitting in a chair for five hours is uncomfortable. Sitting in a chair 35,000 ft in the air makes me uneasy. And if that chair is above a...
Posted by g on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:32:00 PST

Top 100 Movies

My Favorite Movie area was too long so I included my Top 100 Films here: Adventures of Milo & Otis, Airplane, Akira Kurosawa's Dreams, Amelie, Bad News Bears, the Bear, Better Off Dead, Black Shee...
Posted by g on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

2005 Part 2 (July-Dec)

                                    &n...
Posted by g on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 12:12:00 PST

2004 Part 2 (July-Dec)

Created birthday flyer featuring my party as the next stop of the North American Reagan Casket Tour. Guests ate on his coffin as my Dad barbecued. Upon asking how he wants his burger, Reagan, from the...
Posted by g on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

2005 Part 1 (Jan-June)

JAN 2005 Spent new years at Big Bear cabin. At the stroke of midnight, I banged on pots and pans and my utensils broke! (below) (1/1) Sister in from Phoenix. Met my brother-in-law's niece Mia &n...
Posted by g on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

2005-09 / Blunders of Wildlife skit

Blunders of Wildlife Performed by my day care second graders   GLEN:  Welcome to Blunders of Wildlife.  Give yourself a hand for coming out today.   [APPLAUSE]  And, give...
Posted by g on Sun, 26 Mar 2006 11:25:00 PST

2005-12 Best Movies

Only saw 23 movies released in 2005, but here is my ranking:   TOP TEN   1.  Kung Fu Hustle.  A    Ranks up there with Eternal Sunshine and Kill Bill. Exce...
Posted by g on Fri, 06 Jan 2006 11:21:00 PST

2004 Part 1 (Jan-June)

JAN 2004 Stayed in cabin in Big Bear w/ Flo, Laura, Pete, Erin, and Michelle H.  Rang in the new year old school, banging pots and pans.  I brought the pans, Flo brought the pot.  (1/1...
Posted by g on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST