~RoBiN~ profile picture

~RoBiN~

Insanity Unleashed

About Me


I am what I am, I do what I do..I cannot guarantee this will be the same day to day, but I can promise that whatever I am, it's always true to me.
Don't make the mistake of thinking I need you... for though in some cases, I may want you, I need no one but myself, and the air I breathe.
Don't think that because I love you it is limitless... and don't think that because I hate you it is hopeless.
All things have a way of working themselves into what they should be, and if they should not be, then of course, they will not be.
Don't pretend to know me unequivocally... for I won't even make that claim of myself.
Instead, accept me for who I am, ever changing as that may be, and I promise to do the same of you...
...except of course when I'm in one of those moods where for the life of me, I can't see the sides of another, or the wisdom even, in trying... I'm human after all, and claim no hold on wisdom.
"With grace and wonder,
Beneath unsettled wings,
She stands in the rain,
And she sings,
And she sings.
And as she hears her own voice,
Rising up in the air,
She no longer questions,
Whats right,
And whats fair.
With power and poise,
And a new wanderlust,
She feels her heart pounding,
As the past turns to dust.
And she feels in her spirit,
Some new dream of wonder,
As its cursing through her veins,
Like the harsh midnight thunder,
That pounds in the heavens,
Sending an alarm to the change,
And for once in her life,
She is proud to be strange.
A stranger that walks,
Always upon her own trail,
And finally has faith,
In that shell never fail.
She breathes in the night,
And lets it tickle her skin,
Allowing her lips,
To curl up into a grin.
With passion and hunger,
And a desire to soar,
Shes finally ready,
To open herself up to more.
To let it all in,
Both the good and the bad,
No longer filled with the fear
That it might leave her sad.
Just curious to feel,
All that might be hers to touch
Romance, and anger,
And elation and such.
With grace and wonder,
Beneath unsettled wings,
She stands in the rain,
And she sings,
And she sings,
And she feels alive,
Just cursing with power,
As she dances unfettered,
Ringing in a new hour.
An hour when nothing,
Will be as its been.
Where her eyes will be open,
To see what shes not seen.
When finally its fresh,
And nothing is stale.
When all that came before,
Will be broken and frail.
Where only the now,
Has power or reason,
And shes finally arrived,
With the change in the season. "
Dance, as though you have no choice.
Shout out, screaming with this new voice.
Live out loud, if only just to live,
and offer no more, than you are free to give.
Cry out, because you feel the need.
Taste life, with this famished, new found greed.
Spin round, and see this life in streams.
Move quickly, like a dreamer chasing dreams.
Stay open, and bordered not at all.
Spread your arms, and move into this free fall.
Fear nothing, but delight in all things new.
Except not, but what you feel is true.
Hear nothing, unless the words are wise.
Keep growing, and never close your eyes.
Forgive all, and chain no one to their deeds.
Ride the wind, and keep planting these new seeds.
Travel on, until you find your way.
Follow no words, but hear everything they say.
Swim the skies, and fly within the seas.
Keep in mind; you've only you to please.
Free your mind, and live outside the cage.
Anger at nothing, and never fear their rage.
Step daintily, but always to your own beat.
Follow nothing, but the path of your own feet.
To yourself, must you always remain true.
Beyond that, there is nothing you must do.
-
..

My Interests

My interests, like myself, are always in a state of evolving, though, there are three main things that remain always at the front of my fevered brain;
1) my daughter, Aries, whom without my world would never be nearly so bright, so brilliant, or so endlessly fun...
2) writing, for without I'm sure by now that I would be irreversibly insane(not to say that I'm certain that I'm not already, but writing gives me the option of pretending otherwise)...
3) and finally, I find myself endlessly interested, often disgusted, sometimes amazed, and definitely enthralled, by humanity... may it always be a ride I never fully understand so as that I always have something to strive for in the seeking to comprehend.


...I love video games mostly RPGs and FPS. I'm an avid reader, I play chess, I read commics and I like anime. Yes, it's true, I am just that damn cool. (my newest addiction: SecondLife)

I'd like to meet:

People that see the world in colors, and never in shades of grey... wondrous beings full of light, love, and the ability to imagine. Creatures innocent enough to want to still see, and wise enough not to believe that all they see is ever all there is to be told.
Those who know the difference between love and lust, and never seek to use one as a lie against the other, but instead, strive only to make each emotion grander every day.
Those that will not be sated by what they're told to see, but fight endlessly to see well beyond the scopes of a society on the brink of extinction as the doors to the future slowly, yet surely open up into new and miraculous wonders.
Dreamers that, like myself, see things always in their own light, their own reckoning... and finally... I would like to meet people that never mistake my kindness as ignorance, but instead, possess the ability to accept, if not understand, my ever changing personality.




Let the wind come, and the rain.
Let it wash away this dream.
May it leave me feeling cleansed,
And pure within this stream.
Let the angels never fall,
But retain their hold on grace.
May the darkness never dim,
That smile upon your face.
Let the sunshine never fade,
Let it always keep you warm.
And may this grand illusion,
Protect you always from false charm.
Let the birds remain in flight,
And never falter in their way.
May the words that come so blindly,
Give us faith in what we say.
Let the lovers dance in glee.
Let them never fear an end.
May they hear only their own hearts,
And not the darkness others send.
Let forever not seem long,
But one moment in suspense.
May all things just come out natural,
Always making perfect sense.
Let the world spin on in vane.
Let the tides just ebb and flow.
May the pain that comes with heartbreak,
Never be something that you know.
Let the faces always change,
But the hearts remain the same.
May you never know remorse,
That you bet it all upon this game.
Let the jaded somehow heal,
And begin their lives anew.
May their bitterness fall silent,
May it not pass on to u.
Let the stars up in the heavens,
Twinkle brightly in the night.
May their constant shining wisdom,
Give you hope that all is right.
Let the writers have their words.
Let the singers have their songs..
May the right choices that you make,
Make up for all the wrongs.
Let the pavements find no end,
But grant mysteries untold.
May you always remain sturdy.
May your ambitions remain bold.
Let me have this tiny peace,
Upon myself must I rely.
May I never give up dreaming,
Or lose, at least, the will to try.

This one goes to all my should have beens that never were,
And all of those who’ve touched my heart.
Here now comes the ceremony,
For all I’ve been too afraid to start.
The clock strikes upon a new cord,
That reminds me I’m awake,
And opens up to all those roads,
That I’ve been too afraid to take.
Here now raise the hour,
When all past falls where it belongs.
And here now comes the time,
To give voice, all silent songs.
Remembrance of all things bitter,
That leave acid on your tongue,
And all that telltale misery,
That takes you back to when you’re young.
All those faded moments,
That left nothing of desire,
And all those empty promises,
That fill a mind with icy fire.
Here now lay the day,
When it suddenly makes sense,
To bring it all up once again,
And then leave it all past tense.
Here now comes the quaking,
That brings the earth down to it’s knees,
And bring with it the power,
To seek out all the things that please.
Shout down from the mountains,
A scream boiling in your veins,
Letting go that rage and torment,
So that it no longer reins.
Here now comes the time,
When we are free at last to live.
Where all the love that’s in our hearts,
Is ours alone to give.
When dreamers at last dream,
Without fear, behind closed eyes.
And all is freed up from our souls,
With longing, heartfelt sighs.
Here then comes the time anew,
When all realities have shattered.
When we toss it all down at our feet,
And figure out what really mattered.
Here now comes the time,
For self discovery and bliss.
When all, or not’s decided,
Within that first sweet kiss.
Laughter will fall like pedals,
To heal wounded souls.
And not is left to torment spirits,
When that final brass bell tolls.
Here now comes the moment,
When the waves beat against the shore.
When finally there’s healing,
For all that leaves one sore.
And here now comes the day
Born as a fresh new page.
When finally we realize,
That all of life’s a stage,
To do with as we wish,
To dance the steps we chose to dance.
And everything is always certain,
Although everything’s a chance.

Music:


Whatever for the moment makes my heart feel lighter, heavier, happier... depending on what I need to at that moment feel.
Music, like feelings, like books, movies, ect... should never be limited in interest by only one genre, but instead, people should always sample all the flavors in their reach.

Faves at the moment include:
anything by Jack Johnson, or Bif Naked... (Everday, Hold On, and the remake of Nothing Else Matters quite seriously kick ass, but everything the woman touches, I am bound to love.)
Shinedown, Godsmack, Disturbed, NIN,
Guns 'n' Roses (still listen to the old stuff),Sex Pistols, Amy Lee, Seether, old Metalica (not since they went limp), Megadeath...
CCR, BOC, The Doors....
I could go on for an hour, and still only touch the tip of it, but let's put it this way to simplify: I love music. There seems to be a constatly playing soundtrack in the back of nearly every memory forged in my mind. The main playlist on my computer and Mp3 player is just over 3000 songs containing everything from the new Stone Sour to The Eagles. From Emenem to Japenese Opera. I don't overly like rap or country, but what of it I do enjoy, I tend to greatly love. I like to keep a good mix so that no matter which of my personalities is at the wheel, they can all be contented.


Movies:

Final Fantasy 7, Advent Children... seriously, if you haven't seen it, SEE IT!!! hehe... it rocks.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...
Natural Born Killers, Dawn of the Dead, The Lost Boys, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Mulan, Final Fantasy/the Spirits Within, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Matrix(the first one. Sorry, but the other two kinda blew.) Star Wars (both new and old)Punchdrunk Love, The Entity, Underworld, Final Destination, Resident Evil,V For Vendetta...Horror is, has been and always will be my top genre for books and movies... anything vamp, zombie or lycanthrope rocks my world... next best thing: anything post apocalypse. I'm also in love with movies that have an actual message and aren't just all about the big flash bang BOOM. (not that I dont love the big flash bang BOOM!!!)
.... okay, I spent three years working in a video store just so I could indulge in the free movies... there is not many movies prior to the last few years that I haven't seen. These days, I tend to be otherwise distracted more often then not and have a harder time keeping up to the new stuff.

Television:

T.V. has always been the quickest way to rot the mind and paralyze imagination.... but never so much so as it's become since reality television was allowed to suffocate the airwaves. WHO THE HELL THOUGHT UP AMERICAN IDOL?????? I'll pay a heavy reward for that man/woman's home address so I can torture them as they have an entire nation.
I'll admit to have having fave shows in the past(Oz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer(hold your smartass comments) 'V', CSI....)
And I'll admit to downloading every single episode of Lost as it comes out, but I am proud to say that I haven't watched more then a half hour of total television in the whole of the last three months...hell, if I ever even figure out why I bother to pay for cable, I'll be sure and let y'all know.

Books:

I don't even have a clue as to where to start here... Oliver Twist, Tale of Two Cities, Great Expectations, Nicholas Nickleby....Charles Dickens is(was) an amazing weaver of words. As is(was) of course Edgar Allan Poe, who even now has the power of striking up goosebumps on my flesh when I read some of his dark tales... but moreover, he has managed to remain my favorite poet throughout the ages (the only close second being my favorite could have been, that never was... not publishsed yet, but it's truly only a matter of time)... then there's King, whos greatest book(if you're asking me, and since this is my space, I'll take that to mean you are) was the Stand. Hmmm.... Anne Rice's chronicles of the Mayfair Witches (I don't get the popularity of her Vampire Chronicles..whiniest damn vamps I ever did see... well, addmittedly, Lastat was groovy).... nearly everything that Clive Barker ever set his pen to... Robert McCammon's Swan Song... The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams(who didn't love that one?)and many, many of Adams other works....Lovecraft, Wells... oi, I could keep going here, but really, I don't know how much space this allows, so I'll just end with ; ect... ect.... ect.....

Heroes:

Does Scooby Doo count???

Ok, seriously, my heroes are people that live true... regular people that you have the pleasure of coming by every now and then in your day to day life. Those that have just cast off the typical bubbles of entrapment, and adapted to the world around them without sacrificing themselves to do it.

My Blog

The Green Eyed Monster... and some other babble.

Jealousy is the single most wasted emotion in the human range. It is also one of the most powerful, and definitely amongst the most dangerous. So far as I have ever seen, jealousy has never dictated o...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 12:56:00 PST

Yadda Yadda Yadda

Ok, blog happy tonight I guess, chalk it up to a restless mind and an inability to sleep. Oh ya, chalk bad grammar and spelling up to the same cause I'm not even bothering to proof read this crap.... ...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 02:00:00 PST

Silence

There is always a silence that speaks more then words hold power to do. It is in the wisdom of hearing this silence speaking that breaks down the walls between existing and living. Some silence should...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 11:43:00 PST

You Decide

I get these feelings at times I can not truly explain, for they will not be forged into words adequate enough to encompass the meaning for someone else to fully understand. It is as though I can smell...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 05:13:00 PST

a note about Reflection

Just a few things I wanted to point out for those of you (if any) that read Reflection. Firstly, due to this story and a few of my recent poems and rants, Ive gotten a few odd reactions. I want it to ...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:48:00 PST

Reflection continued

Reflection cont... His brow creased and he looked as though Id reached out and physically slapped him. He took a couple steps back, widening the space between us. . I could see a vein in his neck be...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:43:00 PST

Reflection - a short story

Reflection   I woke up with the taste of ash and blood on my tongue, and something else I could not place, but that nonetheless holds the power to leave me queasy still to this day, upon recognit...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:36:00 PST

Boy-Blue

Boy-Blue   I saw a little man, his jaw line black and blue, He pushed a rusted buggy, as though it was something he must do. I took a second glance, and saw this man; he was a child. I saw the ...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 08:16:00 PST

But what about the children?

But what about the children?     We live in a civilized society. . . so far from our  roots whence once upon a long ago, we lived in caves and scavenged for food.   We walk around...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 08:02:00 PST

My Official Take on Online Dating

My Official Take on Online Dating   This is my official opinion on online dating. . . so right now, if you are currently in love, in lust, or in wonder of someone online, please, either read...
Posted by ~RoBiN~ on Fri, 07 Apr 2006 09:01:00 PST