I am NOT interested in hearing how lucky I am to be an American
I am NOT interested in hearing how lucky I am to be alive
I don't give a shit who you are, and how famous you are, if you are talented great! I love being around talented people, however, IF you are pretentious take your lofty pompous ass somewhere else, thanks!
Tell me how you are gonna change the world for the better and you've got my eyes and ears and ill be impressed! I've gotten a little more nihilist than I was before as the days go on but I would like to make my imprint on the world through philanthropy and would love to meet others who would like to do the same.
I am no longer interested in continuing relationships with Liars, cheaters and fakes. Jesus I feel like a scum magnet lately, it feels like I have been swimming in the Ganges river all day long, for the last four months (perhaps my whole life) and now i need to bathe in Iodine or some hydrin peroxide and maybe then sprikle some holy water on me, fuck! I feel gross!
I was a bad person for many years, and in some ways, I think I may be paying my tokens for it. I believe that you reap what you sow
Friendship is very important to me, I am pretty much, for the time being not interested in relationships. However, Friendship is more than a word, its actions.
Friends are not just the people that will bail you out of jail, but the ones in there with you.
Friends are people who are there for holding your hand during crisis every single second they can be, until you're better. Friends will crawl into bed with you and snuggle with you when your heart is broken. Friends will take off out of state to be a distraction from hurtful thoughts. Friends will hold your hand through the things you don't want to go through.
Now I'll be honest, I have a lot more people in this town that dislike me than like me. That's okay. The people that I have in my life are amazing. I am very, very happy with them.
I have lived what could be considered a long, torturous life in my almost 27 years. Full of death, heartbreak, let downs, violence you name it. But seemed to have bounced back pretty quickly. Ever since a close friend of mine passed away Four years ago November 28th, it changed my direction in life. I want to follow the path that makes me happy, being a mom a philanthropist, self employed, a doula and a photographer.
I have been working on PerverseFixation.com for damn near two years. The photos are amazing. The models are family. The site and staff are so beyond words. We are going to do good things for women in third world countries. I hope we can effect change in how the alt-industry is ran.
The son hasn't shined for me in the last two months, I have my reasons. And close friends who have taken care of me. I love them. If i seem bitchy or disconnected that's why. I am moving to Los Angeles August 15th and it scares the shit out of me, fuck that shit. Damn if I am gonna let some Oik sexual deviant prick determine when, and why I am gonna move. I'm gonna move to LA when I can take my son to disneyland every sunday and not worry about getting my lights shut off.
We don't need, don't need, no haters
Just try to love one another
We just want y'all have a good time
No more drama in your life
Work real hard to make a dime
If you got beef, your problem, not mine
Leave all that BS outside"
About the photo's--SEE blog
Quotes that move me, although maybe contradicting. I'm a walking contradiction its the bipolar in me.
"Be the change you want in the world"
"I'm the Suzy Fucking Sunshine of the upper east side and sometimes I wanna kill myself"
"All life is continual destruction and healing, over and over again."
"If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think 'How lucky are the dead.'"
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
"Love means doing no harm"
"Deep in my eyes I'm one hundred years old."
"feeling so feeling so out of control, because the years have not been kind to me you know"
"No matter how extreme a situation is, it will change. It cannot continue forever. Thus, a great forest fire is always destined to burn itself out; a turbulent sea will become calmer. Natural events balance themselves out by seeking their opposites, and this process of balance is at the heart of all healing"
"Actually, without these slight imbalances, there could be no movement in life. It is being off balance that keeps life changing. Total centering, total balance would only be stasis. "
"That is why, even in the midst of an extreme situation, the wise are patient. Whether the situation is illness, calamity, or their own anger, they know that healing will follow upheaval."
Lets get this out of the way. I am a Godless Bleeding Heart Liberal. I do believe in some parts hinduism and Taoism . I believe that socialism can work. I am in discussion with someone that I have known for almost 11 years to Marry and live in between Los Angeles and Europe (he's from Sweden)
I enjoy debates about politics and religion if you are respectful and well informed. I read as much as I can. I read a lot of biographies, especially political ones. I also like to read about war, and war tactics, I find that it applies very close to business.
For the first time in my life I have more friends that are girls that are boys. My friends are probably personality wise half boy and half girl as am I. I don't know if i will ever find someone who appreciates my personality on top of the fact that I love:
Comic Books
Anime
Guns, Maintaining, Shopping, window shopping
Knives and swords -- I am learning how to throw knives currently
Tattoos
Cars-- Driving for hours listening to music, maintaining, building, improving, shopping, photographing, racing
Being a doula-- Yes I actually am Certified to help deliver babies
Art-- I could spend hours and hours in museams
Music-- Rules my life, my taste would probably make you cringe generally im an 80's fanatic, synthpop and electroclash
Porn -- I make great porn lol
Sports-- Mostly hockey, infact I am a huge fan, and if i had the time I would go to more games, but it's an expensive hobby
Getting dressed up-- yay girlie stuff
Changing the way my hair looks, changes the way i look
Traveling to places with large bodies of water
Fishing
Shopping- I never used to be this way, but now i like expensive shoes and bags, I have waaay too many
Technology
Curling up and watching a movie in my room
My bed of 1,000 pillows
Irish Carbombs
Chimay
Hot Flashes (the Drink)
Hard Core with a shot of chamborg
MAC Makeup
Apple Computers
Big Floppy Audrey hepburn hats with Designer sunglsses
Laughing so hard I cry
Dane Cook
Coffee and Cigarettes
4wheeling
Driving no particular destination listening to music
