Ace of Kittens

I'm a sad, pale, wild-haired failed academic/failed actor without any hope of ever getting a job in the real world who has totally sold out to The Man. My best party trick remains an impression of a cat puking up a hairball. And I also do a great impression of a scared opossum! I can also bend my thumbs backward. No one seems to be able to help me break the vicious cycle of melancholy, or at least suggest a wardrobe color other than black, green, or burgundy. Viva Las Vegas!