Soapy profile picture

Soapy

The Year of the Golden Cheeto begins.

About Me


2007 - The Year of the Cheeto. I am now someone's mother. Good grief, who ever thought that was a sane idea?
Wordy to a fault. Wife, mother, milk factory, business owner, cat charmer. Deep, shallow, long, short. Sleepy.
I write a lot of blogs. A LOT. Read them or not. I am sometimes witty. Sometimes not.

Here's a crazy clip of me interacting with my son. It's one of the coolest moments in my parental life so far!
Amos' first laugh

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Maybe someday I'll be a sex columnist - a fun, sassy one with a freaky biology twist (thus putting my biology degree to some use). Someday I'll write a book. Someday I will do something on time. Need more wine...

My Interests

Stuff. Blankets. The insides of your head. Random and odd facts. Things that are cruel and/or unusual.

I'd like to meet:


I've now met the fruit of my loins. He's darn cute, this little man of mine. Meeting him will suffice for now, although I'm sure you're an interesting human as well. Just not as interesting as my offspring.
Otherwise... People I have randomly encountered in life, and perhaps their random circle of friends. I would like a burrito of friends. Some that are meaty and tasty, some that are full of beans, some that are cheesy, some that are sassy and saucy, and a few to wrap it all up. Is that you?

Music:



Music touches me inappropriately, and I don't have the proper doll to show you where.

Movies:

Much like my friends, I am a movie-quote-aholic. I do not pretend to shun movies and TV. Here are a few of my favorite things.
Silence of the Lambs ("Right, was she a great big fat girl?").
Sideways. A movie that features wine as the central character? Hell ya. And no, I don't drink f**king Merlot.
Taxi Driver ("I hope no one has died.").

Television:

HBO, baby. I think I was Calamity Jane in a previous life. "Are you fuckin' dead?!" "Where did this puddle of piss come from? I should have been more careful when I sat upon this spot."
Comedy stuff/specials. Appearances by Phil Porter on Animal Planet.
Hooked on The Amazing Race - I'm convinced that Phil and I should be on it.

Books:

Anything with pretty pictures or fuzzy things to touch.

Heroes:

My heroes have always been cowboys...and if anyone really knows me, then you know that's a damn lie (up yours, Texas!).
Comedians, man, that's where it's at. Ain't nothing better than a man (occasional woman) who can make me snort.
My current hero is Amos Russell Porter, the fruit of my loins (and Phil's loins as well). He sleeps like a champ, which taunts his parents as we learn to live without sleep.

Oh, and Stephen Hawking for his brilliant sense of humor.

My Blog

Stuck in the middle with you

I'm still here.  Still alive.  So is my father.  Coffee is wonderful.  So is Phil.  Here's an update:Stuck in the middle with you     is posted....
Posted by Soapy on Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:14:00 PST

She lives!

If you've been wondering where I am, the answers are in the link.  And yes, it's a serious situation.She lives!     is posted....
Posted by Soapy on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:57:00 PST

Get spooky in your own time and space, lady

Here's a tale to chill your Sunday.  A real, bona fide ghost story.Get spooky in your own time and space, lady     is posted.*shudder*...
Posted by Soapy on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:57:00 PST

Resting on my laurels, the hard way

See in graphic detail how I walked on water.  It can happen in these modern times, my friends.Resting on my laurels, the hard way     is posted.Behold, amen....
Posted by Soapy on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 08:01:00 PST

Puttin on the parka

Woohoo!  A mini-trip to the mountains!  Sledding!  Gawking at skiers!  Laughing at the ones who fall down!  Woohoo!Puttin' on the parka     is posted....
Posted by Soapy on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 11:30:00 PST

Month 8

The boy done grew out his britches.Month 8     is posted.Pics, pixx, and piczzzz!...
Posted by Soapy on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:35:00 PST

PhilOsophy - On Tonights Menu: Everything But Flavor

Full of sass but lacking in taste, as it should be.PhilOsophy - On Tonight's Menu: Everything But Flavor    is posted.Dish it up, y'all....
Posted by Soapy on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:39:00 PST

Naps naps naps

All kinds of naps.  Fried naps, nap kabobs, boiled naps, naps on the barbie...Naps naps naps    is posted....
Posted by Soapy on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:56:00 PST

Calling all troops

Because sometimes I don't know how to ask...Calling all troops     is posted....
Posted by Soapy on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:42:00 PST

Guess what I did to his bum?

Why is this in the category of Dreams and the Supernatural?  Because that's where you feel like you are when you must do this sort of thing to someone's hind quarters.Guess what I did to his bum?...
Posted by Soapy on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 02:04:00 PST