The Irrepressible Mr. Hat profile picture

The Irrepressible Mr. Hat

Canuckus Newfius

About Me

I am a citizen of the world, although border patrol in many countries tend not to buy that one when asking for my passport.
The Irrepressible Sexual Kimchi @ Open Mic Rockssin!
feat. Brandon Webb (guitar, vocals); Ronan O'Doherty (bass); Brian Kelly (drums); Me (vocals)
Thanks, Linz~!

My Interests

Protecting the Earth Realm from the combined threats of cranially enhanced turkeys, extra-dimensional demons, extra-galactic alien armadas, Pope Vaticanus II, and assorted flotsam and jetsam with my comrades-in-arms, the Turkey Hunters, the Gatekeepers, and Anyang FC: Challengers of the Paranormal.

I'd like to meet:

Genuine, sincere, honest people.I'll be returning to Korea in October 2007 and will most likely withdraw from the Seoul social scene. The truth is I am exhausted from dealing with self-indulgent image fascists. I say this knowing that I am not without fault myself. It is less tiring, however, associating with people who do not feel they have to purchase a 300 dollar leather jacket to feel accepted in a subculture that bills itself as non-conformist; people who do not use the concept of "free love" as an excuse to be promiscuous; and, as always, people who do not frequent Itaewon.In short, I fear I have become even more irascible, and that isn't likely to change.

Music:

So Cow and his friends, Too Pig and Fairly Sheep, have taken the world by storm, and have criss-crossed the globe in search of excitement and loose change. Will their musical rival and arch-nemesis, Very Horse, upstage them at their next destination? Is So Cow doomed to be ground into hamburger meat by the capricious Farmer Extreme? Tune in every Wednesday night at 9 for "The So Cow Saturday Morning Animated Entertainment Programme" to find out.

Movies:

The complete Lord Stanley Fizzlebottom IV filmography, including, but not limited to: Tea And Strumpets, Big Ben, Long And Hard In Scotland Yard, Whorecester, Livertool, In Her Majesty's Secret Cervix, Secret Cervix 2: Fetish Intelligence, Member of Parliament, The Royal Sceptre, The Crown Jewels, Wet Sex In Wessex, Buxom Thames, Wet Spinster Abbey, Fuckingham Palace, Double Decker, London Booty Calling, and Queen Mum's Sex Confessions

Television:

"Talking Crap-The Complete Series" is now available to buy and own on DVD. Starring Amber Glaskin, Chen Lie, Dave Hat, Diane Beatty, and a gaggle of various zoo animals, this 548-episode collection spans 2 DVDs and includes never-before-seen outtakes, such as the time Chen wigged out .. fumes, and Amber's unfortunate slip into a "dolphin tank". Priced at $69.99 and available at all retail outlets. Makes a great St.Patrick's Day gift. Watch it with grandma!

Books:

Eight-year-old Paige and her younger brother Devin enjoy nothing more than exploring the vast, mountainous region beyond their backyard. One night, they linger past their bedtime and notice a shooting star land on the highest peak. When they go to investigate, they find themselves transported to the fantasy realm of Borealis. Now, their only chance to restore the Earth they know is to awaken the benevolent Moon Mage from his cryogenic stasis and make their wish to return home.

Heroes:

Zach "The Mack" Ryan and Adam "The A-Bomb" Dearing; Brian "So Cow" Kelly; Oh, and Mordecai Richler (the last honest man)

My Blog

The Canon of English Literature

Contemporary novelists, university professors from across the globe, and several other prominent figures from the world of English literature convened this past week in the Sheldonian T...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Wed, 22 Aug 2007 12:52:00 PST

The Most Offensive Sequel Ever Made

In the summer of 2003, at the behest of then Pope John Paul II, the CyberNetWorxxx© Corporation modified Vatican City to transform into an imposing automaton to strike fear into the hearts of non-Cath...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 10:15:00 PST

Contemplations on My Life

MY BIRTH (April 9, 1976) The traumatic circumstances surrounding my birth are among my earliest memories, and are at the crux of my later periods of descent into madness. The very first thing I r...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Sun, 19 Aug 2007 09:56:00 PST

Dave Hat's Yoga Teachings

The following is part of a series of Dave Hat's spiritual and New-Age healing philosophies, aimed at providing the reader with answers both definitive and rhetorical to important life questions, such ...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:17:00 PST

Dave Hat is Goin' to the Movies!

Hello. I hope y'all are digging the new background. I think it speaks volumes to my ever-growing fascination with all things pertaining to So Cow fandom. And really, who doesn't love them a bit o' So ...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 09:55:00 PST

My Toast at the Joshua Fishbein-Laura O'Brien Wedding Reception

Excuse me, excuse me...if I could have everybody's attention for a few moments. I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate the happy couple on taking the big plunge into the bonds of holy matri...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:10:00 PST

Action News at 6

The following is the former "Super Secret Blog", which I can now reveal. It was the script for my Future Stupid video, the first section of which was actually performed and filmed. I've inserted the n...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 07:01:00 PST

2007 G8 Summit in Germany

Well, Bono's been lured into a closet with pints of Guinness to prevent another Live 8 performance, which means that the G8 Summit has officially kicked off in Germany. All your favouri...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 06:39:00 PST

A Taste of So Cow

Hello. By now, most of the television-viewing populace of the UK has their grubby little mitts on a DVD set of The So Cow Saturday Morning Animated Entertainment Programme, which, as we are now all aw...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 03:05:00 PST

Wilde Eye for the Straight Guy

It is an undeniable truth that Irish author Oscar Wilde is considered one of the great figures of Victorian-era letters. The celebrated playwright, poet, and novelist was known not least of all f...
Posted by The Irrepressible Mr. Hat on Tue, 22 May 2007 09:13:00 PST