I, Gobot profile picture

I, Gobot

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

If anyone is reading this, you are in one of three groups of people. A) You already know me and want to see if I have anything witty to say about myself. B) You are a girl who thought my picture was cute and want to know if I like the same stuff as you or if I have kids or like kids, or if I have a girlfriend, or if I'm a republican or democrat, or if I have money or a future or something to offer. C) You are really, really bored and just honestly happen to be looking at my profile. Here's what I have for each of you: group A...the answer is no, until I become clever. Group B...single, decent job as a waiter, published author, no kids, 1 cat, 1 roommate, vote democrat, vegan, no car, really intense fetish for women in flowery bonnets, pretty good cook, no tattoos, lack of interest in sports, haunted by a constant feeling that the Statue of Liberty can shoot lasers and that I'm it's next target. Basically, just little old me! Nothing too special going on here. And as for you, group C...you're a little strange, to be honest.

My Interests

I like good ol' American stuff- guns, red meat, monster trucks, Taz, Jesus, bald eagles, anything and everything red white and blue (basically my whole wardrobe!), Bill O'reilly, bud light, and calenders that simultaneously feature sports cars, oiled-up women, and power tools. As soon as I save up enough money, I'm gonna get a tattoo of an eagle with taz's head carrying a monster truck in either talon, and then dropping them into Iraq, and then Bill O'reilly, George Bush and Tucker Carlson get out of the monster trucks with bazookas and machine guns and just start blasting the place up. Mission accomplished, LOL! I can't wait. I'm gonna dedicate it to my brother who's too much of a pussy liberal to understand what's really going on in the world, not what people like Bill Maher and Michael Moore brainwash all those hippies into believing is the truth. Note: There is a good chance this section was a satirical rant, solely meant to be ironic.

I'd like to meet:

Who cares. I have a cat.

Music:

sage francis/ non-prophets/ xaul zan, aesop rock, felt, rancid, voodoo glow skulls, eyedea and abilities, atmosphere, against all authority, brother ali, nofx, the slackers, 311, el-p, the aquabats, beastie boys, cannibal ox, mac lethal, leftover crack, INDK, dead kennedys, the specials, boards of canada, paul oakenfold, illogic, tiesto, propagandhi, 7 seconds, kid dynamite, screeching weasel, illmaculate, the saurus, choking victim, youth brigade, warzone, murs, etc.

Movies:

final fantasy: advent children, zeitgeist, fargo, the royal tennenbaums, wet hot american summer, fight club, high fidelity, the big lebowski, the goonies, mulholland drive, the exorcist, city of lost children, half baked, amalie, donnie darko, kill bill, monty python and the holy grail, 300, anchorman, sean of the dead

Television:

curb your enthusiasm, seinfeld, heroes, da ali g show, aqua teen hunger force, the office, dexter, futurama

Books:

invisible monsters, filth, 1984, brave new world, lord of the rings (for the record, i read them BEFORE the movies...wait, does that make me cool or not?), rant, the green mile, survivor, the zombie survival guide. http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/shopdisplayproducts.a sp?Search=Yes This is my book I wrote. May as well buy it since you're here.

Heroes:

sage francis, larry david, bill mahr, gary larson, chuck palahniuk, and whoever was responsible for inventing blinking, gummy worms, and street fighter.

My Blog

Let the new book begin!

I decided I'm sick of waiting to hear responses from literary agents and distrubutors regarding Yawning With Style. I want to get back to doing the part about authoring I enjoy- it goes without saying...
Posted by I, Gobot on Thu, 29 May 2008 10:16:00 PST

Some irrelevant updates

This is just a quick little update in my life for those of you I haven't talked to in a while (and happen to care to know). I have a few anecdotes to share.First off, I think I found a new hobby: fake...
Posted by I, Gobot on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:02:00 PST

Colorful customers

For the first time in my life, I thought I was the victim of a hidden camera show. If you’ve been unfortunate enough to see "Women Behaving Badly", you would know how I felt. I had 3 women sit d...
Posted by I, Gobot on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 02:11:00 PST

childhood movies

I was trying to think of this one movie I used to watch as a kid. I can only remember certain parts though. There was this kid who's little brother got kidnapped by these bird creatures. These creatur...
Posted by I, Gobot on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:19:00 PST

Something I didn’t expect to do today

This is gonna be a little gross and very inappropriate. If you don't like either, don't read it. But it's funny as hell.So about a month ago, I was woken up by my cat in a very unpleasant way. I heard...
Posted by I, Gobot on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:05:00 PST

I’m not letting this go.

zeitgeist.I've posted this once before, And nobody really took much interest. I watched this movie again a few nights ago, and I'm all riled up again. So please, watch this, and don't call me crazy. J...
Posted by I, Gobot on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:46:00 PST

An almond joy of a blog.

This is 2 parts, but theyre both short and sweet. This blog is the almond joy of blogs.Part 1: Seventies fetishI was looking at a clip of an old Tv show last night from what I believe was the 70's. I ...
Posted by I, Gobot on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:50:00 PST

Update- good news!

So, I'm just in complete disbelief. I wrote that letter to the company about the cover, and the guy wrote me back saying "Thank you. You will find attached the new cover". I thought, "Oh shit, what's ...
Posted by I, Gobot on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 07:02:00 PST

That sick feeling you get...

...when your publishing company sends you what they think would be a better idea for a cover on your book that you illustrated. And you HATE it because it looks thrown together from public domain phot...
Posted by I, Gobot on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:42:00 PST

A subject is irrelevant

Just wanted to share this hypothetical situation that came up the other night. Someone was asking me how well one of my gamecube controllers worked the other night before using it, and I said "Oh, it'...
Posted by I, Gobot on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:34:00 PST