Marcus profile picture

Marcus

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on

About Me

I have a girlfriend and I love her.
Please respect our relationship and don't hit on me.

Physiology major at UCSB
Way too smart to act this dumb
Makes it through life on luck
Biggest vice is simple pleasures
My oceanside view is better than yours

Don't be afraid to message me...
I almost always reply to EVERYONE
even the fat, stupid, and ugly

Advice for all the boys:
"It's not looks or style, it's all about how you make her feel."
--Me

What I Like:
huggles
accents
Sizzler
partying til 5am
text and myspace messages
lots of undeserved attention
My oceanside house on Del Playa

and of course this thing


What I Hate:
Flakes
Heartbreak
Writing about me's
talking on the phone
Being ignored
girls+bicycles+cell phones=I hate you

My Interests

cars
music
movies
snowboarding
pharmaceuticals

I'd like to meet:


I've already found her and she's everything I ever wanted
She's smart, funny, sincere,
and more beautiful than words can express.
This girl is my life and I hope she will remain a part of it for the rest of mine.

Reasons You Might Be Denied:
*you are 16

*you live in timbuckfuckintoo

*you have a cartoon as your main pic

*you are a band

*bro-ho

*YoU tYpE LiKe ThIs

*you didn't read this

Learn the difference between you're and your.



P.S. I don't add randoms. Everyone on my list I've either met, or have intentions of meeting. If you are boring, ugly, or have no plans of ever coming to California, we will not be friends. If you meet any or all of the above qualities, please be informed, I WILL tear you a new asshole just for kicks.

To all the rest: Message me before you add me!

Books:

The only 2 books I ever enjoyed were Dogwalker and Shiloh.
unless you count textbooks.
Bio text books are rad.
I read this shit for fun.

My Blog

URGENT: Read this before you click that add button

To all you pathetic little kids. I can be an asshole.  This is your warning... But if you follow my directions, I will not push you into suicide.  I'll actually be quite nice and friendly. I...
Posted by Captain Marcus® from The Pirate House on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 05:23:00 PST

Hilariousness by Jack Handey

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song. Once while walking through the mall a guy...
Posted by Captain Marcus® from The Pirate House on Sun, 28 May 2006 10:24:00 PST

slackers do it best

calculus. never went to class never did my hw learned an entire course in 6 hours the night before over slept day of the final. showed up to the final an hour late still finished an ...
Posted by Captain Marcus® from The Pirate House on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

history of marcus

So many people must be wondering where the hell I came from and how I popped up here. Well, maybe nobody cared...... but after reading this you fuckers will know anyway.Kindergarten- Developed my firs...
Posted by Captain Marcus® from The Pirate House on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST