Well, I like my Kira black, just like my metal...
WELCOME TO THE RIDICULOUS SHIT I'VE SAID RECENTLY SECTION!!!
Me (yelling at the cooks at work): "Stop making bird noises!!! This is not a birdararium!!!
Mish: You mean an AVIARY...?"
(Making up awful pick up lines to use on the new employee at work) "Hey there cheese fry, I'd like to dip YOU in ranch and smear you all over my face..."
Me: "Can I help anybody with anything?"
My Boss: "I could use a pair of rubber gloves and a nine."
Me: "Like a nine iron? I don't golf..."
"Sometimes if I stick my head in the ice machine I think about California."
"Tonight was by far the most lucrative ass-raping I've ever had!"
"How many trees are you wearing right now???
"I hate it when people with bad grammar try and seduce me with words. I'm not going to get turned on by comma splices."
"No, I swear I'm really really nice. I just don't, like, throw biscuits at people or anything..."
(At Club Vegas) Leah: "You better bring a helmet and referee shirt tomorrow!"
Me: "Why, is it going to rain again?"
(At Dee's) Zach: "I just can't eat any type of eggs now...I can't even eat anything with eggs in it..."
Me: "So you can't eat cheese???"
"I don't know if I'm hungover or tired or have been partying too much or what...but I'm fucking hungover..."
(On an instant message at work) Me: "This is ridiculous...I feel like I'm kicking a fish!
Chad: WTF!?!
Mindy: "I'm going for the naughty librarian look..." Me: "I'm going for the naughty lobster look..."
"What month are YOU in? Jupiter?"
"Stop laughing it makes me blind!!!"
"Things that hurt just don't...feel good."
"Just because she apologized for being a cock-juggling thundercunt for a significant portion of my life does not mean she's automatically qualified to be mini-me."
"My teeth hurt, ::shows teeth:: see?"
Chad: "Where do you come up with this shit?"
Me: "I'm amazing, that's where."
"Depending on the time, I'll call you. Or I won't."
"THIS DOESN'T TASTE LIKE EASTER!"
"I've disinfected that bathroom so much; When you sit on the toilet it will probably clean you."
"I'm SO sorry I forgot to text you! I got sidetracked by a can of tuna fish..."
"I'm pretty sure the world is coming to an end. I just ran out of Q-tips."
"Utah people don't know how to drive, especially when I'm drunk."
"I will love you for the rest of my life...I'm killing myself tomorrow."
"I don't know what happened. I went upstairs for paper towels and came back down with Ritz crackers..."
"If you're standing right by the door, how will you know when people come in? You can't hear the doorbell!"
(At Red Lobster after taking forever to eat my crab legs): "I'm sorry guys, but I'm a slow cracker!"
I'M SURE I'LL SAY MUCH MORE RIDICULOUS SHIT IN THE NEAR FUTURE. KEEP A LOOK OUT...I HAVE BLONDE MOMENTS ALL THE TIME!
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 66%
Stability |||| 16%
Orderliness |||||||||| 40%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||||||| 56%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||| 50%
Artistic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Religious |||| 16%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Materialism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Work ethic |||||||||| 36%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 63%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 63%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43%
Wealth |||||||||||||| 56%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||| 43%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 70%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||| 24%
Histrionic |||||||||||||| 56%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 70% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Anyone that's not lame. A tall guy that ISN'T an asshole (If that's even possible). People who do what they say they're going to do. Local musicians. Stuff like that.
*If YOU send ME a friend request and I accept you, you should probably make an effort to ACTUALLY talk to me or you will be deleted within days*
P.S. I'm a grammar nazi. When attempting to converse with me, try and keep your stupidity level in check. I'm not a fan of idiots. :)
Who YOU'D like to meet:
HYPNOGAJA!
Hypnogaja (HIP-NO-GAH-JAH):
Derived from the term hypnagogia, the deeply relaxed state of consciousness between wakefulness and sleep, recognized for hundreds of years as a source of creative thought and intuition by a long list of distinguished philosophers, artists and scientists, including Aristotle and Einstein.
An understanding of the name brings a deeper understanding of the music (which is PHENOMENAL, by the way). These 5 men are amazing people, amazing musicians, and amazing friends to have. Never in my life has music touched me in the way theirs does.
My life revolves around Music...Heavy metal to be exact. While working at shows, I get to meet many musicians, and most of them are pretty awesome. I love it, and wouldn't trade it for a thing.
...and yes, we know we're silly.
I like a wide variety of movies, but my favorites are American History X, Boondock Saints, Love Actually, and all of the Harry Potter movies.
Please don't tell me I am a geek. I am fully aware of it...
I don't really watch TV. If I do, it's Law and Order SVU or it's some show on plastic surgery.
I like to read anything that will grab my attention right off the bat.
The ones who are there for me through thick and thin, the ones who make you happy just by being near them. The following are those people (or animals!) in my life...
~ MY MOMMY ~
...'nuff said.
~ KIRA ~
In my eyes, this girl is the definition of perfection. This roommate and best friend.
We're close...
...VERY close. lol
*We don't remember taking this picture*
~ KANE ~
I love him so much!
We are SO CUTE!
He's a punk...
...or IS he?
He really LOVES having his picture taken...lol
~ SUSHI ~
Okay, so it's not really my HERO, but It qualifies as an animal that makes me happy by being around it, right? lol...whatever, I love it anyway. :P