Douchie F Baby!!

R.I.P. Steve Irwin, crikey...
I could very well be God's gift to earth. I hang out with the sexiest people (me and myself). I feel bad for boyfriends, cuz they can't bring their girls around me, no sssssir! I now realize girls were put on this earth for one reason. And yes, I do have the power to make any girl fall in love with me. Everyday, I look in the mirror, flex, and think, "Goodness gracious, your body is bodacious. I'd hit it... I'd definately hit it". Look, I don't know how to put this, but, I'm kind of a big deal. I'm not cocky, I'm just honest...
I am also part of an elite group of single sexy mother fuckers, that is of course the "Dream Team", consisting of:
#1: Me, aka Douchie, the cutie, I have the charm of 10 Jude Laws and 3 Peirce Brosnans. I am the man with crazy stories to show my wild side. I also have the uncanny ability to quote Anchorman better than Will Ferrell himself. I can funnel a beer faster than you can say manhattan as seen below. Intelligent, witty, and very flirtatious, I'm like a magnet for the ladies. After conversation has been initiated I seal the deal.
#2 Albert Cuccinello, aka Bert, the hottie, great at striking up a conversation. he's got the balls to call anyone beautiful. girls faint over his confidence, and being a singer and frontman of any band he wishes. when they drive in his fly whip at incredible speeds not only does it make their hearts pound, but their panties drenched. master of colognes and perfumes, this is all that is needed to impress anyone.
#3 Brandon Roa, aka Brando, the buff, status: retired
#4 Chris Nuegroschel, aka Tis Noog, The veteran, status: retired
#5 Nick Ianetti, aka Metalhead Nick, The all american, this man has long flowing beautiful locks to prove that no man needs short hair to be a real one. With his lightning-quick fingers on his guitar, ladies dream of what they can do to them. His all-american mustang is full of power, the perfect thing to reflect a man of his stature.
#6 Adam Eriksson, aka Adam from Chatham, The confident, this man doesn't think it... he knows he's perfect. All other men ponder of what pimp skills he has because lets face it, most of us can't count the amount of ladies he's "bagged and gagged". And with a move called "The swipe", he'll steal the hairband right off a girl's head without her even knowing.
#7 Robert Bednarick, aka le wubbie, The smooth, status: retired
pretty fast i guess
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THATS MY BOY AND A WHOLE PINT OF SOCO!!!!!!!!!!
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R.I.P little douchie
Cannibal girl, you've been eatin' me alive...
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