Hells Bells - ProfilesArchive

About Me

my daily struggle is with my former hippie hearted optimism & the harsh reality of shallow cynicism the world's cruel ironies have thrust upon me. My innocence is scratching & crawling out of the dank of my experiences, to rise kind-heartedly above the frailty of life & it's despair. The beauty is an uphill battle that has no choice but to prevail. I see in black & white, run hot & cold, & always have a little hate with my love; b/c of this, the question "who i am," could never be more grey. I lust for life while resenting it's apathetic rejection; i burn for love & fuel only out of control fires; I've been the victim only to rage & create victims of my own. i am an unsuspected voluntary sociopath, & the most self-indulgent, self-degrading ego-manic that ever lived. E.G. I walk down the streets like a ghost, supported on the souls of nieve girls that fall so far from where hopes began, i can now freely stomp about weightless above them, their disappointments heavier than my emptiness now reside between me & the ground. Broken hearts keep me elevated still, above earthly ignorance & mortal shame just to live long enough so I can pass my regrets down the line & procreate a misery unrivaled by the monstrosities the world has seen today. If i'm lucky i'll birth an investment banker who will still speak to me after i've aged. I love my morbid lucidity & am laughing at my emotional obscenity. & maybe, just maybe I'm not fucking serious at all!

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Anime-punk princess

My Interests

Art & technology. I love the tangibility playing with paint, wood & other sculpting materials lends to the literal process of creating; the body experimenting with it's own functions & resources to bring an idea to life in reality at the exact moment it's being born in the mind. But technology supersedes how well our physical abilities can mimic the indefinable visions from our imaginations. Creativity is constantly focused practically just to find more ways to do our crazy-ass fantasies justice. I love how the worlds are often separate stigmas to one another, but are really symbiotic in each other's development; there just isn't an end to one's contribution to the other. So I'm interested in anything that could be considered art, & all technology to get it there;) Now tell me a dick joke!:P

I'd like to meet:

The loved ones I've lost. John Cage, Lewis Carroll, Buddicca, Buddah, Jesus, Plato, Baz Lurman, lol, I dunno! Just way too many to choose from. I'm happy to meet a wise soul with something to share, they don't have to be famous, just meaningful. Someone with passion for humanity, & the inspiration to constantly explore it for as long as we both shall live...!

Music:

I usually find something I can appreciate in almost any music that is a quality representation of it's genre. But I can't listen to any one genre for lengths at a time, & for that matter, love experimental music being that I want to make sound art, audio abstract & narrative... classic rock, modern instrumental jam band, jazz, the sound of live instruments in general and/or mixed with synthetic accompaniment; you can tell from my B.G. I like Radiohead- techno, house & industrial, hip-hop, tricky, sneaker pimps, old tool, fuel, godsmack, bad religion, against me, cocorosie, joanna newsome, ani difranco, siouxsie- i am a chick for christ sake! african tribal, folk banjo recordings from the turn of the century midwest- c'mon, just play me something! it'd be easier to list what I don't like- or would it? I'm trying to make music recording my life, i don't care what kind it is as long as it has a spirit & i get to be apart of it, i can't complain~

Movies:

As a former film major FUCK THIS SECTION!!!!! by god these paragraph spaces are pointless!

Television:

Just learning again: Office? yay! Cartoon network? sometimes, was better a couple years ago... Stand-up ALWAYS!!!... wow, i'm finally silenced___!

Books:

I'm reading it john, & YOU ROCK!

Heroes:

Those in my life who have been kind to me.

jem and the holograms theme song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgzZ2Ta0EpA

She-Ra opening
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quzY7ONePM4

My Blog

what reasons do u want a guy to like u?

I want my boy to like me for the choices that I make, the things that I hold firm to do or not do. I want someone to like me for the goofy, geeky, uncool things that I do or say or think are funny, I ...
Posted by Hells Bells on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:15:00 PST

10 mins to 5months...

I walk around with this underlying feeling of almost wanting to cry-like I could at any moment if I just would. It's a small strain on my heart, but feels like if my chest were to give a good heave it...
Posted by Hells Bells on Tue, 16 Sep 2008 01:07:00 PST

i want that

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yPNxEOhZP0 ...
Posted by Hells Bells on Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:34:00 PST

failure is not an option

we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender-neither will i...
Posted by Hells Bells on Mon, 15 Sep 2008 04:38:00 PST

going, going, gone...

Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone.For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own.Sing, and the hills will answer; Sigh, it is lost on th...
Posted by Hells Bells on Mon, 08 Sep 2008 11:00:00 PST

Mercs 2 Ad Oh No You Didn't Full Song -- Making of Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCvIw7DMHXc ...
Posted by Hells Bells on Mon, 01 Sep 2008 03:48:00 PST

what’s right...

why does the rain only pour...how do you go through with something hearing the thoughts "i CAN'T do this," echoing repeatedly in your head the whole time? how can i?...worlds of regret threaten my dec...
Posted by Hells Bells on Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:31:00 PST

i’m fine, really

i'm just sitting here torturing myself over adam being gone. it starts with good intentions, i just want to see his face, read his thoughts-they make me cry laughing even now. i miss him so much i usu...
Posted by Hells Bells on Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:02:00 PST

mine!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ezxlKaY0Y0 ...
Posted by Hells Bells on Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:01:00 PST

Venus de Milo

i slowly spin my ring around my middle finger on my left hand. it's a simple piece of silver a bit too reminiscent of a wedding band, but probably also b/c a fast glance can mistake it for sitting on ...
Posted by Hells Bells on Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:08:00 PST