"Allison 2" profile picture

"Allison 2"

I am here for Friends

About Me

Well I'm out, this is me. But that doesn't mean I don't still want this as a more intimate area of expressing myself. I continually go through ups and downs and I really want to get in the habbit of expressing how I feel while I'm feeling it so maybe I can catch onto some of my own patterns if there are any and learn how to pull myself up before I fall down too far.

My Interests

I am interested in things pleasing to the senses... and even more interested in why some of of them are more appealing then others in different times of my life. I love history, hearing the tales of things from the past how they developed into what they are today. People are very interesting to me, I think they are to everyone. I have talked to so many who think they have people all figured out but ultimately I don't think any one does, I don't think most of us even have ourselves figured out. I love plants, their silent beauty has been so soothing to me in the past, I would like to learn how to care for them and have my own garden some day. I used to paint and draw but haven't in a long time. I think that what I am the most interested in is finding a happy balance in my life, try to figuer out what I'm really good at and maybe a couple of things that I have alot of passion for and cultivate them into something beautiful that I can be proud of.

I'd like to meet:

Maybe no one, maybe you, I'm hoping that someone might be able to give me some encouragement or insight on how to feel better about being alive. This space is for my private feelings that I am too affraid to share with people as myself. I have on occassion when I was very drunk or very emotional, and they always come out incomplete. I am hoping that I can comunicate freely here without the worries that people will dislike me for the negativity that eats away at my brain.

Music:

I like it best when I'm listening to it on a record. There is a certain slightly scratchy weird sound that records give to music that I love. I really love old music, old jazz with female singers, my favorite jazz singer so far being Billie Holiday. I wish I knew someone into jazz so they could show me more. I like the blues, and I even like some old country, Patsy Cline is one of my favorite singers of all time. There are many female vocalists that I like and I think it's because I love to sing. I like to put their music on, sing along and pretend that I am them in front of a crowd singing. I also like many other bands and musicians but just throwing them in a list doesn't give them justice.

Movies:

I wish sometimes that I could live another life and spend it simply watching every single movie ever made. Watching them makes me feel like I am living them and they are always so much more romantic, passionate, exciting, dramatic, or scary then normal life.

Television:

Documentories, especially history, and every now and again some cheesy comedy show.

Books:

I have a hard time getting myself to sit down and read a book, I always like it when I do, but I read very slow so I have read very few in my life. I read comic books a little more often.

Heroes:

Maybe You...

My Blog

Insiring Lyrics

JOAN LYRICS by: Erasure album: Chorus Power generation You live up your life and it feels like fire Suspended in animation A trick of the light and it drives you higher Blind vision blind faith You r...
Posted by "Allison 2" on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Friday night I couldn't sleep...

This is what was on my mind. It's strange how I can desire so many things feeling that if I got these things that I would be content. Especially when I know in my heart that contentment can on...
Posted by "Allison 2" on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Unfinished poem/song

My pages are empty with fears hiding what beauty can put into song My eyes become blinded by mirrors fighting a will that I loved all along Too long have I strolled down "Coward's Way" I real...
Posted by "Allison 2" on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

8/8/04

If I hide will you seek me under the stars? 'Cause I lost myself hiding from you. Too busy making lists of who I want to be to remember who I am when I'm not bad... just dist...
Posted by "Allison 2" on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Revisiting old issues.

Until the shadows intervene and come between what seemed to be so clear. How can I know that youre kind? Im so blind to whats behind the mask you dont wear. Do you ever feel like you r...
Posted by "Allison 2" on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Great Observation

A fellow friend sent me this and I hope they do not mind that I put it on my journal, but I think she puts her point across well in what she says here... "I don't know if I can be encouraging to you...
Posted by "Allison 2" on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST