Dave profile picture

Dave

GREAT HORNY TOADS!!!

About Me

There's a lot crammed into this little place, and fortunately, I know where everything is kept. Welcome to the world of Dave. Everything and everyone is here for a reason. That reason, however, is not to impress anyone. 'Round here, being cool by today's standards is worth about as much as Confederate money. I put a high value on true love, hard work, honesty and unbridled passion for everything held dear. I am obsessive and meticulous. I'm fussy and restless. I'm terribly silly, but have been accused of being too serious. For some reason, I think bad food is funny. I hate children. I love cats and roosters. I never lie, because I don't have to. I hate television, but will spend hours trying to find something to watch. I can remember useless events and factoids to the most minute detail. My bowling ball smells like cherries...IT REALLY DOES! Again, why would I lie?

My Interests

Records, reverb, guitars (especially Silvertone/Harmony/Kay), bitchy cats, rollerderby, cockfights, hot dogs, boots, mass hysteria, film noir, Carta Blanca (32oz bottle), agua fresca, pinball, all things Mexican (food, music, movies, etc.!), old knives, Thailand, fried food, vigilante justice, accordians, exact change, border incidents, firecrackers and lunchmeat.

I'd like to meet:

A day rarely goes by without me cursing this website. I stay here, because I keep reconnecting with friends from the past. So far, no one has tried to blackmail me with incriminating tidbits from my younger days. Remember: with no DNA evidence, you have no case. I also like to stay in contact with those of you who are too stingy with your calling minutes. You know who you are! Here's who I DON'T want to meet: Sluts, hipsters, bad bands and Myspace friend collectors. If you request my friendship, please leave an accompanying message. Tell me why you want me as your friend. I seek out the profiles of the bands I like. IF YOU ARE A BAND, DO NOT REQUEST MY FRIENDSHIP UNLESS I KNOW YOU! Don't try to sell me anything, cuz I ain't buying. READ THIS: I AM GETTING ABOUT 60 FAKE FRIEND REQUESTS PER DAY. I'M NOT EXAGGERATING! IF I DON'T KNOW YOU, AND YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR FRIEND, SEND AN ACCOMPANYING MESSAGE OR I WILL EITHER DENY YOU OR REPORT YOU AS SPAM. I'M NOT BEING A DICK. I DON'T HAVE A FUCKIN' HOUR A DAY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S WHAT. I ALSO DON'T WANT MY COMPUTER HACKED OR INFECTED BY CLICKING ON SOME FAKE B.S. THANK YOU!

Music:

Music is my soul, so there's way too much to list. To sum it up briefly...songs about drinkin', cheatin', killin', jealousy, reaping what you sow, tearin' someone's playhouse down, mules kickin' in other mule's stalls, and Jesus hitting like the atomic bomb. Since you asked... Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, anything recorded on Sun Records, Tom Waits, Springsteen, Nick Cave, Lightnin' Hopkins, The Clash, Joe Ely, Elmore James, Louis Jordan, Bo Diddley, Blind Boys of Alabama (and Mississippi for that matter!), everyone who recorded on Excello Records (Slim Harpo, Lazy Lester, Silas Hogan, etc.), Boozoo Chavis, Clifton Chenier, Little Walter, T-Bone Walker, Flaco Jiminez, Patty Griffin, Tift Merritt, Ryan Adams, Son Volt, Sixteen Horsepower, New York Dolls + Johnny Thunders, Dead Boys, Ramones, Link Wray, Iggy, Hanoi Rocks, and so much more. I'm a huge record geek. I'm pretty sure that I think your band sucks, so don't hit me up.

Movies:

Blue Velvet and ANYTHING by David Lynch, Kill Bill 1-2, The El Mariachi Trilogy! L.A. Confidential, Sin City, The Man Who Wasn't There, Touch of Evil, Sling Blade, Cool Hand Luke, The Girl Can't Help It, This Boy's Life, Cry Baby, The Reflecting Skin, Faster Pussycat and anything by Russ Meyer, Anything withRobert DeNiro, Humphrey Bogart/Lauren Bacall, Dennis Hopper or Veronica Lake, John Waters films, Film Noir, Santo movies, Juvenile Delinquent films, cheezy monster & horror flicks. Bascially, the cheezier the better.

Television:

Austin City Limits, Top Chef, The First 48, Andy Griffith Show (B/W years), Dragnet (B/W years), Car 54 Where Are You?, Hogan's Heroes, old cartoons (Tex Avery, Looney Tunes, etc.), Forensics Files, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Seinfeld and NEWS! I'm a huge news junkie. MSNBC is almost always on. For some reason, Bill Moyers comes on in the wee wee hours. If I'm up, I'll watch him, and BBC World News.

Books:

Anything by James Ellroy, anything on the Black Dahlia murder, true crime, "The Greatest Generation" by Tom Brokaw, anything on WWII or Nazi Germany, music bios, Tashen books (except "Tom of Finland") for their eye candy. I love coffee table books. I need more coffee tables for all of them.

Heroes:

There is truly something to be said for people who change the world for the better, or inspire us. Sadly, they are all slobs like the rest of us. No pedestals for anyone here.

My Blog

The Conversation

I'm on a plane.  Can't remember where I was going.....Seattle to Florida I think.  I hate airplanes.  If that fucker blows up or goes down, I'm dying with the most disgusting people you...
Posted by Dave on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:08:00 PST

Kids and Why I Fucking HATE Them!

I just deleted this huge tyrade about awful kids and their awful parents.  I broke it down by the different types of parents and what makes them all uniquely annoying.  For some reason, my c...
Posted by Dave on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 09:01:00 PST

Apparently...

1) An okapi lives above my ceiling.2) Little men act ballsy via email.3) Mountain lions hate to be jabbed in the head with a log, but don't mind being poked in the eye with a pen.4) That guy on the ME...
Posted by Dave on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:57:00 PST

Operation!

From about 1974 until about 1980, I asked for the game OPERATION for Christmas.  I never got it.  Here it is 2006, and I FINALLY get it....from my girlfriend's grandparents, who never met me...
Posted by Dave on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 12:16:00 PST

TOM WAITS!?!

It has been a great two weeks for Tom Waits fans-a new 3 CD set chock full o' wonderful Waitsisms and whatnot, and a few great TV appearances.  I finally got to see his performance on Letterman, ...
Posted by Dave on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 11:37:00 PST

This Little Girl's Gone Rockin'!

Legendary R&B singer Ruth Brown died.  There was a great article in the New York Times about her.  Google her!  She was amazing, and rocked it until the very end.  Dig it!...
Posted by Dave on Sat, 18 Nov 2006 10:50:00 PST

YOUR SHITTY BAND SUCKS!!!

Every goddamn day, I get on here and I have 4 or 5 requests from these shithole bands that 1) I've never heard of.  That doesn't mean too much, cuz as you know...I don't know everything.  2...
Posted by Dave on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:22:00 PST

I FUCKING KNOW IT'S NOT RITCHIE VALENS!!!

In case any of you get all in a huff, cuz it credits Ritchie Valens as the artist of "Sleepwalk" on my profile...piss off...cuz I know it's not Ritchie Valens.  It's a great song, and I'll take i...
Posted by Dave on Tue, 11 Jul 2006 11:43:00 PST

Okay, Okay!

It has been brought to my attention that I have not posted a blog in almost two years.  Something tells me that you are probably not lining up to read my next manifesto on TV news, an ode to Fun-...
Posted by Dave on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 11:36:00 PST

Movie Star Davey

A few months back, when I had a job, I was interviewed several times on camera for a documentary on the future of music retail in Austin, TX. I got a postcard from one of its creators today. It's ab...
Posted by Dave on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST