that Craig guy - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hmmmmm. What falls under the catagory of "I am".
Well, I write stuff to get it out of my head and earn a living, I practice Reiki (want some? lemme know), I create, I play a loud and sloppy drum set, I have some wanderlust in me and when I have time will vanish for a few days, I get along with kids and animals quite well, I eat quickly, I am in a near-perpetual state of amusement, saying the words "soft voluminous stool" is always funny, I spit off of bridges and rooftops, I listen to music that squeezes me right there (styles tend to lean towards stuff what rocks), beautifully flawed, I politely yell, I have no drive to be the best TV weatherman ever, I do what is fun, I believe fireworks are always appropriate, I don't need to know who's dating who, I honestly don't understand celebrity worship, I like beer and gin for my alcoholic drinks of choice (and some whiskey shots sometimes) and just about anything else for the "non", I currently don't play poker, if I've got nothing to say............, I don't have "a jam", I have always been here before, I have started the back piece, I chuck rocks into bodies of water, I don't smoke anymore but miss the Hell out of it sometimes, I've got about 6 or 7 books written and am hunting the elusive "publisher or agent who would take a chance", I likes me some brownies, I dig the sound of breaking glass, I don't particularly like shaving, I'm learning and unlearning all the time, I still laugh when I see people picking up their dogs fresh, hot poop in little plastic bags, I enjoy traveling at high speeds on a bike through traffic, I have received many a concussion, I like me some abandoned buildings/factories/asylums, I poke at stuff with sticks, I bleed once a day w/out trying, prajna....you gotta love it, I cook good, I eat the spicey food, I rock, two words......party cake ice cream, I live near the tiniest post office ever made by humans ever, I've done the drugs I need to do, I get along with cheese quite nicely and I also don't mind when most things happen.
Want to know anything else? Ask me. I'll probably tell you.
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
I'm just sayin'.

My Interests

Lots o' stuff....well, pretty much everything. Good...bad...pretty...ugly, whatever you want to call it, it all works.

As of this date:
I made friends with a one year-old. I was told we're buddies by his parents because the little guy climbed up on my lap and head butted me for about 20 minutes.
That's too cool. I'm just sayin'.

I'd like to meet:

Thems what have an idea.......or not.
And add to that, I wouldn't mind having a drink with The Dalai Lama, the Dali Llama, Gahan Wilson, Art Clokey, Robert Williams, Steve Buscemi, Charo, Sorrel Booke, Powdered Toast Man, Babe the talking pig, Waylon and Willie, Thurman Munson, Rumi, Gordon Banks, my great grandfather on my Mom's side (the crazy one who killed a horse with an axe), some Scottish ancestors and their ferry business, a troll, Tony Alva, Carol Burnett, Steve Olson, Ruth Buzzi, Jesus, the girl I was engaged to in nursery school, Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse, The Incredible Hulk, that guy who stood in front of and stopped that line of tanks when Tiennemen Square got crushed, Jigaro Kano, a coelocanth, Ekhart Tolle, Lon Chaney, Cactus Jack, Betty Crocker, Jimi Hendrix, Ed Wood, the entire Muppet Show cast, the Stanley Cup, Harriet The Spy (today when she's all grow-ed up), whoever made the first cheese-steak, the inventor of M&M's, my Dad as a young thug, Bigfoot, all of your imaginary friends ('cause hey, I still got mine), Hasil Adkins, Clint Howard, the witches of Salem, P.T. Barnum, Sonny Barger, Lenny Bruce, your Mom (drunk), Bob Marley, Don Rickles, Mother Teresa, Lau Tzu, whoever it was who watched a bird push an egg out of it's backside and then decided it would be a good thing to eat (or scramble), .......some more might be added if and when they fall outta my head.

Music:

Some stuff I like, some stuff I don't. And yup....I still listen to a lot of the same type of music I did when I was a kid.
Plus, lots of newer stuff.

Movies:

Too much to list.....see "Music" above. But I lean towards the grade Z, psychotronic films. So I guess that covers a lot of horror, blaxploitation, giant Japanese monster films, womens prison flicks and Santo just to name a few.

Television:

I have limited access to TV channels. But "No Reservations" on that Travel Channel, cooking shows, MMA fights, stuff what makes me laugh, "The Fucktards", I dunno. It varies.

Books:

My own- one of 'em is partially up here at this old site - and very soon you can read and purchase all kinds of swag here. Other books will be out come Springtime so buy some NOW before I die and THEN get popular so you can say, "Oh, I've got an original from him.").
Or taste some more self-published book promotion here and follow the same actions as above. And now there's T-shirts to buy along with the books.
Books that don't involve me? Well, there's Harriet The Spy, Tolle, Chick religious comics, some Crew, Gorey, Charles Addams, Gahan Wilson, history stuff, reference books, magazines of all flavors, lots of cook books, bags of spiritual things.....shit, I dunno. Tons of stuff, okay?

Heroes:

Um...I'll put some pics in here later.

My Blog

Stuff what sprang up from the ether.

I don't have much of an attachment to my past anymore. Be it because of past drug usage and enormous alcohol consumption, invisible brain tumors, daily meditations, a combination of any of those facto...
Posted by that Craig guy on Mon, 12 May 2008 08:59:00 PST

Why You Should ALWAYS.....

.....feed your kids friends. Many a year back when I was deeply entrenched in the trials of grammer school, there was a weekend event that was only rivaled by the afterschool inquery of "Wanna ri...
Posted by that Craig guy on Mon, 07 Jan 2008 09:09:00 PST

Top 10....

.....New Years resolutions that I'm gonna start for the aught-8. 1) Gain as much weight as possible in my neck by becoming half bulemic.2) Start smoking. But just crack.3) Daily midget punching.4) Onl...
Posted by that Craig guy on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 02:31:00 PST

The greatest story heard in a while.

Plus, a lead on a possible date!Um.......just kidding on the date thing.......maybe. A co-worker of mine..... * We'll call her Nicole 'cause that's what her parents named her and that's wh...
Posted by that Craig guy on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 02:18:00 PST

Maybe a helmet........

......or a front brake. I pierced my ear a few times close to 20 years ago. It was at a girlfriends house and it was an act that pretty much soildified her parents dislike for me.The hoops I jabb...
Posted by that Craig guy on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:39:00 PST

Top 12 Models.........

.........of automobiles that weren't green lighted. 1) Dodge Fuck-a-Noma2) Mitsubishi Lesion3) Ford Fart Knocker4) Toyota Klansman5) Jaguar Labia XK-E6) Chevy Crap Box7) GMC Cunt Lapper8) Volkswagen S...
Posted by that Craig guy on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 04:22:00 PST

Top 13 Things........

.....that may sound dirty when you first hear them. 1) Trimming the infield.2) "The Hudsucker Proxy".3) Hitting the mogul run at Sugarbush.4) Doing shots with Uncle Benny.5) Hiking the canal trail.6) ...
Posted by that Craig guy on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 07:34:00 PST

Top 14 Styles.......

......of beer that Budweiser never pushed through the idea stage. 1) BUD Dry Scrote2) Beard Filtered BUD3) Dirty Blood BUD4) BUD Mint5) BUD Chunks6) BUD Ear Wax Lite7) Fecal BUD8) BUD Purge9) S...
Posted by that Craig guy on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 10:23:00 PST

School Time Highlights.

I just recently attended a high school reunion. * Yes, it was mine and the number of it was the 20th. * I knew it would be a metric shit-ton of "woo-HAH!" months before it was ...
Posted by that Craig guy on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:17:00 PST

Top 11 Titles......

......of Harry Potter books NOT being released. 1) Harry Potter and the Fiesty Blue Colon2) Harry Potter and the Passable Tranny Hustler3) Harry Potter and 9 Big Tits4) Harry Potter and the Unrealsed ...
Posted by that Craig guy on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 10:47:00 PST