Justin profile picture

Justin

The most offensive person you'll ever love.

About Me

My mouth is a stream of non-stop profanities and insults, including rape, abortion, sexuality, religious beliefs, political beliefs and cultural beliefs. Engage in conversation at your own risk, as I may turn into an internet wolverine and claw out your eyes.
Your Animal Personality
Your Power Animal: Eagle

Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale

You are active, a challenger, and optimistic.
Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal. The Animal Personality Test

My Interests

Real life, World of Warcraft, DDR, Chrono Cross, Chrono Trigger, Pen and Paper Role-playing, slaying a thousand orphans on top of a giant temple with canals designed to channel their blood into a giant rubber kiddy pool where the pagan orgy takes place. I'm also very interested in religion, my religion that is, the Church of Justin. Join up today, you get a free bag of potato chips. Actually you don't, you just recieve my blessing, which will grant you the strength of ten grizzly bears and the speed of ten cheetahs and the intellect of ten octopi. I also like going the gym, playing Dawn of War and partying it up from time to time.

I'd like to meet:

Julius Caesar, but he's dead. Jon Stewart, he kicks ass. Stephen Colbert, he kicks ass too. I'd also like to meet a priest who hasn't molested little boys.

Music:

I loves instrumentals, punk, classic rock and some rap, such as Deltron tha funky homosapien. Then you know, White Stripes, System of a Down, Buckethead, Bad Religion, Franz Ferdinand, Tool, Rage against the Machine...what else is in my CD player? Oh yeah, The Streets, Infected Mushroom, RAMMSTEIN, Beck, Nine-Inch-Nails, MSI, Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Deep Purple, Liquid Tension Experiment and Gorillaz. I also consider the dying screams of orphans being eviceserated by power tools music, and damn good music at that.

Movies:

I used to like a bunch of movies, but then 300 came out and I think every movie in the future will disappoint compared to that. Haha, just kidding, but 300 is probably the best one.

Television:

Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, Family Guy, American Dad, Attack of the Show, Rome, Real time with Bill Maher, Penn & Teller: Bullshit! ATHF, Futurama, The Simpsons, Future Weapons, Cops, Metalocaplyse, Fire Fly, Secert Real Life Gladiatorial Combat to the Death Channel.

Books:

The Magic Time series, Snow Crash, American Gods, Guns Germs and Steel, Caesar, 300, V for Vendetta, Don Quixote, The Animoprhs Series, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Ilium and Olympos. I also like a bunch of Rifts books, which is a pen and paper RPG, though I never played Rifts I just read the books, thus Rifts is under books and not interests. I also like "reading" Playboy and Huslter and Pent House...great "articles" in those magazines.

Heroes:

Julius Caesar, Zaraki Kenpachi, King Leonidas, Orgrim Doomhammer, Thrall. In my expert theological opinion, all these figures should be more respected and their teachings more widely spread and practiced than the teachings of Christ, Buddha, Mohammed and whoever is famous in Hindu religion.

My Blog

Star Wars rap

I'm hangin with Obi-wan KenobiHe's my homieHe's a JediHe don't get highHe uses the forcewithout remorseto fight for what's rightlightsaber shining so bright.He's hunting down the Sith LordsFightin' th...
Posted by Justin on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 01:52:00 PST

Attack!

I have a philosophical question: Why not kill babies? Seriously, that's deep man.
Posted by Justin on Sat, 24 Mar 2007 11:27:00 PST

A little more of my totally rad book.

How was that? I sure hope you liked it because I barely put any thought into at all. But I must say that Jondan is one badass elf. Maybe later I'll write a continuation where he cuts up some bitches w...
Posted by Justin on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 01:40:00 PST

My really good book

Here's a small portion of my really cool book. An Adventure Without a Name By Justin Haines -->[if !supportEmptyParas]-->  -->[endif]--> Chapter 1 -->[if !supportEmptyParas]-->  -->[e...
Posted by Justin on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 08:37:00 PST

An apology and a warning.

The Apology:It's come to my attention that some people who have read my blog have found some of the things I've written offensive. I wrote near the end of my first blog that the rest of the ones I wro...
Posted by Justin on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:33:00 PST

Beating up old people

I'll let you all in on some important information. That information is: Old people are living far longer than nature intended (but in all fairness so am I), but I don't care about me. What I care abou...
Posted by Justin on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 03:31:00 PST

Have a happy federally mandated holiday.

Merry Christmas mother fuckers! Whether you like it or not Christmas is a federally mandated holiday, so you might as well celebrate it whether you're a Christian or not, especially because Christmas ...
Posted by Justin on Mon, 26 Dec 2005 01:17:00 PST

My crack pipe broke

Someone give me a new crack pipe! I need crack! Crack crack crack! I want to torture little orphan babies and rape their asses off until they're bleeding gallons of blood on the floor and crying for h...
Posted by Justin on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Read this or something awful will happen to you

So some jackasses tried to commit Loan-Fraud in my brother and fathers names. They are Freedom Equity Group, they are run by ex-CIA Mormons. I know where their office is, and I should reciprocate thei...
Posted by Justin on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I'm losing my blog virginity!

This is going to be short as hell because I'm tired and I don't really care about this much. Though sadly this is the first blog I've ever written. Well, I don't really know why it's sad, considering ...
Posted by Justin on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST