OLLIE

Hello, I'm Ollie. I'm rubbish at describing myself, so I got Layla to.
"I love Ollie. She has a big, massive bed that I enjoy lying in and watching the Boosh in. She has her own bathroom where she plays with shaving foam for some reason. She eats a lot of junk food and she always has a book and a snack in her bag. She's really cuddly and is basically a teddy bear, but in girl form. She drinks alot of beer, but we don't let her drink wine. She doesn't spend enough time in the UK. Her parents are weird, but brilliant, much like her. I like it when I'm sick and she looks after me. I also like her because I get loads of gash because of her. Not hers, but other girls, so its a winner. She does my head in though, because I remember her before she could speak English, and now she's a big genius. Basically, hos before bros, init."
Beer. Burritos. Texting. Napping. Travelling. Trains, planes and automobiles. Too much coffee and not enough sleep. Drinking that much I lose a shoe. Not falling in canals. Taking photos. Going to the zoo. Glassjaw. Meals comprised entirely of animals and their biproducts. Chanuka and Christmas. Cherry bagels. Manchester in small doses, New York in medium doses and Amsterdam in big doses. Falling asleep with a smile on my face. Awesome people.
I wish I was called Consuela.
I'm as nice as a girl scout can be!
king of awesome.