malt liquor tastes better when you have problems profile picture

malt liquor tastes better when you have problems

I've been to earth. I'll take us there.

About Me

eh. I have my moments of genius. these, however, are offset by rather frequent and brazen displays of stupidity. I collect nickels, for fuck's sake. I freely admit to being a big dork.

I'd like to be a rockstar, a writer, a professional poker player, or both. maybe even a chef. usually, though, I'm just trying to figure out how to have the most fun possible in life.

oh...and I giggle when my farts rattle the bedsprings.


My Interests

chicks, music, zombies, playing my ukulele, kickball, gummi bears, muthafuckin freebird's, comics, books, cartoons, dominoes, fun, booze, smokes, juice boxes, darts, video games, being lazy, overdosing on energy drinks (not anymore), vandalizing drunk people, pub trivia, road trips that make you say "what was I thinking?", running when I have the time, baseball, scrutinizing established thought, playing the lottery, poker, oh hell...lots of crap.

I'd like to meet:

hum (check), pancho and lefty, emma niblett (check), wilco, matt pond pa (check), beck, hayden, sufjan, similar criminal minds (check), a few dead comedians, MORGAN WEBB (if only)... maybe a happy medium of riff randell and kate rambeau (but I won't hold my breath), and/or someone to play crossword puzzles against. but I would certainly not like to meet the business end of your dad's shotgun.

Music:

here are a lot of songs. I like them all. push play and I'm sure you'll find something you can enjoy.

Movies:

zombie movies!!! (almost any and all), westerns, zombie westerns?, kung fu movies, and sappy romantic comedies.

this could be the reason I started playing ukulele in the first place:

Television:

cartoons, baseball, documentaries, BATTLESTAR GAFUCKINGLACTICA, [scrubs], and the price is right. I think "sit and be fit" will destroy society as we know it. as if we weren't fucking lazy enough already.

Books:

I read quite a wide spectrum of authors, but I prefer american literature. nelson algren was the fucking man. I also dig vonnegut, rushdie, gould, steinbeck...hordes of others. I like books. but goddammit, nelson algren was the fucking man.
just don't ever be surprised if you see me with a comic book in one hand and a freebird's burrito in the other.

Heroes:

this guy. if he doesn't humble you, you're not alive.
gush.

My Blog

my date with bigfoot.

my poor poor ipod. his sorry little excuse for a brain has finally succumbed to a disease of sorts. this has come about, I'm sure, by some sort of bad parenting on my part. I can't say I've been a...
Posted by malt liquor tastes better when you have problems on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 05:13:00 PST

recipe for success

step one:  don't drink coffee for about a month.  in fact, it's best if you don't even remember the last time you had a cup.  step two:  drink some coffee.  EDIT: drink damn ...
Posted by malt liquor tastes better when you have problems on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 05:56:00 PST

life with one arm...

first off, typing with one hand sucks.  second, most of the pain comes from either sitting or lying down.  third, standing up most of the day sucks...especially when vicodin makes me sleepy....
Posted by malt liquor tastes better when you have problems on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 03:46:00 PST

someday when things are good

so it's safe to say that I don't really like my current job.  it's okay.  it's easy...but I just don't like it, man.  lately, I've noticed that when I drive to work in the morning I fin...
Posted by malt liquor tastes better when you have problems on Wed, 18 Jan 2006 12:19:00 PST

a few things

1.  is it just me, or is austin kinda stinky right now? 2.  kid icarus is way harder now than it was when I was eight. 3.  rollerskating is way harder now than it was when I was eight. ...
Posted by malt liquor tastes better when you have problems on Wed, 11 Jan 2006 12:14:00 PST

religious/wayne's world experience

half price books, north lamar.  aside from going there from time to time just to be too shy to talk to the really cute girl that works there, I've been marked as 'that guy' by the people that ru...
Posted by malt liquor tastes better when you have problems on Sat, 08 Oct 2005 09:54:00 PST