Writing blogs, incessant jibber jabbering, my dog and cats, mumbling under my breath, lying, reading, offending others, the coming Apocalypse (and Kirk Cameron's part in it), using the F-word, video games, diseases, maladies and syndromes, genetics, my Dyson vacuum and home decorating magazines .
I'd like to meet:
If you are smart and funny, self-deprecating, highly medicated, read books, like to blab about your pets OR if you think I am at all amusing (infinitely more important) drop me a line anytime. I love to chit-chat and bore new people with my stories. I am a lot nicer and less judgmental than I seem. (Well, not a lot).
PEOPLE I DON'T WANT TO MEET: (a list in progress)
If you own an auto decal of a cartoon character urinating on anything, please, let us not be friends.
As long as we are talking cars, if you feel the need to display your ball cap and/or stuffed animal collection in the back window of your car, get off MySpace and check yourself in to a program. It's a car window not a museum curator's case. You are an idiot.
Truthfully, I don't care about your band. Really.
If your avatar is a photo of you in a state of undress, and is not a joke, no, no, no, go away.
If you wear your phone (in your ear, on your belt, on a lanyard around your neck) please, just fuck off.
Oh and young, perky people need not apply. If you are often described as spunky or peppy, we are obviously not meant to be friends.
Remember, if you don't have anything nice to say, come and sit by me.
Music:
Jason and the Scorchers, Elvis Brothers, The Love Jones, Godfathers, BR-549, The Mats, The Who, Stray Cats, The Pixies, EP, Flying Burrito Bros, Jimmie Rodgers, Bodeans, Ramones, Elvis Costello, Romantics, Kinks, country music made before 1970, Otis Redding, kd lang, British Invasion era rock, Psychedelic rock, Matthew Sweet, Cheap Trick, Wilco and almost anything from the 80's
Movies:
Dog Fight, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, Swimming with Sharks, Nightmare Before Christmas, Ghost World, Office Space, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Christmas Story, *POINT BREAK*, Rushmore, Sid & Nancy, Stripes, The King of Comedy, Paper Moon, Breaking Away, Roadhouse, Hairspray, Shakes the Clown, Murder by Death, Groundhog Day, Like Water For Chocolate, Logan's Run, Westworld, Swingers, Haiku Tunnel, Election, Clambake, Napolean Dynamite, Rock 'n Roll High School, Night of the Comet, Uncle Buck, City Slickers, Cinderfella, Valley Girl
Television:
Made For TV Movies, The Bionic Woman (of course the Lindsey Wagner vehicle...don't be stupid), Ben Stiller Show, WKRP, Columbo, Simpsons, Sell this House, People's Court with Judge Marilyn Millian, TV Nation, The Awful Truth, My Name Is Earl, The Office and practically anything on PBS.
For the love of all that is holy...how much longer must I wait for The Bionic Woman (the good one) to be released on an American DVD?!?
Books:
Of the UTMOST importance. Faves: The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, TKAM by Harper Lee, Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters, A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole, Fabulous Nobodies by Lee Tulloch, Sarah Vowell, Michael Moore, Al Franken, Joe Queenan, PJ O'Rourke, David Sedaris, Fran Leibowitz, Oscar Wilde, Bill Bryson, Eudora Welty, Flannery O'Connor, Dorothy Parker, James Thurber, David Rakoff, Wendy McClure, Merrill Markoe, Cynthia Heimel, Antique medical texts, antique health and beauty books
Heroes:
My Grandparents
People I admire: Judge Judith Sheinlin, Randy Grim, the late Bill Hicks, David Cross, Margaret Cho, Callahan, Tina Fey, Michael Moore, Bill Maher, the late great Don Knotts, Bobcat Goldthwait, Cesar Milan, little kids with dreams that haven't yet been crushed, Roger Maris, Hank Aaron, the Babe, Peace Corps volunteers, John Adams for doing all the work and getting so little credit (that's why I hate working in groups)...
