Mike O)))

I saw the most amazing lady ever the other day. I was stopped at a stoplight in Los Feliz/echo Park area and this 65 year old lady walks out of her house with her house cat at her side. The whole time she was talking to her cat and pretending her cat was talking back. I didnt think this was too odd of behavior because I do this with my dogs all the time and i go so far as to create fake voices for them and answer in the way i think they would have answered. Anyway, this lady and her cat were heading out to go get the mail from their mail box and as they get there the lady picks up the cat and says, "ok, now get mommy's mail." The cat then reaches out, opens the mail box and with both paws grabs all the mail and places it in the womens left hand. This was without a doubt, the most amazing think i have ever fucking seen. Training animals to do human things is not only the greatest thing in the world, but the most entertaining as well. I would much rather sit at home and watch any animal ride a bicycle or jump rope for 20 hours than do pretty much anything. Im trying in my own way to get my animals to do human type things. In the morning before i take a shower i try to get my dogs to pick out my clothes for me. I tell Lola to "find daddy a shirt" and then tell Jacques to "find daddy some pants." (I have to have jacques pick out the pants because I have too many shirts and i think that would overwhelm him.) Then i send them into the closet and shut the door for about 30 seconds. When i open it back up and let them out i see what clothes they brought me and decide on whether or not to wear them. So far, Jacques has brought me my instruction manual for a dvd player, an old D battery, and my alarm clock that doesn't work. He tries though, the lord knows he tries. Lola at least brings me clothes most of the time, although she mostly only brings socks. Then when i sit her down to tell her that i cant wear only socks or ill get arrested for indecent exposure(again) she gets mad, sighs and then grabs the socks again and runs away forcing me to play her favorite game, a game she calls "you cant catch me because i have 4 legs and you are in your underwear and barely awake." She is undefeated at this game as i usually give up and kiss another pair of sox good bye around 2 minutes into the game. I am confident that someday i will have my dogs picking my clothes out for me though, and on that day, i will be the greatest man alive.