nice face, asshole - ProfilesArchive

About Me

i take showers during thunderstorms. i text message while i drive. i never break for speed bumps. i leave the door unlocked. ladies and their mothers assure me of my handsomeness. the gays do not. i can wear the shortest of shorts and still manage to look hulking. i don't wear perscription sunglasses when i drive if the pair is bitchin'. i strive to look unapproachable. i catch up on my reading during sex. i whiten my teeth, and then drink coffee the next morning. i think long-distance relationships are stupid, but will probably work best for me. i have been known to come off as rude, insensitive, arrogant, vulgar, idiotic, ignorant, and charming. i spend my time attempting to dress stupid. i'm self-depricating, self-loathing, and practice all self-destructive behaviors. i hate back-in parkers. i despise cocaine and its users. i let my gas tank get really low. i take unauthorized breaks at work. i practice conversations in my head. i prefer mechanical pencils and chalkboards. i do the opposite of what people to tell me, partly for spite and partly cause i'm an asshole. i can take it half as well as i can dish it out. i have way too many photobooth pictures on my myspace. i rewrite my notes to make them neater. i hate when people don't talk good. i respond to random myspace messages. i like to push buttons. my dance moves are fresh. im:thistotallyblows Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

butter mouth. butter cup. buttered buns. butter up. black hankie. straight shot. no raincoat. flame hot. tongue teaser. old geezer. shrimp pleaser. fridge freezer. kitchen cleaner. cherry picker. soup sipper. lilly dipper. hoop snake. double header. flip flop. 69er. dairy farmer. cream of the crop. slippery dick. bo peep. lookie freak. peer queer. voyeur. wind jammer. party slammer. cake eater. vacuum cleaner. private rave. taste bud. jelly cave. lil nub. toss freaker. floss tweaker. sauce leeker. moss shrieker. face artist. linguist. ficky fick. specialist. easy mark. easy make. easy bake. bucket boy. we spaghetti. whack job.

Music:

bjork, hot chip, jem, joni mitchell, iron and wine, la bouche, hot hot heat, death cab, postal service, stellastarr, m83, syd matters, the decemberists, badly drawn boy, cansei de ser sexy, the sounds, the frames, the cardigans, yeah yeah yeahs, franz ferdinand, the killers, modest mouse, berlin, cyndi lauper, shiny toy guns, mount sims, 2GE+HER, mum, radiohead, britney, bright eyes, baxter, interpol, TV on the radio, journey, weezer, the killers, yo la tengo, mirah, the brunettes, electrelane, eisley, m.i.a., portishead, stars, the arcade fire, pedro the lion, elefant, salt 'n' pepper, 20 fingers, da fresh attractions, clap your hands and say yeah!, sigur ros, feist, melody club, gnarls barkley, the gossip, au revoir simone, the concretes, billie holiday, tracy chapman, ELO, FannyPack, metric, peaches, the rapture, ms. john soda, yeah yeah yeahs, voxtrot, jose gonzales, ladytron, the album leaf, sarasimpson, eresso/pdiddles, the knife, catpower, tom waites, the magnetic fields, ace of base, of montreal....

Heroes:

refer back to "about me"..

My Blog

time

i went out tonight to celebrate the lovely, beautiful kristen jones. i sat next to her, admiring everything about her. she's mature, brave, beautiful, confident. in fact, all the people i have current...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 12:07:00 PST

come on ride da [crazy] train

walking through a crowd of people, holding my cigarette inside my palm so not to burn others. my arms were grabbed. a high-pitched squeal began. a list of obscenities rambled off, a hand across m...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 09:38:00 PST

i think i won america's next top model

my family and i stood by the lake in front of our home. the country had just gone to war. a black family drove by in their boat. i wanted to befriend them, in case water was the only way to travel. wh...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Sat, 14 Oct 2006 09:30:00 PST

if you don't come any closer i don't mind if you stay

i had an official emotional breakdown last night, or early this morning, depending on how you look at it. it had been building up for a while, i think, i want to think. the lack of money, the supply o...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 11:54:00 PST

term papers and bathroom sex

after completing a total of 8 papers for Analysis of Critical Issues class, i joined liz and celina at da bar. we drank our sorta cold beer, listening to a mixture of decent music, heard obnoxiously l...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Mon, 17 Apr 2006 11:59:00 PST

add that to the nice list

celina. kayla. jenna. angie. liz. jamie. me. we all share something in common now.
Posted by nice face, asshole on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 06:59:00 PST

its pronounced nawlins

my feet trampled over crushed beer cans, strewn beads, overflowing trashbags, and other assorted garbage that lined the many crossroads and main streets of downtown new orleans. i was in charge of the...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Mon, 06 Mar 2006 11:01:00 PST

valentines.

our hands gripped the tight rubber handles of our banana seated bikes. the freezing air rushing over our faces, pulling the scarfs from our necks, pushing them into the air that showed our breath. the...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 08:46:00 PST

the anniversary dinner

my fingers tapped my steering wheel as i sat in the parking lot of the restaurant where we first met. the sky was nearly pitch black as the clouds rolled in for the usual summer thunderstorm. raindrop...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Sun, 05 Feb 2006 11:50:00 PST

how could this day get any worse, you ask?

work up to angry message after restless sleep went to work to begin 11 hour shift arrive at albertsons to raid bakery department for kitchen staff car fails to start i ask here for god to strike me d...
Posted by nice face, asshole on Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:07:00 PST