konichiwa, bitches. profile picture

konichiwa, bitches.

I am here for Friends

About Me

Often politically incorrect and downright offensive, I make friends easily among the cynical, bitter, and jaded. Despite my spastic outbursts I actually think the world is full of potential for hope, love, and genius. I can eat anything with chopsticks and green is my favorite color. I'm one of the weirdest sane people on the planet. P.S. Don't define sane. I didn't.Layout made by Topangachick

My Interests

everything rad.

I'd like to meet:

People smarter, more motivated and more positive than myself.

Music:

hip hop, jazz, classical, and anything else that requires musicianship (i.e. not punk rock or anything screamy and undanceable).

Movies:

A Clockwork Orange, Shawshank Redemption, Do The Right Thing, Fargo, House Party, Hairspray, Snatch, The Life of Brian, And Now For Something Completely Different, The Meaning of Life, old school kung-fu flicks, and a bunch of stuff I can't think of right now.

Television:

Seinfeld, Chappelle's Show, The Daily Show, South Park, The Simpsons, Monty Python's Flying CirCUS!, One Foot In The Grave, Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, Red Dwarf, BBC News, Faulty Towers, MAD TV.

Books:

History, politics, the history of politics, the politics of history, and your diary.Books of note in the last twelve months: Eighteen Layers of Hell--Memoirs from the Chinese Gulag; Against All Enemies by Richard Clarke, Arab Nationalism in the Twentieth Century: From Triumph to Despair by Adeed Dawisha; The Forging of the American Empire by Sidney Lens; Stalin and the Bomb by David Holloway; The Complete Enderby, The Doctor is Sick, and A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess; Pomp and Circumstance by Noel Coward; The Untimely Death of a Nihilist by Rick Bluett; Experience, The Information by Martin Amis; The Old Devils by Kingsley Amis; Shirley by Emily Bronte; Berlin and the Wall: The Last Division by Ann Tusa; Reservations are for Indians by Heather Robertson; Stolen Continents by Ronald Wright; The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens; a book about gypsies and a book about Serbia whose authors I've forgotten.Favorites: Soul on Ice by Eldridge Cleaver; Letter from the Earth by Mark Twain; Desert Queen by Margaret Bell; Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden; Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser, others whose authors I've forgotten.
You Are a Smart American. SO TELL SMUG CANADIANS THAT THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES.
You know a lot about US history, and your opinions are probably well informed.
Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be. Oh yeah, and fuck C.S.S. (Canadian Superiority Syndrome). Are You a Dumb American?

Heroes:

fuck nathan.

My Blog

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: It’s Not That I Don’t Want To, It’s Just That I Don’t Love You Enough

Dear Konichiwa, Bitches.,        &nb sp;         &nb sp;         &nb sp;&...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 11:31:00 PST

Im not really a heartless bitch, I just play one on MySpace

A concerned reader posted a longish and thought-provoking comment on yesterday's blog about the lady without the means to buy soap and water or proper winter clothing, whose hands were lavishly drape...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Thu, 22 Nov 2007 10:20:00 PST

Decorate Your Poop With Little Umbrellas, Put Bowties on Your Trashcans

It's time for another rant.  I promise to keep it as brief and civil as possible.Why are we always pretending to have or be something we're not?  People are forever blatantly feigning one th...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:40:00 PST

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: The Battle of the Talking Heads Wants to Steal Your Free Will

Dear Konichiwa, Bitches.,        &nb sp;         &nb sp;         &nb sp;&...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:37:00 PST

Not to worry, I'm still practicing "safe sex", oh, and drinking like a fish.

I need to do more blogs like the one I'm going to do now.  None of the cheesy fake letters, attempts at satire, or general hating on everything and everyone around me.  Just a couple of para...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Sun, 18 Nov 2007 08:47:00 PST

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: How to Get the Hitch Out of Your Giddyup

Oh my God.  A Real Life Human Being wrote me a question.  [Note: It is 100% coincidence that this letter comes from an actual 43-year-old.  Last week's fake 43-year-old and this week's ...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 02:54:00 PST

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: How To Live Until You’re a Racist 88-year-old, or Perhaps Even Longer

Dear Konichiwa, Bitches.,        &nb sp;         &nb sp;         &nb sp;&...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:31:00 PST

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: Keeping Commitments

Dear Konichiwa, Bitches.,        &nb sp;         &nb sp;         &nb sp;&...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 11:30:00 PST

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: My "Friends" Hate Me

Dear Konichiwa, Bitches.,        &nb sp;         &nb sp;         &nb sp;&...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 10:45:00 PST

Ask Konichiwa, Bitches.: Only the Virgin Mary Can Help You Out of This One

Dear Konichiwa, Bitches.,        &nb sp;         &nb sp;         &nb sp;&...
Posted by konichiwa, bitches. on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:15:00 PST