RUNNING FOR OUR LIVES |
When we were teenagers, Allen and I enjoyed toilet papering the trees at the homes of many of our classmates. We'd drive around singing Madonna songs with a cas...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 07:38:00 PST |
A CLASSIC NORMAN ROCKWELL SLICE OF AMERICANA |
It was 1979. Sid Vicious died, there was a hostage crisis in Iran, ESPN was born, and Wonder Woman was twirling around on our television screens.
the best girdle, EVER!
A ...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:48:00 PST |
HOW I WAS OUTED BY AN EGG AND A BOYFRIEND BAG |
I'm not very bright. When my mother called and told me that my grandma had a ripped rotator cuff, I thought it meant that there was something wrong with grandma's car.
"...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 06:50:00 PST |
MEETING NINA |
"When you see her
say a prayer
and kiss your heart goodbye..."
-Madonna, Who's That Girl, 1987
She likes Cherry Coke. She loves her some white boys. Sh...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 05:03:00 PST |
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: TOTALLY TYLER |
I once had a three way with Meg Ryan.
Well, not the real Meg Ryan, but a Meg Ryan lookey-likey. She had gigantic boobies and she snorted when she laughed. And it wasn't ex...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 05:09:00 PST |
I DIDNT MEAN TO TURN YOU ON |
I am a flirt. There's no doubt about it. Today alone I've flirted with the mailman, the pizza delivery boy, the lady I sat next to on the train and her toddler that smelled like Cool Ranc...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 06:04:00 PST |
YOURE NOT ON THE GUEST LIST |
"People give me the businessI'm not living in fearI'm just living in chaosGotta get away from here"-Madonna, Wheres The Party, 1987
The scene: Ted's Montana Grill. It's another Saturday n...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 07:04:00 PST |
IVAN AND ED |
"Maybe somedayWhen I look back I'll be able to sayYou didn't mean to be cruelSomebody hurt you too"
-Madonna, Oh Father, 1989
Ivan was a goatfucker. At l...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 06:26:00 PST |
I AM RESILIENT |
"What did you do last night?" asked my friend Phillip.
I felt hot. Images quickly flashed in my mind of the previous night: Darnell kissing me. His hands sliding down my...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 06:36:00 PST |
THEY ALWAYS COME BACK |
It always amazes me when people don't get the obvious. Call it stupidity or a lack of common sense, but we're all guilty of overlooking the obvious, for whatever reason.
...
Posted by totally tyler™ on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 07:20:00 PST |
