I like to think of myself as a vibrant person. I’m like a ray of sunshine. I have a smile that can kill, and a touch that can sooth. You may find me on a Tuesday afternoon helping save retards, and then come Wednesday I am back to work doing what I do best “nothingâ€. I have been to Africa a number of times with only one purpose, and that is to save thirsty camels. I can empty a dishwasher in less than 3 minutes. I have also been known to drink 30 alcoholic beverages in one night without getting sick. Children hate me, and Mexican men love me. I enjoy collecting stamps in my free time, but only ones that have pictures of Elvis on them. I have made a mean quiche during the holidays several times. My mother is related to Martin Luther King, and Malcolm X. I once had 15,000 dollars and spent it in only 3 seconds. My first year of college I got a “C†in English and an “A†in Spanish. My Grandfather was a Nazi soldier, and my grandmother was a Jew. I hold the world record for bargaining down a purse I bought in China Town from 20 dollars to only 5 dollars. One time I had Beyonce kicked out of Jay-z’s party. Some Sundays I sit in a lawn chair on my back porch and sing gospel music (Only if I am feeling religious at the moment). I am the one responsible for hooking up Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. My favorite invention is paper-clips. They never made the sequel to CUJO because my Chihuahua killed him. Last summer I lived in Alaska so I could study why the majority of people from there are not attractive. I often make guest appearances on the Montel Williams show, but only to find out which guy is my new baby’s daddy. My Favorite laundry detergent is Tide. I own one of the most extensive Tupperware collections you have ever seen, and by the way, the last time I hung out with P-Diddy he "declared" me as cool as the fuzzy mink coats he wears to all the award ceremonies. So if you want to be a new member of my fan club than please contact me. Look forward to hearing from you.
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