P-NUT profile picture

P-NUT

I can resist everything except temptation.

About Me

I like to think of myself as a vibrant person. I’m like a ray of sunshine. I have a smile that can kill, and a touch that can sooth. You may find me on a Tuesday afternoon helping save retards, and then come Wednesday I am back to work doing what I do best “nothing”. I have been to Africa a number of times with only one purpose, and that is to save thirsty camels. I can empty a dishwasher in less than 3 minutes. I have also been known to drink 30 alcoholic beverages in one night without getting sick. Children hate me, and Mexican men love me. I enjoy collecting stamps in my free time, but only ones that have pictures of Elvis on them. I have made a mean quiche during the holidays several times. My mother is related to Martin Luther King, and Malcolm X. I once had 15,000 dollars and spent it in only 3 seconds. My first year of college I got a “C” in English and an “A” in Spanish. My Grandfather was a Nazi soldier, and my grandmother was a Jew. I hold the world record for bargaining down a purse I bought in China Town from 20 dollars to only 5 dollars. One time I had Beyonce kicked out of Jay-z’s party. Some Sundays I sit in a lawn chair on my back porch and sing gospel music (Only if I am feeling religious at the moment). I am the one responsible for hooking up Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. My favorite invention is paper-clips. They never made the sequel to CUJO because my Chihuahua killed him. Last summer I lived in Alaska so I could study why the majority of people from there are not attractive. I often make guest appearances on the Montel Williams show, but only to find out which guy is my new baby’s daddy. My Favorite laundry detergent is Tide. I own one of the most extensive Tupperware collections you have ever seen, and by the way, the last time I hung out with P-Diddy he "declared" me as cool as the fuzzy mink coats he wears to all the award ceremonies. So if you want to be a new member of my fan club than please contact me. Look forward to hearing from you.
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My Interests

Drinking, saying stupid things to random people, smokin crack, spanking people who have been bad, tupperware, swinging on poles, shopping, beach, movies, and working out.

I'd like to meet:

I have always wanted to fuck Matthew McConaughey. I guess that would be reason enough to meet him.
Your Porn Star Name is: Sandra Spreadum

Get your own Porn Star Name

Music:


Your Daddy Is Dennis Rodman
What You Call Him: Daddy Dearest

Why You Love Him: He's the Mack Daddy Who's Your Daddy?

Movies:

Happy gilmore, wedding crashers, man on fire, true romance, coming to america, American Beauty,
You Are Most Like Carrie!
You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date.
But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?
It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky.
Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a
great closet of clothes, no matter what!

Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year...

Totally different from any guy you've dated. Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Television:

Sex and the City, Lost, Six Feet Under, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Invasion.
Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

Books:

any quantum physics book, Cosmo, Glamour, People

My Blog

The Big Red Couch

Dear Myspace Diary, I am the dreams of my generation, and the break on the rock of despair. My dreams of my generation break on the seat of my couch. And, in this quote, wisdom: "Truckin coors beer ea...
Posted by P-NUT on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 09:35:00 PST

Pool Table Ethics (Or So I Have Learned)

Dear Myspace Diary, Please no THREE FINGERED MARY! Said the scared girl, in a scared voice. 2 for 3 in pool is BULLSHIT! My virtue is worth more than a game of non-stop 8-ball. "My bum is on the chair...
Posted by P-NUT on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:53:00 PST

Johnny Depp

Dear Myspace Diary, I have decided to empty my bank account, and take a tour to Los Angeles.  Hopefully that is where he is. I am gonna lose about oh i don't know 20-30 pounds, and then go and fi...
Posted by P-NUT on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 07:06:00 PST

Bad Judgement, The Morning After, And the Gossip That Comes With It.

Dear Myspace Diary, Have you ever woken up next to somebody, and when you look at them , you would rather chew your arm off, than risk moving it gently, and accidently waking his/her ugly as...
Posted by P-NUT on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 06:57:00 PST

Camel Toes, Cottage Cheese, And Side Handles

Dear Myspace Diary, Working at a law firm was an interesting experience.  You learn a lot about gossip, drinking, crazy women, gay fudge packing administrators, and the worst of all, you get to w...
Posted by P-NUT on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 08:54:00 PST

The lost Commandment

Thou shall not drink again. Hella good! Said cocaine Katie. That damn nosey white bitch! One day she will get hers. Crack kills so i have heard. And Felicia....  That fat twat! She sucked a syphi...
Posted by P-NUT on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 11:01:00 PST

CALLING ALL SWINGERS!!!!!!!

Dear Myspace Diary, ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />  I hope all you wonderful Myspace friends out there are doing well.   Have you know I have had w...
Posted by P-NUT on Mon, 14 May 2007 09:15:00 PST

More Wonderful Messages Awaiting My Myspace Login

 Mitch ..> ..> Subject: what's up? Hey, I saw your profile while I was browsing. I read though it, and you seem like a fun person to hang with. Unless you were serious about everything, in ...
Posted by P-NUT on Mon, 07 May 2007 07:45:00 PST

Sunday Funday

Dear Myspace Diary, I would like to declare Sunday the best day of the week.  They don't call it "Sunday Funday" for no reason. It's all about good friends, good company, good memories, and ...
Posted by P-NUT on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:22:00 PST

Home Sweet Home

Dear Myspace Diary, ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />  I initially thought that this unemployment thing was going to be great.  Take it easy for a whi...
Posted by P-NUT on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 08:01:00 PST