Cats
Back rubs
Vegetarian
Pizza
Chocolate
Red wine
Classy imported beer
Cheap crappy beer
Orgies
I also like to wear women's clothes... shhhhhh.
I'd like to meet my friends below...
Often when a body is found it has already decomposed beyond recognition, making identification nearly impossible. When there are no leads and no matching missing person dental records, the authorities enlist artists to recreate the facial features of the corpse. Using the latest computer technology, they create drawings, busts, and computer generated images of what the person might've looked like in life. The result is a face like my friends' faces, images one step beyond the faces you find on the side of milk cartons, faces even further from reality than the age-progressed pictures of missing children. These nameless ghosts are anonymous yet familiar looking folks just like the ones you pass at the grocery store, and but for a misstep of life's drunken fate you yourself may lose your life and identity only to be reincarnated and cast as some vague recreation of your former self.
Spend some time with these fictive attempts to illuminate life's unknown soldiers. Get to know them, each has a personality and a history. Look carefully.
All the usual unusuals:
Robert Johnson
Leadbelly
“Smile,†Charlie Chaplin
Johnny Ace
Hank Williams
Little Richard
Screamin Jay Hawkins
Buddy Holly
Roy Orbison
Rick Nelson
Phil Spector
Shadow Morton
The Crystals
The Ronettes
“Will You Love Me Tomorrow?,†The Shirelles
The Shaggs
Screaming Lord Sutch
Phil Ochs
Bob Dylan
John Lennon
Brian Wilson
? and the Mysterians
Neil Young
Leonard Cohen
“The Werewolf,†Michael Hurley
Tim Buckley
“Memo From Turner,†Rolling Stones
Nelson Riddle
Chet Baker after he lost his teeth and was a junkie
Judy Garland when she was old and drunk
Alice Cooper before he went born again and started playing golf
David Bowie when he was gay and an alien
Marc Bolan
Tom Waits
“Mrs. Lennon,†Yoko Ono
The New York Dolls
“Perfect Day,†Lou Reed
Patti Smith
Suicide
Joey Ramone
John Lydon
Joy Division
Nick Cave
Rowland Howard
The Cure
Shane MacGowan
“Seven Year Ache,†Roseanne Cash
The Smiths
Psychic TV
The Residents
Cocteau Twins
Cyndi Lauper
Daniel Johnston
Butthole Surfers
Jarvis Cocker
Flaming Lips
Angelo Badalamenti
“Talent is a Vampire,†Bongwater
Kurt Cobain
Radiohead
Slowdive
Low
Mogwai
A Silver Mt. Zion
Explosions In The Sky
Mono
“Busby Berkeley Dreams,†The Magnetic Fields
“My Life in Art,†Mojave 3
Fantomas
Buckethead
Rykarda Parasol
Gabriel Hart
Mad Lovers
Jason Alacrity
Lily Marlene
Birt Bird
Arc Hive
“Danny Boy,†“For All We Know,†“What a Wonderful World,†“Gloomy Sunday,†and “A Very Good Year,†performed by pretty much anyone
Charlie Chaplin
Buster Keaton
Harold Lloyd
Louise Brooks
Victor Sjostrom's He Who Gets Slapped
Rene Clair's Entr acte
Josef Von Sternberg
Luis Bunuel
James Whale
Tod Browning's Freaks
Stepin Fetchit
Anything with a blackface number
Busby Berkeley
Curt Siodmak's Cobra Woman
Edgar G. Ulmer's Detour
Marlon Brando
Nick Ray's In a Lonely Place
Ed Wood's Glen or Glenda?
Charles Laughton's Night of the Hunter
Robert Aldrich's Kiss Me Deadly
John Cassavetes
Hitchcock's Psycho
Michael Powell's Peeping Tom
Jack Clayton's The Innocents
Herk Harvey's Carnival of Souls
Orson Welles' The Trial
Flaming Creatures and anything else by or starring Jack Smith
Andy Warhol
Larry Peerce's The Incident
Bergman's Persona
Jean Luc Godard
Arthur Penn's Mickey One
Donald Cammell's Performance
George Kuchar
Stanley Kubrick
Romero's Night of the Living Dead
Rainer Werner Fassbinder
WERNER HERZOG!!!
John Schleisenger's Midnight Cowboy
Barbara Loden's Wanda
Peter Fonda's The Hired Hand
John Huston's Fat City
Brad Dourif
Bertolucci's Last Tango in Paris
The Exorcist
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Robert Altman's Three Women
David Lynch
Herzog's Stroszek
Dennis Hopper's Out of the Blue
Hector Babenco's Pixote
Chris Marker’s Sans Soleil
Sandor Stern’s Pin
Cronenberg's Dead Ringers
Bruce Weber’s Lets Get Lost
Sean Penn’s The Indian Runner
Lynch's Wild at Heart
Gus Van Sant's My Own Private Idaho
Philip Ridley's The Reflecting Skin
Nick Zedd
Abel Ferrara's Bad Lieutenant
Sadie Benning’s It Wasn't Love
Luther Price’s A
Ian Kerkhof's The Return of the Dead Man
Paul McCarthy and Mike Kelley's Heidi
Josh Evans' Inside the Goldmine
Terry Zwigoff’s Crumb
Steve Buscemi’s Trees Lounge
Crispin Glover's What Is It?
Harmony Korine
Denny Strathman
Peter Tscherkassky’s Outer Space
Thomas Vinterberg's Celebration
Lars Von Trier
Crispin Glover's It is Fine. Everything is Fine.
All political documentaries
Amatuer porn
Celebrity sex home movies
And that educational film about menstruation starring a little retarded girl
Neil Hamburger, oh wait he doesn't have a TV show, well he should.
Art Bell, oh no wait, that's radio, hmmm, TV...
Oh yeah--
Ernie Kovacs
Allen Funt's Candid Camera
Rod Serling's Twilight Zone
The Outer Limits
The Addams Family
Andy Kaufman
Steve Martin
The Simpsons
Unsolved Mysteries
America's Least funniest Home Movies
The Kids in the Hall
Strangers With Candy
Gary Busey
Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet
Fred Armisen
Dave Chappelle
Wonder Showzen
Disinformation
The Daily Show
The Office
TCM
IFC
Jake Byrd
Arthur Rimbaud
Joris-Karl Huysmans
Oscar Wilde
Georg Trakl
Mario De Sa-Carneiro
Alfred Jarry
James Joyce
Franz Kafka
You Can't Win, Jack Black
Rene Daumal
Georges Bataille
Antonin Artaud
Aldous Huxley
Unica Zürn
Jean Genet
William Burroughs
Time of the Assassins,Henry Miller
Guy Debord
Flannery O'Connor
Barry Gifford
William T. Vollmann
Noam Chomsky
Film as a Subversive Art, Amos Vogel
The Anarchy of the Imagination, Rainer Werner Fassbinder
The Monster Show, David J. Skal
Denis Johnson
Rants and Incendiary Tracts: Voices of Desperate Illuminations : 1558-Present, Bob Black
Jack Sargeant
Wait for Me at the Bottom of the Pool, Jack Smith
Herzog on Herzog
Cassavetes on Cassavetes
Cutting Edge: Art-Horror and the Horrific Avant-Garde, Joan Hawkins
How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found, Doug Richmond
Generation Hex, Jason Louv
The Age of Gold: Surrealist Cinema, Robert Short
Lots of nonfiction
Pretty much anything put out by Creation, Loompanics, Amok, Headpress, Feral House, Re/Search, or Disinformation
Why doesn't Myspace have a section for art? If it did, I'd list:
Marcel Duchamp
Yves Klein
Francis Bacon
Robert Crumb
Diane Arbus
Paul McCarthy
Cindy Sherman
Stan Douglas
Charlie White
Cameron Jamie
As for heroes:
Lucifer
Prostitutes
Gamblers
Scientists
Freaks
Magicians
Clowns
Art Forgers
Robin Hood
Joseph Jagger
Charles Wells
Tristan Tzara
Jacques Vaché
Julien Torma
Arthur Cravan
Jacques Rigaut
Andre Breton
Nikola Tesla
Harry Houdini
John Dillinger
"Pretty Boy" Floyd
Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow
Kathryn and "Machine Gun" Kelly
"Creepy" Karpis
The Invisible Man
Horror Movie Hosts
Frank Morris
John and Clarence Anglin
Reggie and Ronnie Kray
D.B. Cooper
Jacques René Mesrine
Jack Kevorkian
The Black Panthers
The Pink Pistols
But enough heroes, what about villains? I have several.
For instance, I despise anyone who has anything to do with the Bush crime family for very obvious reasons. Why were the Kennedys shot yet the Bushes live?
I also loathe Mr. Charlie Lustman, a greedy egomaniac who bought the silent movie theatre having never seen a silent film and hoarded it all to himself and the wealthy patrons who rented it out for their stupid birthday parties where they screened the Jaws DVD and drank expensive champagne. No one owns The Silent Movie Theatre, it belongs to Los Angeles. It should be open to the public regularly and screening a variety of silent film for a reasonable price. Why was Larry Austin (previous owner) shot yet Charlie lives?
My only other swarn enemy is Paul McCartney. Without going into too much detail, it's well known that Paul, and not Yoko, broke up the Beatles. He was taking over the band and writing ridiculous grandma music. Britney and boy bands are descendents of Paul's brand of stupid love songs, such is his incredible disservice to music. Why was John shot yet Paul lives?
By the power vested in me by one of Kenneth Anger's multiple personalities, I hereby curse all my enemies. May they all end their days very soon courtesy of terminal ass cancer.