Comrade Snarky profile picture

Comrade Snarky

insert clever here

About Me

I'm the kind of person who feels alone in a crowd. I'm the best friend you'll never have, because you won't meet my expectations. But fool me once - I'll do anything for you, except lend you money. Fool me twice - I'll cut you. Because all us dagos carry knives.

My Interests

Cooking, movies (especially horror, gialli & B-movies), music, bizarre & unusual things to do in LA, pop culture (especially 80s), LA history, noir, travel, Italy and language. Oh yeah, and writing. ..

I'd like to meet:

Is the grass greener? Can you make me laugh until I pee (just a little)? Will you tell me when I do look fat in these pants? If you're at Amoeba, you're sort of looking for stuff you think I'd like too, because it'd make me smile. At a show, you've got my back even though I can punch just as good as you. When we're watching 3-D porn at the Sunset 5, you're yelling and mocking just as loudly and drunkenly as me. " My Johnson Is 12 Inches Long ", but my Netflix queue is longer. I taught you how to talk dirty in Italian and you lent me your favorite book knowing you'll get it back. When it's 3AM and you can't sleep, you call me and I don't mind. You've seen me cry and known how wretchedly soul-baring it was. We've kissed, even if it's just the Eurotrash kiss-kiss thing. I've cooked for you and cried for you and over you and I still love you because you've earned it.

Music:

IGOR SPECTRE ; Bad Religion, The Dwarves, The Clash, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks; Turbonegro; KILLOLA; The Misfits; AFI; CKY; Queens of the Stone Age; The Pixies, Oingo Boingo; DFA 1979; FEAR, Iggy & the Stooges, X; Jawbreaker, Fugazi; Morphine; The Streetwalkin' Cheetahs; The Distillers; The Bravery; Wu-Tang Clan; the Reverend Horton Heat; Slayer; Voodoo Glow Skulls; KISS, cock rock; 80s; New Bomb Turks, The Makers, Screeching Weasel; Oh No Not Stereo, Oliver Future, OK Stranger, gliss, The Scene, The Ringers, the mercy kiss; Hepcat, English Beat, Scofflaws, Skinnerbox, Slackers, Skoidats; Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stones, The Kinks; Hayden, Jeremy Enigk, Sunny Day Real Estate; Johnny Cash, Hank Williams; most jazz & blues: Monk & Mingus, Billie, Bird & Brubeck, Robert Johnson and Charlie Patton; Joshua Redman

Movies:

Ghostbusters and Goodfellas are tied for first; Forbidden Zone; Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang; most noir, but particularly Kiss Me Deadly, Notorious, This Gun For Hire and Gilda; The Usual Suspects; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; Delicatessen; Reservoir Dogs; Donnie Darko; Spider Baby (thanks Jessicah!), Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!; Sleepaway Camp (Best. Ending. Ever!), Slaughter High, Ginger Snaps; Freaks; Cocaine; the Indiana Jones trilogy (yeah, even Temple of Doom); Candyman, Hellraiser and Nightmare on Elm Street I (III's not bad); Secretary; Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Beetlejuice; Chinatown, Apocalypse Now; the Evil Dead trilogy; shlocky B- through Z-movies; Ultra Flesh & Rocking With Seka (or, Seka's Cruise); Monty Python

Television:

The A-Team; Mr. Show, Family Guy, South Park, Chappelle Show, Arrested Development, Greg the Bunny; Freaks And Geeks; Monty Python's Flying Circus; Lidia's Italy, Fast Food My Way (Jacques Pepin); Law & Order and L&O:SVU, CSI (just the OG one; the spin-offs are yawn), Autopsy ... AND Beverly Hills 90210 & The OC - I AM NOT ASHAMED!

Books:

LA Bizarro (Anthony Lovett & Matt Maranian), A Cook's Tour and Kitchen Confidential (Anthony Bourdain - Les Halles rocks, too!), LA Confidential and The Big Nowhere (James Ellroy), Walter Mosley's Easy Rawlins series, Raymond Chandler's Philip Marlowe series, Robert Crais' Elvis Cole series, The Thin Man (Dashiel Hammett); Hollywood Babylon (Kenneth Anger); IT (Stephen King); Outlander (Diana Gabaldon); The Worst Movies of All Time (Michael Sauter), The Golden Turkey Awards & Son of The Golden Turkey Awards & The 50 Worst Films of All Time (all by Harry & Michael Medved) ...but I didn't like The Day of the Locust (Nathanael West) or To Live and Die In LA (Gerald Petievich; the movie was decent. Willem Dafoe can make just about anything a little better, eh? Kind of like Christopher Walken can - oh wait, Wayne's World 2 SUCKED!)

Heroes:

Mary Tallerico Nesbit.
Sammy Davis Jr.; Jack Kerouac; Hunter S. Thompson; Tallulah Bankhead dahling, Amy Winehouse; Tommy Vercetti!; Lidia Bastianich, Jacques Pepin, Julia Child; Seka; Richard Kelly, Jason Reitman.

My Blog

Lets Play A Game!

I came to work early today, and as such I am leaving early today. This here last hour is draaaaagging.Which reminds me! Now bearing in mind that a) I've seen exactly 1 1/2 "Denise Richards movies" and...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Thu, 29 May 2008 03:59:00 PST

Addendum to An Open Letter To Nick "Hogan"

Because I've been feeling like a big, fat loser lately I thought I'd remind myself that when it comes down to it, I don't have that much to complain about.I don't have a crater in my forehead courtesy...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:20:00 PST

An Open Letter To Nick "Hogan"

And now, an open letter to Nick "Hogan":    Dear Nick,Fuck you. Fuck your arrogance and your sense of self-entitlement and your utter lack of priorities.Fuck your "unbearable anxiety" o...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:11:00 PST

An Open Letter To Kat Von D

I have a love-hate relationship with Kat Von D. See, I think she's cute. However, I think she's really, obnoxiously simple and self-involved and there's nothing I enjoy more than throatily imitating h...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:11:00 PST

Just now

It's a "cat's away, mice will play" kind of day in my office and so I'm alternating between cooing over these Chanellos with my co-workerand perusing penguin-meat recipes on Epicurious.com.Epicurious ...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Wed, 21 May 2008 12:14:00 PST

Cusory musings at best on ANTM (inspired by Bryan)

This started with Bryan von Braun's own blog on the latest ANTM. I started commenting on his blog, and got carried away. So, as not to monopolize his blog here are my blatherings.I agreed with Paulina...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:37:00 PST

NEW PHONE NUMBER

Hi all,I've changed my number; you can now reach me at ... why don't you email me and I'll let you know?baci, Taryn...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 05:20:00 PST

Celebrity Lookalikes!

Exhibit A: Michael Jackson's freshly-revealed children(L-R: Paris, Prince Michael I)Exhibit B: Peter BarkThe end....
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Sat, 02 Feb 2008 04:49:00 PST

Weighing in on the Britney 5150

Shall I assume we're all more than apprised of the Britney Spears "situation" (aka her "major medical meltdown," t/y LA Times; her "ambulance drama," t/y AP; or - oh Jesus tap dancing Christ, seriousl...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 03:52:00 PST

Backdated to the beginning of the year

I received no holiday-related compensation this year, but mercifully I didn't have to work all but 2 hours the week between Christmas and New Year's.I was surprisingly - and again, mercifully - free o...
Posted by Comrade Snarky on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:21:00 PST