Augie profile picture

Augie

You Just Like My Augie Style

About Me


I get my spiritual jollies from old school NFL Films footage. I want to start a mock-metal band called Conditioner that plays 70's and 80's soft rock as 80's hair metal. I'm the 3rd born child of Mr. New England 1975. When I'm really hungry I'm illiterate and can only order food I can see or use a menu with photos. I fear the color teal. I like gummy worms.
I dabble in stand-up comedy. I want to get into comedy writing and copywriting as a profession. I like to write parody songs of Top 40 hip-hop, in addition to original songs about the refractory period, my ex-girlfriend's zit-popping fetish, and break-up emails.
I also want to start a band named Def Cab For Cutie, which would cover Def Leppard songs as if played by Death Cab For Cutie. Our first single would be "Photobooth Photograph."
As if this wasn't enough, I can pick most locks with a credit card. I know when you're home--and when you're not. They didn't even know we was in the house. Deadbolt? I just kick the door in. If I had a family, I'd want to protect them from people like me. (If anybody can find me a copy of this classic ADT commercial I'd be extremely greatful! Yes, I've looked on YouTube.)
And I'm obsessed with this logo:
The following hyperlink contains GRAPHIC CONTENT! That's because it links to my online graphic design portfolio. Check it out!
AugieStyle.com/design
I have a BUTT LOAD of photos on Flickr.com! It is pretty much the greatest photo sharing site ever. Go here:
flickr.com/photos/augiestyle
I'm starting up an 80's-style metal band with a humorous twist. I'll need a lead guitarist, bassist, drummer, and a rhythm guitarist. And, obviously, a lead singer with a really good metal voice, so please, if you can sing like Ronnie James Dio or Vince Neil, you have a sense of humor, you won't mind possibly wearing zebra-print spandex on stage, message me, and/or chat on aim - AugieNo2
Check out the band's MySpace profile here:
MySpace.com/Conditioner

My Interests

hipsters, Scrabble, Tecmo Super Bowl, Zubaz, retrofuturism, stealth fighters, stealth bombers, P-38 Lightnings, UCAVs (Unmanned Combat Air Vehicles, a.k.a. flying red-eyed cyclopean robots that will kill you), WWI biplanes, SWAT team strategy, monster trucks, girls with black hair, girls who wear skinny jeans, black-haired girls who wear skinny jeans, records, vinyl, vintage clothes, vintage clothing, thrift shops, thrift stores, tag sales, eBay, NFL Films, breakdancing, indie rock, t-shirts, old school sneakers, graphic design, art, Atari, iTunes, trying to find the whereabouts of the puppet T.X. Critter (a somewhat ghetto version of Alf from the show Kidstime), asymmetrical aircraft, concept cars, synchronicity

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who can supply me with information that leads to the recovery of T.X. Critter, the puppet from Kidstime on WTXX Channel 20, a kids' tv show exclusive to Connecticut in the 1980's. T.X. is missing, and I've made it my personal mission to hunt him down. I'd hire the A-team--if I could find them. So that's why I need your help. Become T.X. Critter's friend here:
MySpace.com/TXCritter

I'd also like to meet peeps to partake in the following with: Scrabble, racquetball, ping-pong, concerts, thrift shopping.

AOL i.m. - AugieNo2

Music:

Death Cab, Michael McDonald, Def Leppard, Nada Surf, Paul Davis, The Decemberists, Heatmiser, Elliot Smith, Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, Nasty Disaster, Delta Haymax, NFL Films music, Billy Ray Cyrus, The Fools, Zamfir, Brass Bonanza (The Hartford Whalers song), James Taylor, Velcro Pygmies, The Go! Team, The "Say Hey" song in the new BP commercials, Powersword, Chris Rea, Red Wire Black Wire, Crystal Castles, The Western States Motel, 8 Bit Weapon, Mahi Mahi, Boards of Canada, Broadcast, and "Hummingbird" by Seals & Crofts

Movies:


Mad Max, Head Trauma, Star Wars, Tron, Buffalo '66, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Breakin', Bullit, Billy Ray Cyrus: One On One, Waking Life, Marty Hogan: Power Racquetball, The Terminator Trilogy, Wet Hot American Summer, Aerobicise, Catch Me If You Can, The Running Man, North Dallas Forty, Titanic (yeah, I know), School of Rock, Air Supply: Live in Hawaii 1983 (on Laserdisc)

Television:


V (80's sci-fi miniseries), Lingo, Fraggle Rock, Three's Company, Kidstime, NFL Films, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, 1960's Batman, The Price Is Right, W.O.W. Women of Wrestling, 1980's & early 90's WWF, old school educational programs on PBS, Reading Rainbow, South Park, Cheap Seats, Maury (mainly the "help me find the father" shows when he does DNA tests to find out who the baby daddy is)

Books:

Word Freak, Swoosh: The Unauthorized Story of Nike, I Can't Wait Until Tomorrow Cause I Get Better-Looking Every Day by Broadway Joe Willie Namath, Drawing On The Right Side of the Brain, NFL Punt Pass & Kick Library, The Hipster Handbook, Mad Libs, Supercade, Where'd You Get Those? New York City Sneaker Culture: 1960-1987, Breakdancing by Mr. Fresh & The Supreme Rockers, The Penetrator book series featuring Mark Hardin, old magazines, old yearbooks

Heroes:

NFL Films narrator John Facenda (aka The Voice of God), Peter Good (the guy who designed the Hartford Whalers logo), and my high school football coach Sean Marinan--'cause he's tough as nails.

My Blog

Ode to Skinny Jeans

I fucking love girls in skinny jeans.  I think seeing girls in them now has such a profound affect on me because by the time I finally escaped 10 years of Catholic elementary school uniforms and ...
Posted by Augie on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 09:40:00 PST

Wrestling with Career Changes

It all started with Jesse "The Body" Ventura: a professional wrestler from the past doing something no one ever expected him to do.  In Ventura's case, it was becoming Governor of Minnesota, havi...
Posted by Augie on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 01:36:00 PST

Embed-wetting, YouTube style

The saying says, "you made your bed, so lay in it."Recently, YouTube made changes to how we embed, and now we have to lay in it.It totally sucks.  I don't like it. After pressing play, if you put...
Posted by Augie on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 12:13:00 PST

The Quintessence of my Aesthetic

...
Posted by Augie on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:42:00 PST

How do Polocks take LSD?

On acid-free paper.OH!And in case you're concerned, I'm Polish myself, so I have the right to make fun of my own ethnicity.  However, I'm actually half Polish, so I probably should only be allowe...
Posted by Augie on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 12:21:00 PST

there's no time like the present...

to put a stop to childhood cancer!!  It starts with awareness and donations to amazing foundations like Alex's Lemonade Stand.  This fundraiser is giving all the money made to helping find a...
Posted by Augie on Wed, 30 May 2007 10:39:00 PST

Me + 40 + FreeBarPhotos.com =


Posted by Augie on Mon, 21 May 2007 06:30:00 PST

A Forty Like Mine

Ya'll Know What This IsOnly Thing That Keeps Me UpWhen I'm Feelin' DownI Don't Know About YouBut I Gotta Keep Mines AroundCuz I Don' Looked, I Don' Searched, And It's Hard to FindAnother 40 Like MineB...
Posted by Augie on Sat, 19 May 2007 01:41:00 PST

TONIGHT in Hartford: Indie Dance Party - SHAG FRENZY

I'll be having myself a Beer Champagne 40 if you know what i'm sayin.' I'll be leaving my cell phone in the car so don't worry about drunk dials, hahahha! However, I can't gaurantee I won't be singing...
Posted by Augie on Sat, 19 May 2007 01:27:00 PST

Another band I recommend (Esp. if you like Elliott Smith)

The band is called The Western States Motel.Last year they sent me a MySpace message asking me to listen to their music.  I know what you're thinking: so what, I get tons of those messages a mont...
Posted by Augie on Sat, 19 May 2007 12:55:00 PST