Alan profile picture

Alan

What?! Man, I can't be dealing with no Pisces.

About Me

I am the Alpha and the Omega of your dreams. Sometimes I run around yelling "YEAH!" a la Usher. You know, for the irony. I loathe Duke basketball. I'm an African-American writer/producer. Give me money so that I can fly around the world.

My Interests

sports, film, friends, small-venue concerts, comedy, being cheeky, writing, acting, traveling (when I can afford to), drinking, laughing and making others laugh, 24-hour diners, hanging out and doing "whatever," the beach, the Philosobees, the British, WC Soccer, and being just fucking amazing all the damn time

I'd like to meet:

Bryce Capshaw, more than anybody. Christopher Walken. The perfect tumbler of scotch. People who want to give me money. Gentleman Ghost.

Music:

Triangle of Silence, The Wimbledons, The Wrens, Sage Francis, Radiohead, Aesop Rock, Springbok Nude Girls, Weezer, Postal Service, Bad Religion, They Might Be Giants, Social Distortion, Fenix TX, OKGo, Atmosphere, Jurassic 5, Travis, Shins, Blur, The Streets, British Sea Power, Soundgarden, G N' R, Motley Crue, Maureen McGinnis, Tom Petty, Simon and Garfunkel, Keane, Rilo Kiley, Damien Rice, The Elected, Sam Champion, The Futureheads

Movies:

The Silence of the Lambs, In America, Usual Suspects, Raging Bull, Braveheart, The Big Lebowski, Memento, Rounders, Shawshank Redemption, In the Name of the Father, Airplane, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, A Clockwork Orange, Schindler's List, Goodfellas, The Lion in Winter, Blazing Saddles, Godfather I & II, Swingers, Closer, Glengarry Glen Ross, Ghostbusters, Shaun of the Dead, Rejected, Secret of the Sword, "scene 14" from Most Wanted... and so many more... I saw Driving Miss Daisy for my 9th birthday.

Television:

Simpsons (in the 90s), Seinfeld, Sopranos, Sportscenter, Arrested Development, Fawlty Towers, Conan O'Brien, The Office, Daily Show, The State, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Scrubs, Firefly, Looney Tunes, Curb, Lost, Entourage, Da Ali G Show, Battlestar Galactica, Extras, 30 Rock

Books:

Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game, Brave New World, Lord of the Flies, Brain Droppings, The Things They Carried, The Beach, Howard's End, "Will There Ever Be A Rainbow?" by C.M. Burns, In Cold Blood, Shakespeare, Preacher, Long Walk to Freedom, Among the Thugs, The Big Book of British Smiles, Fever Pitch

Heroes:

Bryce Capshaw, The Philosobees, Wayne Gretzky, Nelson Mandela, Ricky Gervais, Billy Beane, Don Rickles, George Carlin

My Blog

Gentleman Ghost

Simply put: the greatest character in all of fiction... And non-fiction...That is all.
Posted by Alan on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 06:23:00 PST

Gone to Cape Town

Later, peoples! I'm out of the country 'til March 5th and that means no checking God-forsaken Myspace. Not because Myspace won't be available to me in my dark continent homeland (it will be), but beca...
Posted by Alan on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 12:37:00 PST

Bryce Capshaw

He's the best.
Posted by Alan on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 04:37:00 PST

Put the World Cup in my mouth

Because I want to eat it. Non-stop. Mmm... so tender, so delicious.
Posted by Alan on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 06:34:00 PST

George Mason

I'm naming all my kids George Mason. 2+2 = George Mason The capital of Zimbabwe is George Mason. I love -- nay. I heart George Mason.   *Currently listening to whatever music George Mason li...
Posted by Alan on Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:59:00 PST

Today is Thursday

It is not Friday. Why did you think it was Friday? Jerk.   Better song: "Hold the Line" by Toto or "Anyway You Want It" by Journey? Discuss.
Posted by Alan on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 12:03:00 PST

Dudes...

Just a reminder: I'm so freaking awesome.
Posted by Alan on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 11:30:00 PST

MERRY BEEFMAS, EVERYBODY!!

Today is Friday, December 30th in our hearts, but Wednesday December 28th in our minds. That means it's BEEFMAS! In honor of Beefmas, enjoy some big ass titties: www.lohanfreestyle.com *Turn on your a...
Posted by Alan on Wed, 28 Dec 2005 10:10:00 PST

Say again?

Hanging out with friends this past Sunday and one girl begins... Girl 1: Don't you guys find it, like, trendy now to have threesomes with 2 guys and a girl? Me: Well, that stuff has been goi...
Posted by Alan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Murderball

I feel I need to share with everyone. Murderball is a fantastic documentary. See it if you have the chance. For those who have seen it, honestly, isn't Zupan's girlfriend the hottest thing ever? I thi...
Posted by Alan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST