GOdSsIN

do you really want to start from here? you know that once we do that there is no turning back. not even to check if any of this was done right. i mean in the long run this will all turn out right? but when was it that i thought i could fool my own self into thinking that there really isnt something else controlling my every decision. how many times must i end up here. finding the same things repeating makes me feed the meaning of needing these reasons to see what it is i am missing. there really is no stop to the madness that is created inside and out of our minds this is only a chance to hear it for what it is. when this was that we all saw what it was that evaded our senses for so long. will anybody understand that there isnt enough time to cover all its ground, so deep and within that it ever-last its very foundations that were once created to hold set onto an idea that everything is under control. lapses in time remind me when i could get to the point a thousand times quicker. look for help no where because its nowhere to be found. i dont know how many more days i must withstand. like a thief robbing of all thats good, i will,.turn away to better hear what it is that is coming across dont fret to long or you could possibly blow a fuse. think about it week after week. it wont make anymore sense than if you were pissed off about it, youve let it out so many times that its starting to run a muck. spreading like a cancer burning like an infected wound. now that you have the ability to make something with it you still manage to fuck it up. or not. i once heard the beat always hits twice. open up and find what it is that makes you tick. but so many reasons are so unreal that when its around its hard to even tell yourself not to just go with the flow of things even if its the evilest thing imaginable go through with it it wont mean as much as when it arises again. you try to write it but it ends up becoming the very thing that skips past you the most. that thing. that thing thats the most. the most high. the most highest wants to be. wants to be the most highest thing. yet you are still in a desperation to deform a creation that could have been the best thing for you. not to even fuckin go back because its as real as that. yet its the same situation that leaves me in another desperation to deprive myself from the mixing of minds that demand an answer for the chaos once created to keep the balance of good and evil. oh so it seems to be. to me at least there is no stop to the problems re-conformed to try and help them understand that it really doesnt matter. of how they go about getting their results. go ahead and take away again which youve once already stole because this time around it really wont fucking matter. just wait, and see it for yourself that the seeds can and have grown without you. and now that youve gone back you tainted that very thing that was once good. just the touch of you is like death. cold as the blood that runs through you. without a heart to pump the fire youre perfect for the job. stress is only in your mind and in the bleach thats on it. it drips like faucets. it sips through your lips. running away onto a crash course of a human being having an effect to its grounded source there is no shock greater than that of an acid dip. flashbacks are spoken of and then repeated to you later. but when it comes back around its in full effect all senses go. with and without its all the same. simple and as complex as it seems you know that there is a way out. or sometimes in. how hard is it for you. to get what you need to. to finally get it. within reach it is at all times. it just depends on how many times you want to draw it in. or when you want to finally get it for yourself. look up once and a while and notice some of the people around you. does that really matter? as much as maybe knowing what two plus two is?