"I am Jack's raging bile duct . . .""I am Jack's cold sweat . . .""I am Jack's complete lack of surprise . . .": "I am Jack's smirking revenge . . .""I am Jack's wasted life . . .""I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection . . .""I am Jack's broken heart . . ."
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one bad ass show.CHI OF EARTH
Date: Mar 31, 2008 9:51 AM
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.
6. Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.12. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
13. Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
15. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
19.When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.
20. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
21. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
22. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
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YOu're a Self-ProClaiMed FReak...aNd yOU're SO stUpId YoU doNt KNOw ur StuPId...
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You are the Assault Rifle!
What Halo Weapon Are You?
brought to you by QuizillaYour results:
You are Green Lantern
Green Lantern
85%
Iron Man
80%
Spider-Man
65%
Robin
55%
Catwoman
55%
Hulk
50%
The Flash
45%
Superman
40%
Supergirl
37%
Wonder Woman
32%
Batman
25%
Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
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