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I am Tina Serena, legendary international TRANSSEXUAL superstar. Of course, you already knew that because I'm famous. My name is a household word. If you've never heard of me, it probably means you're brain dead.
People sometimes mistake me for Paris Hilton, but there's really no comparison. The only thing we have in common is that we both need nose jobs. Anyway, I'm much better looking than she is, and I don't use small furry animals as fashion accessories.
I created this page as a way of saying THANK YOU to my legions of adoring fans. I love you all!
If you're one of those unfortunate souls who hasn't heard of me before, don't despair -- there is hope! All you need to do is find someone even more clueless than yourself and tell them about this page. The more people you tell, the more you'll look like a true fan, and nobody will ever realize just how clueless you used to be.
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What the critics are saying:
"An overnight success, Tina Serena appeared seemingly out of nowhere, taking the world by storm. No one is exactly sure what she's famous for, but we love her anyway. We're closely following her every move, anxiously waiting to see what she'll do next."
- The New Yolk Times
"Everyone is talking about Tina Serena! All the top designers are frantically scrambling to complete new lines of clothing based on Tina's unique sense of style. Industry insiders are saying this is the beginning of a new renaissance in the fashion world, with Tina Serena at the leading edge."
- VAGUE magazine
"Tina Serena is the perfect woman. I'm offering her my entire estate to do a photo shoot for Playbunny. We'll even devote a complete issue just to her. If she agrees, I'll permanently retire from the business and stop publishing Playbunny forever. No one else could ever compare to the perfection of Tina, so there wouldn't be much point in continuing after that."
- Huge Heifer, Playbunny magazine
"Oh my God, like, I am sooooooooo jealous! Tina Serena has a penis and I don't! It's totally not fair! Maybe I could, like, get one surgically implanted. I wonder where I can find a donor?"
- Harris Pilton, spoiled rich kid
"Tina Serena is a shining example of what every human being should aspire to be. She's a model citizen and an inspiration to us all. I'm declaring Tina's birthday to be a national holiday, and I've ordered the Federal Reserve and US Treasury to issue a special Three Dollar Bill with Tina's picture on the front, printed on pink paper."
- President of the United States
"Who doesn't love Tina Serena? She's the talk of the town! The entertainment community is abuzz with speculation on what her next project will be. We know she's already received a number of offers for movie roles, recording contracts, and modeling jobs. It seems there's nothing she can't do!"
- Peeple magazine
