Audrey profile picture

Audrey

I'm going to let my fists do the fisting.

About Me

Where do we get to talk about things that we dislike? I mean, I've found that for compatibility purposes, it's almost more important to *not like* the same things than to have mutual interests.
So here's a list of some things that I hate: Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer/Jason Mraz (basically any faux-sensitive male singer-songwriter; Chris Carraba, this means you), pointy-toed shoes and bad 80s fashion in general, artificial banana flavoring, veganism, Vin Diesel and his mooky ilk, LA Lakers/NY Yankees and their bourgeois fans, having to wake up early (never trust anyone who willingly gets up before 8am), Avril Lavigne, Paris Hilton, extremes in weather, sweating, passive-aggressiveness, tanning, hipster indier-than-thou attitude, bad spelling/grammar, tangled-up wire hangers, bitchy Asian girls, patchouli stink, teh IM tlk, emoticons, Cranium, Colin Quinn, high pitched voices and bad laughs, improper/lack of handwashing, hockey, adult HarryPotterphiles, drunk Injuns, people who wear clothing that designates them a "princess" or "pimp," they who mistake the insipid for the profound, ugly knit ponchos, "w00t," willfully shallow existences, anyone/anything affiliated with Blue Collar TV, people who wear Livestrong (et al.) wristbands, the "complexity" of Crash, leggings.
And despite all of the above, I'm not nearly as much of a bitch as one might think. Just particular.

My Interests

celebrity gossip, gossip about people I actually know, everything pop culture, karaoke, Kerastase, TiVo, eating way too quickly, winning contests, free stuff, surveys, lists, cheese, Potbelly's , trivia, doin' the crossword, practicing good oral hygiene (huh huh...oral), movie trailers, parentheses, purses, words, Seattlest , public health, biting, advertising, people-watching, KEXP, off-color/offensive humor, Heeeelium! , wine-tastings, excessive condiment use, irrational and intense dislike of individuals based on little to nothing, keeping up with current events and shit.

I'd like to meet:

M.I.A. and Shakira, so that we may writhe around naked together, to be followed by some intellectual and political discourse.

Music:

Really, I like just about anything that's good. I could list and list and list, but to keep it brief I'll delineate what I listen to as follows---
Now and forever: Pavement, Radiohead, anything that stirs the spirits. Everything I needed to know I learned from The Arcade Fire. "Awesome."
A little while ago: Bjork, Cinerama, Squarepusher, Flaming Lips, Motown, Built to Spill, Princess Superstar, The New Pornographers, The Who, Guided By Voices, mid-90s Britpop, The Shins, Wilco, Kanye, Broken Social Scene, Franz Ferdinand, A.C. Newman, Magnetic Fields, The Concretes, Manitoba, M83.
In the less-distant past: The Thermals, TV on the Radio, The Walkmen, The Stills, stellastarr*, The Killers, Ambulance LTD, Rilo Kiley, Interpol (especially "Evil"), Bright Eyes, Kings of Convenience, M. Ward, The Dears, M.I.A., Mando Diao, The Futureheads, The Go! Team, Spoon, Bloc Party. The last Fiona Apple album ain't bad neither. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Sufjan Stevens, The Unicorns, Wolf Parade, Dungen, Sigur Ros, Jamie Lidell, new New Pornographers, Animal Collective, Art Brut, Irving, Islands, new M. Ward, The Grates, Girl Talk, Kristoffer Ragnstam, Regina Spektor, Dr. Dog, Mew, Figurines, Emily Haines, new TVotR, Forward Russia!, Ladyhawk, +/-, The Little Ones, Joanna Newsom, Scanners.
Lately: Of Montreal, Annuals, Scissors for Lefty, Mates of State.

Movies:

Godfather(s) I+II, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, American Splendor, Y Tu Mama Tambien, City of God, Moulin Rouge (first 45 minutes in particular), Lost in Translation, You Can Count on Me, The Graduate, Annie Hall, Fight Club, Three Kings, Stander, Me and You and Everyone We Know, Junebug, The Squid and the Whale, Mysterious Skin, Hustle and Flow, March of the Penguins, Darwin's Nightmare, any: Kaufman/Jonze collaboration, Paul Thomas Anderson, Wes Anderson.

Television:

The Daily Show/Colbert Report, Chappelle's Show, The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, Scrubs, Buffy, Arrested Development (the smartest, funniest show on TV ever, hands-fucking-down), Da Ali G Show (especially Borat segments), Six Feet Under, Lost, ATHF, Project Runway, The Wire, Deadwood (aka "Everybody's a Cocksucker"). Guilty pleasure: Law and Order of any variety. The O'Reilly Factor if I wanna get mad.

Books:

Haruki Murakami, David Sedaris, Jorge Luis Borges, Charles Bukowski, Henry Miller, Chuck Klosterman, Dave Eggers, Neal Pollack, Michael Chabon, Eric Schlosser, Jared Diamond, David Rees , McSweeney's ( John Moe! ), Vice, Entertainment Weekly, The Economist, NYT op-ed, the New Yorker. Additionally, I spend way too much time looking words up in the dictionary.

Heroes:

We can be heroes, just for one day.

My Blog

Stereotypes are true

Last night, we're watching Black Gold, a documentary about the fair trade coffee industry in Ethiopia. And guess who decides to talk during the entire fucking film? A bunch of Africans. Sitting direct...
Posted by Audrey on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 03:01:00 PST

Just for Glenn

The best part of last night's Arctic Monkeys show wasn't the intimate venue or the free ticket or even the band's tight set.  Nope, it was spending the whole evening hanging out with a couple...
Posted by Audrey on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:26:00 PST

Please please please let me get what I want

Just about the only thing I've accomplished of late is winning this.
Posted by Audrey on Wed, 19 Oct 2005 10:34:00 PST

Funnier written than spoken

I google things, like, a googol times a day.
Posted by Audrey on Sat, 03 Sep 2005 10:24:00 PST

Q&A

Q: How's about those front-row spots at the M.I.A./LCD Soundsystem show? A: Yes, oh God yes, oh sweet Jesus yes, yes. Q: Is it true that M.I.A. is the hottest thing on two feet? A: Yes, oh God yes, oh...
Posted by Audrey on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Two recent pseudo-brushes with quasi-fame

On Thursday night, I get ridiculously drunk at the Danko Jones/The Comas/Mando Diao show.  Jeremey and I end up befriending The Comas after their set and hang out with them for the rest of the n...
Posted by Audrey on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

2 things about Indians and 1 about a pirate

1) On my way home from work Monday, there's an old drunk Injun sitting on the stoop of a coffeeshop. His white hair is pulled back into a haphazard ponytail and his skin is pockmarked and weathered. A...
Posted by Audrey on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Beyond typical

Jonathan Safran Foer was in town yesterday for two book readings: an all-ages affair in the afternoon and one last night at a bar (followed by a dance party, of course). As I'm coming home from a har...
Posted by Audrey on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Finally!

The Go! Team will be playing at Neumo's on Monday, July 18th. 21+. To say this makes me exceedingly happy would be a vast understatement. And that'll be my birthday week to boot....
Posted by Audrey on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

More dealings with idiocy

But thankfully, not with the aforementioned Meathead. Instead, our story opens at Ruby (on the Ave.), where, after a day of being in a foul mood, all I want is a drink--- K: I'll have a bourb...
Posted by Audrey on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST