Pego The Jerk

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My Confessions:
I once hung my sister's teddy bear from a support beam, noose-style, along with my future brother-in-law in her brand new apartment.
I once OD'd on caffeine and could not breathe normally and focus on driving simultaneously for months to come. I have had severe anxiety problems since.
I once OD'd on a designer hallucinogen (that doesn't exist in the US) because a friend swore he knew the proper dosage. He didn't. I was stuck in retard land for a month or so. I haven't had hallucinogenics since.
I once met a strange girl in a French Quarter bar in New Orleans within 5 minutes of being there - she took me upstairs to her apartment (directly over the bar) and had me do things that didn't do much for me, but did a lot for her. When it was my turn, she kicked me out. On my way out I saw photos of her and her boyfriend. I feel bad for her boyfriend.
I once put 5 bucks in a slot machine and told the girl I was with she could have the money if I won. It poured out more than a few hundred dollars. I'm still pissed she didn't at least tip me. Not even a drink.
I once drew a graveyard with the substitute teachers name on the front headstone in second or third grade. She took it away and put my name on the board along with 3 check-marks to boot. I did it because she had taken away my plastic ants, which were still in the bag in my desk. I loved those damn things. I still dislike her.
I once helped my older neighbor put condoms in all the mailboxes on our street. When the neighbor's dad (they were HIS condoms) confronted my step-dad about the situation, my step-father asked me, I cried, and he vouched for me. I still hate myself for lying about it. Though I would have probably been given some Sex Education Consciousness Community Award if I was a few years older and lived in San Fransisco.
I once taped a cats paws, whiskers, and tail down to see how her balance was affected. She loved me even after that. I miss her.
I apparently once told my little sister that green beans are baby snakes. I really don't remember doing that, but it definitely sounds like something I would have done. She still won't eat green beans as I understand it.
I once drew the clothed women in Sears catalogs as nude and kept them under my bed. One day I came home and they were all gone. I suspect my step-father, but I call it even because I used to take his porn, too. I hope he at least got a kick out of them before he threw them away or took them to a preist to be burned or whatever.
I once was visited by a dead woman in dorms at Oklahoma City University. The dorm mom told me she was real and cried when I told her about the "dream" I had. It wasn't a dream. She was apparently a suicide from many years back. She simply told me "everything is going to be okay" and left. I believe her.
I once believed I will die young. I still do.
I once stole a girl from her boyfriend because he beat her. She left me because I was too sexually freakish. I once stole another girl from her boyfriend simply because I liked her. She left me for another guy.
I once lived from couch to couch, even street to street in a manner of speaking. I have had roofs over my head consistently for nearly a decade now, but still feel like I am homeless.
I once took mushrooms at Disneyland. Don't do that.
I once received brain damage from a football accident so severe, I to this day have memory loss of an extreme level and continue to have disheartening short term memory recollection problems. Most of my family either didn't believe me or didn't know. Too bad I can't forget that.
I once had a fight with my father about who-the-hell-knows-what. I stopped talking to him out of anger and stubbornness. He died and I never got to say I am sorry. I have never been more sorry in my life.
I once got paid to be a nude model at a seedy photo shoot. I know what some females must feel like in that situation. Because of that I get angry at the thought of guys releasing the private photos sessions of their girlfriends on the net without permission.
I once made love to a stranger at a Renaissance fair because it started to rain as she closed up her jewelry shop. We just dropped to the dirt and made love without knowing each other. It continued to rain for days. We were stranded at the ren fair because it flooded and turned into an island full of knights, fires, and laughter. I know I won't regret that on my deathbed.
I once left a rose for a girl in her laundry basket because I was too scared to talk to her. She approached me years later and told me she knew it was me and it scared her. I don't leave flowers for girls anymore.
I once ran away from home because life there was getting very hard to deal with physically and mentally. I never came back home to live. Had life been fair and easy like every child initially expects it to be, I would no doubt be rich and 'normal' right now. I prefer life this way.
I once put a teachers little gold bell in the trash because she wouldn't quit ringing that damn thing. We were like 9 or something, lady. Nine year olds talk a lot. Get over it. (or actually teach in an interesting manner. Novel idea, I know.)
I once drank like it would never catch up to me. I can't do that anymore. I don't.
I once took more drugs (and played more rock-n-roll) than any man should be capable of surviving. I did survive, and now I don't take any drugs. I still play rock-n-roll.
I once believed in God. I still do.
I once thought all I needed was a girl who loved me, who I loved, and who I found incredible in the sack. I now know the third thing is just a bonus.
I once as a child let a guy beat the hell out of me in the park because he didn't like my hat. I have spent the rest of my life stopping fights by offering myself as the victim in place of the person who seemed to be the target of a bully. The bullies have always without exception backed away from me and stopped when I do this. This happens more than you would believe.
I once had a cat that an ex dumped on me because she was too self involved to care for it. It ran away soon after. I still feel like I did something wrong.
I once got a skinhead kicked out of a bar because he threatened to kill me after I called him out for cutting in front of 6 people at the bathroom. Fucking asshole.
I was once approached by a guy claiming to be from the NSA. He said I had the opportunity to come work for them if I agreed to a sort of college program of theirs, and worked off the time spent learning by working for their program for an alloted period of time. You still couldn't pay me to do that.
I once ran one of the largest pirate BBS's in the world. I held great power in the underground world of hacking, cracking, ANSi, and phreaking. I was still too young to drive.
I once sold paintings at a corner convenience store in Austin, Texas. I made more money there than anywhere else I've sold them.
I once sang Doors songs in New Orleans on stage, loaded, fell off the stage, and got a standing ovation. I miss New Orleans.
I once had a cousin kill himself while I was still a kid. When the parents were driving off in limos to bury him, I swore I could see him looking through the blinds of his room as the procession left. I still wonder.
I once pinned a guy in a wrestling match in a matter of seconds by throwing him over my hips. I can still do that. I once had a coach tell me to win a match by using my fore-arm to nearly break a guys nose. I will never do that again.
I once broke a girls heart. Then another. Then another. .. .. I am sorry.
PegoTheJerk
I was just recently cast in a small role in a movie being shot here in Oklahoma this summer by Vacant Era Films. It's exciting. I've been an extra before, but never an actor.I'm a musician, photographer, oil painter, and general artist. I play guitar, drums, bass, keys, lead vocals, engineer, produce, and I write songs. I finished an album, Zero-Brane - "Death Does Now Silence My Song", last year and I'm working on a new one. It's a lot more dark folk-y and stranger than the last one.I have a dog I rescued from the pound. She's part australian shepard. Her name is Moosh. My brother recently had to give me his huge pit mix. His name is Frank. I called him Hank accidently a LOT.I love going to the movies alone. Rock climbing kicks much butt. So does catching tadpoles. Also, I think warm rain in thunderstorms are romantic.There is a time and a place for being serious. I'm pretty sure they won't let me in that place, and I rarely wear a watch.I don't really like video games, but I do play Tiger Woods golf on the Wii. I've tried other games, but they don't capture my attention.. which is a good thing as it gets me outside in the sun doing fun stuff a lot.I am a big baseball and football fan.I think about the legacy I might or might not leave behind, and how it will or won't influence mankind in the future. I most often cross my fingers and hope that whatever happens, what I left behind convinces more of mankind to use sporks more often. This will be my gift to the world, one can only hope.I think wind is awesome, but not 30 days in a row. Booooo, oklahoma.I think about how there is no color underground. At least, not without photons from some source. And then I generally think about cool phosphorescent animals, minerals, plants, and fungus. That's about the time I decide I'm thinking too much and should go play.
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