Juggalo 666: Jessica Lynn Manson xXx

Saving the WorldCHAPTER ONELOOK: I LIVE YOUR DYING CURSE: I LIVE MORE THAN THEY EVER WILL SUBJECTED AS I AM CAGED IN FLESH HOWLING AFTER YOU, AS A WOLF FALLEN IN THE SHEEP'S PASTURE, THEIR DEAD EYES STARING ON LIVE: THE ONLY THING I WOULD HAVE BEGGED YOU NEVER TO ASKLIVE.I WAS DEAD WHEN YOU FELLAND YOU, ICARUS, HAND OUTSTRETCHED AND SCORCHED WITH THEIR BREATH YOU, WINGS AFLAME TO YOUR SHOULDER BLADES, YOUR SKIN BLACKENED AND CURLED THEY DONT LOOK KINDLY ON ANGELS HERE ~ YOU, SUNSPOTTED BLISTERED, LIFTING UP THE SCORPION THAT STINGS YOUR PALM THEY MEWLED LIKE KITTENS ON YOUR THOUSAND GRAVES, SCRATCHING AT THE DIRT, THEY KNEW YOU~ AND YOU NEVER KNEW WHEN TO LET GO YOU GOT YOURS AND I KNELT SCREAMING IN THE RAIN, WHO WERE YOU TRYING TO SAVE WHEN WE BOTH WERE LOST?YOU, MOTHER, SISTER, LOVE, HEALER, SAVIOR, MISSIONARY LITTLE GIRL PLAYING AT COSTUMES GONE EVERY TIME I TURNED AROUNDWHAT DID THEY NEED FROM YOU THAT DREW YOU, MAGNETS THAT I NEVER WHISPERED IN THE DEPTH OF SOME NIGHT? DONT CALL IT JEALOUSY, YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND, BUT WHY WHY CAST YOURSELF OVER THAT EDGE, AGAIN AND AGAIN, FINGERS LIKE CAT TAILS ON MY CHEEK AND ALWAYS ALWAYS WITH THAT LAST HATEFUL WHISPERLIVE.WHAT ARE THEY TO YOU, THE ONES WITH YOUR BLOOD ON THEIR STUPID CATTLE HOOVES, THE ONES WHO PULLED AWAY, FEARING, WHEN I CRIED YOUR ETERNAL NAME WHAT THAT YOU WOULD GO ON LEAVING ME, CURSE ME, DAMN ME TO FOREVER AND OVER AND OVER OF THIS? I WAS NEVER MEANT TO SAVE YOU: THEY MADE ME HATE YOU AS I LOVE YOU HATE YOU FOR THE LEAVING, FOR MY LIVING FOR YOU LOVE.YOU, MARY, MOTHER OF ALL I AM MOTHER OF GOD'S FAVORITE MISTAKE I TOUCH THE SICK AND THEY ARE DYING, WEAR THE THORNS LIKE A HELMET, BLOOD OF MY PUNCTURED HANDS ACID I HAVE NEVER TURNED WATER TO WINE BUT I HAVE MADE EVERY RIVER RUN RED ~ YOU, MARY, HOLY ONE AND I, ALL I CAN BE ALL YOU HAVE MADE ME, ALL THEY HAVE MADE MESO WHY WON'T YOU MAKE THIS STOP?CHAPTER 2THEY DONT LOOK KINDLY ON ANGELS HERE BUT THAT I'M SURE YOU KNOW, HOW LONG WAITING IN YOUR OWN SHADOW, SLIM BLADE POOR DEFENSE FOR WHAT NEEDED GUARDING MOST SEE THROUGH YOU LIKE GLASS, NOTHING AT CENTER TO BLOCK THE VIEW SHOULD I ASK, GIVE VOICE TO WHAT I SEE TATTOOED INSIDE WHERE WERE YOU, WHERE, WHEN I WAS LOST? WHEN SHE WAS TAKEN, GONE SO MANY TIMES? WHERE WAS THE WING THAT SHOULD HAVE CURLED OVER MY SHOULDER?NO MATTER NOW; IT EVENS OUT I FELL THROUGH YOUR FINGERS TO THIS BURNING BUT YOURS WERE THE EMPTY HANDS HOW FITTING FOR THE ONE WHO TRIED TO HOLD ON AND HOLD ON WILL THOSE HANDS RAISE AGAINST ME NOW WHEN I DARKEN YOUR SKY? SHALL I BE A HUNDRED TIMES BETRAYED? WILL THEY STRETCH OUT INSTEAD TO MY SKIN IN HEALING? WILL Y0U ONLY LET ME FLY BRIGHT EYES, SO BRIGHT, DRESSED IN MOURNING?BLESS ME FATHER FOR I HAVE LOST THE LION HAS STOOD UP FROM THE LAMB AND I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO CLOSE MY EYES HELP HIM, WON'T YOU GOD NOW THAT HE HAS BECOME EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED IN A SON...HOW LONG WITHOUT EVEN HEAVEN'S CARRION COMFORT?AND THINK CAREFULLY, GUARDIAN, FAILURE, BEFORE YOU STOP MY LEAP; WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FOR YOUR TIME IN WAIT? HAVEN'T YOU EVER CAST EYES TO THE VOID HAVEN'T YOU DREAMED OBLIVION?I DONT THINK WE'RE SO DIFFERENT BUT I THINK THERE ARE THINGS I COULD STILL TEACH YOU SO EASY, SO SOFT, HORROR'S KISS NEVER DOUBT YOU COULD COME TO UNDERSTAND ONE WING DIPPED IN BLOOD THINK ON IT CAREFULLY, ISN'T IT TIME WE WERE DONE?OUR ENDLESS AIMLESS LINKED CHAINS, RUST AND SILVER, COMING BACK TO THE BEGINNING AGAIN ALWAYS EVERY BREATH THAT'S DIED UNDER YOUR FINGERS THINK ON IT ~WHICH DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SAVE?CHAPTER THREESHALL I BE A HUNDRED TIMES BETRAYED? RIDDLE ME THIS FATHER, YOUR TITLE OF PRIEST, TWIN MURDERED CHILDREN HOVER HERE WOULD CALL YOU BETRAYER HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER THEM? WOULD YOU?A BOY'S VOICE CRYING AFTER YOU BEGGING RESCUE, AND YOUR EYES ON THE STARS SLOWLY SPLITTING IN HALVES AT YOUR BACK SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE, FATHER, HAVE YOUR HEARD THEM ECHOING IN THESE HALLS OF COLD, ECHOES, DYING, DRIVING YOU BEHIND A MASK, ARE WE STILL WITH YOU FATHER? ARE YOU HAUNTED?DO YOU SEE HER FACE IN DREAMS THEN? THE SMALL SMILE AT MY SCREAM, DWINDLING IN YOUR EYES AS YOU SHRANK DOWN AT HER FEET DADDY'S DYING IN THE BACKYARD, WHAT A GOOD SHOW DADDY IS DO YOU SEE ME, SPLIT WITH LIGHT, SPLIT BUT FOR ONCE, JOINED IN DESIRE NOT PURPOSE, SAVING AND KILLING WITH A SINGLE BREATH, AS CHOSEN? DO YOU SEE ME TAKE THE MONSTER'S PAW AND WALK OFF INTO THE SKY?AND WHY SHOULD I CARE, FATHER? THEY ARE YOUR GHOSTS, ONLY MY BEGINNINGS SHOULD YOU DARE TO COME BEFORE ME, WILL I ASK YOU? WOULD YOU ANSWER?ABSENCES FELT AS PRESENCES: A DEAF EAR, A BLIND EYE YOU NEVER SAW ME CLIMB TO BEING, BORN SHOW IN AGONY, NEVER SAW THE FIRST TODDLING STEPS INTO THE GRUESOME OVERLIGHT, YOU NEVER SAW AND YOU NEVER CAME MURDERED CHILDREN, TIED TO MY BACK NOW, POINTING SKELETON FINGERS WITH EYES THAT SAY SILENTLY, YOU.THAT'S WHAT YOU FEAR, ISN'T IT? THATS WHAT YOU LOOK FOR IN MY LUNATIC'S EYESADMIT IT FATHER CONFESS TO ME THE CRIME, THE FEAR, THE GHOSTS IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE NOW, WE ALL KNOW YOU OF OLD CALL IT RETALIATION.SHE TOLD YOU WHO YOU WERE AND YOU PASSED EACH WORD, FAITHFUL, TO MY HANDS, BURIED IN MY EVIL BEFORE I EXISTED PACK ANIMAL, CARRYING YOUR LOAD BAD BECAUSE YOU NEEDED IT YOUR ASSASSIN NOW, YOUR CREATURE, YOU MY PARASITE INSTEADBUT STILL I DONT HATE YOU I REMEMBER HOLDING YOU, INSIDE I REMEMBER US HIDING TOGETHER, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ALL MINE ONCE WE WERE FOUND I REMEMBER HAVING THE STRENGTH, AND YOU, SHAKING, SHAKING ME WITHIN, SO AFRAID, SO UNABLE, AND I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER US.CANT YOU?KEPT ME OUT, KEPT ME AWAY CAN'T HAVE OUR MONSTERS PROWLING OUR SAFEST PLACES CALLED YOU COWARD BUT WE ARE BOTH AFRAID: BUT YOU HIDE IN THE LIGHT, THATS ALLAND CAN YOU STILL HEAR THE VOICES IN THE DIM METAL THE STRANGE LIGHTS GLARING, NO ANSWER TO OUR CRIES ONLY YOU AND ME, OUR US, MY BURDEN, YOUR FUTILE FANTASY, NEVER THINK THAT YOU DESERVED IT. NEVER THINK OF GOOD PAIN, OF CLEANSING FIRE. YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.I, THE CHRIST CHILD TRUMPET TO MY LIPS JUDGEMENT IN ONE HAND CRASHING DOWN LIKE THUNDER (MOTHER USED TO SAY IT WAS ANGELS DANCING) ALL HEAVEN'S WEAPONS AT MY BACK A LITTLE HOLY DEATH, A LITTLE DIVINE RECKONING A SCOURGE ON ALL THESE LANDS HEAVY WITH YOUR WALKING DISEASE YOU WHO LEFT ME, YOU WHO LOST ME, YOU WHO MADE ME WHO I AM SEE WHAT IT HAS COME TO NOW COME AND WATCH THE SHOWCOME ON. LETS SEE THE WHITES OF YOUR EYES. EVERY LAMB TO SLAUGHTER I'LL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS GLORY I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO CRADLE GOD'S WRATH OR SOMEONE'S WRATH ANYWAY THIS IS MY INTENT, MY PURPOSE , MY REASON, MY REALITY THE ONLY EXPLANATION I EVER NEED THIS IS WHAT I UNDERSTANDTHIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW THROUGH IT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN CONFESS THAT YOU LOVED HER, CONFESS THAT YOU LET HER THIS BLADE BRINGS US BOTH PEACENO USE FOR YOUR PETTY HEALING YOUR ANXIOUS CLOUDS OF APOLOGY YOU NEVER GAVE HALF WHAT YOU TOOK, MISGUIDED AND INVERTED THERE IS NO NOBILITY IN SACRIFICE; I DONT LOVE YOU AND I DONT PITY YOU AND YOU WON'T SAND THE BURN OF HER SMILE FOR MY INFANT SKINFATHER, BETRAYER, FATHER OF BETRAYAL;YOU.CHAPTER FOURCONFESS TO ME THE CRIME YOU'RE THE ONE TO BLAME, AT LAST, WHEN ALL THE BODIES HAVE BEEN CLEARED AWAY; IN THEIR CENTER, YOU STAND WIDE EYED, SOAKED IN BLOOD, FINGER AIMED INTO ME LIKE A BULLET YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY, INSIDE LIKE A PARASITE THATS THE WAY YOU ALWAYS SAW IT AND I ONLY SAVED YOU BECAUSE YOU BIRTHED ME; FEEL YOU COWER AND RUN AS I TWIST, HOWL, BURN FEEL THEM FLOOD THE ACHING ANCIENT CHANNELS LITTLE RATS FEET SHOD IN JAGGED GLASS DANCING ON FORGOTTEN PASSAGES, BLUE FIRE IN RUNES ON MY EYES BORN TO PAIN; FEEL HER HANDS IN THE DARK, HER BREATH, HEAR THE VOICE THINK FATHER WERE IS FATHER AND FEEL THE HATE FIRST BEGIN FEEL THIS FEEL ALL OF THIS EVERYTHING I TOOK AWAY FROM YOU WHEN YOU GAVE IT EVERYTHING THAT WAS ALWAYS MINEOH, LITTLE ONE, I COULD TELL YOU STORIES. SO LET OUT THE MONSTER, SMILE YOUR GOOD MORNING WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?WHY WON'T YOU TAKE IT BACK?CHAPTER FIVECALL IT RETALIATION, RESENTMENT, INSANITY. CALL ME MONSTER, CALL ME VICTIM. SWATHE ME UP BANDAGED IN A HUNDRED THOUSAND STORIES EXPLAIN ME, RATIONALIZE ME MAKE ME A CASE AND NEVER THINK OF ANY TRUTH UNDER MY SKIN;LIVE?YESI LIVE.COPYRIGHT @ JESSICA LACIO (HAMMETT) 2008