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Michael

Killing Me Won't Bring Back Your Goddamn Honey!

About Me

Still maintaining my place as an elite SF public transportation "seat sniper." Currently being apprenticed into the world of baking and pastries, seeking to understand the alchemy latent within flour and eggs. I part-time as a focus group whore, not completely by choice but by economic circumstance. Occupationally, I'm devoted to putting hot beef and warm liquids down your (or someone else's) throat. Powered by El Farolito goodness, actual friends, the gift of being a fashion retard, warm boxes of binary code, multiple pairs of Reebok Classics and all forms of meaningful art. Will flock to anything with the words "Royal" and/or "Rumble" in the title. Embarrassed by the fact that I have a Sleater-Kinney shirt for each day of the week. Obsessed with the hope of making "frak" part of the English lexicon. If asked nicely, will tell you the story of how I stole duck eggs as a child and then promptly blush. And contrary to popular opinion, I'm still not funny.

My Interests

Being able to eat. As in affording to. Using my mutant abilities to absorb any form of art like a sponge. Oh yeah, curing cancer would probably be a good hobby, too.

Music:

In no particular order: Godspeed You Black Emperor!, Quasi, DJ Shadow, D-Styles, DJ Q-Bert, Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Carl Ives, Esquivel, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Cat Power, Louis Armstrong, Dan the Automator, Le Tigre, Portishead, Ladytron, Stereolab, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Aimee Mann, Fiona Apple, Johnny Cash, Blur, Rilo Kiley, the White Stripes, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Radiohead, Run DMC, that dog, Dan the Automator, Kathleen Edwards, Invisibl Skratch Piklz, J5, Led Zeppelin, Gene Krupa, Bjork, Kool Keith, Massive Attack, PJ Harvey, the Cure, the Who, Public Enemy, Charlie Parker, Mount Sims, Outkast, Kool Keith, NWA, Jay-Z, Jawbreaker, and a whole lot more than I can remember. And lastly, my favorite band of all is Sleater-Kinney. Anyone who knows me knows that already, but needless to say, they're the only band that I've almost died trying to see. And I say that with pride.

Movies:

Way Too Many To Choose, but here's 4 that I'd keep if every other movie ever filmed was destroyed by a big-ass meteor: 1) Conquest of the Planet of the Apes 2) It's A Wonderful Life 3) Escape from New York 4) Out of Sight...oh, and of course these:

Television:

Yes, I watch TV. Sorry, but I gotta do something with these rabbit-ears! Here's are the current rulers of my world: Battlestar Galactica, Lost, Smallville, Veronica Mars, the Shield, 24, Rescue Me, Heroes, Family Guy, Lost, Curb Your Enthusiasm, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the Daily Show and my list of lamented finished shows that live on in DVD form: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, the Office, Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me, Adventures of Pete & Pete, Strangers With Candy, Chappelle's Show, the Batman/Superman Adventures, SG:CTC, Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, UCB.

Books:

Choke & Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk, Crash & the Drowned World by J.G. Ballard, My Dark Places & the Black Dahlia by James Ellroy, Fahrenheit 451 by Bradbury, the Catcher in the Rye by Salinger, The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, I Am Legend by Richard Matheson, Botchan by Natsume Soseki. And the comics, either Y: The Last Man or Runaways by Brian K. Vaughn, the Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Sleeper by Ed Brubaker & Sean Phillips, Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, any comics by Adrian Tomine & the Sentry by Paul Jenkins & Jae Lee.

Heroes:

Max Fischer, Rushmore Yankee (1985-1997) Ampersand, the helper monkey (and Yorick, the non-monkey).

My Blog

The Lego Ultimatium

During this wild and wooly political season, there's been an unhealthy interest in the media's need to find out what our favorite celebrities feel about the candidates. One of the more interesting of...
Posted by Michael on Thu, 09 Oct 2008 11:36:00 PST

The Political Arena (or Yes We Can?)

Now when I watch the increasingly heated coverage of the upcoming election, a few things cross my mind: politicians crying out against the tide of current party politics, how fast the issue of the eco...
Posted by Michael on Sat, 06 Sep 2008 12:27:00 PST

Because Child Abuse Is So Fucking Cute

Oh, the 80's. So when did beating your kids stop being so adorable? If I knew getting my ass kicked by my parents would've gotten me on TV, then I wouldn't have ever called Child Protectiv...
Posted by Michael on Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:52:00 PST

Technology Must Pay

Seriously, to get paid to kick cameras is something I dream of. That and having a Nerf war in a mansion. The only question is how would I get into a mansion. Oh well. In the meantime ...
Posted by Michael on Fri, 23 May 2008 08:31:00 PST

Blog Of The Dead

So, who goes to the video store anymore? With the advent of Nexflix, Blockbuster Online, the shitty GreenCine indie movie delivery service that I subscribe to, there's a lot of choices to not go outs...
Posted by Michael on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:58:00 PST

Violence Solves Everything

So, I just completed a survey that a friend made available to me through the Internets. Right, blah blah, so what, right? Well, thankfully, this survey made me realize the true nature of my existenc...
Posted by Michael on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 05:38:00 PST

Indoor Dumpster Diving

So, it’s been a while. I’ve been busy cleaning and reorganizing, being mocked for cleaning and doing other such nonsense. But I’ve just recently discovered the awesomeness of thrif...
Posted by Michael on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 04:46:00 PST

The Law Of Diminishing Returns

Note: I wrote a couple of weeks ago, so it's dated. And it's a movie rant. So heaven help those that keep reading...Christmas is a special time of year. It's a time where people will fly from one s...
Posted by Michael on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 10:26:00 PST

Scary Days

I took a week off from work to study and get prepared for finals. It's day 4 of said time off and what have my days consisted of? Not much, due to the flu/fever that I caught this weekend that boile...
Posted by Michael on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 11:43:00 PST

Im Not Going Back To The Assholes That Made Me

Pop quiz, hot shot: what does one do when they find themselves alone in San Bruno, lost and desperately trying to find their appointed video game playtest so that they might make a day's hard wages in...
Posted by Michael on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 01:01:00 PST