Beastkontroller profile picture

Beastkontroller

Are these morons getting stupider, or just louder?

About Me

Like everyone, I'm crapping all the time. As often as once daily. This annoys me. If we were really created by a benevolent god, couldn't he at least have made it possible for us to process all of our waste into liquid? Honestly, I'm so tired of the whole ass-wiping thing. And the smell!

My Interests

lying down, eating fancy sugar straight from the bag

I'd like to meet:

Actually I'd rather not; please stay where you are. I know this whole internet thing is controlled by robots, but it's "whom", okay? "Who" is a subject; "whom" is an object. It's really not that fuckin' complicated.

Music:

It's strictly Nintendo-Entertainment-System-inspired Chicken-dance Tejano for me. In fact, if you'll excuse me I've got to go finish airbrushing a disproportionately busty Virgin Mary on the hood of my tricked-out '86 Tercell.

Movies:

Are a ubiquitous form of popular entertainment? I'm not sure what they're looking for here. Is this test short-answer or essay?

Television:

I got a color set now. I like to turn it on and look at all them broads in the short skirts. Goddamn, what a world.

Books:

I use them to level my kitchen table where I sit and eat flesh. Laser-beam-charred human flesh.

Heroes:

Charlie Mopps, the man who invented beer; Gumby, he can walk into any book; Jerry Reed, who in spite of having a long way to go and a short time to get there, did what they said couldn't be done