Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hey all...in order to fund my 'lavish lifestyle' I work in other people's homes! I can do anything and everything from painting walls to baking bread and getting your dirty laundry done! My rates are reasonable and my schedule is very flexible as I spend the rest of my time writing, reading and doing a host of things that do NOT make me any money! And OH! I HATE BAD ENGLISH!!!
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.netWhat else can I tell you about myself? Mmmm...I can't help it but I'm witty, this irritates and confuses some people! I am fast & faithful to my friends, I love quiet nights at home and crazy nights out on the town! I am very 'fancy' but love doing things that are pretty down-to-Earth! Take me to a cabin on the Chesapeake Bay or to a lounge in Manhattan and you will be impressed (or horrified) by my manners!But what can you expect! He was a childhood mentor!And occasionally like her...Yeah...I constantly stick my foot in my mouth...its a latent obsession.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

People, of the intelligent and humanoid variety. Preferably with an interest in books, art, writing, travel, cooking and Manhattans, my new favorite drink. Someone who feels the way I do, in the qoute next to my pic!And: CHRISTINE AMANPOUR! This seems to be the best clip of her on youtube!And Her...well, it WOULD have been nice!

Music:

De Peche Mode, Duran Duran, Amy Winehouse, Lilly Allen, Violent Femmes, I recently rediscovered my love of Portishead. Kylie Minogue, especially now that its summer. Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone, Bjork (when I'm in the mood), Belle & Sebastian, The Gypsy Kings, The Buena Vista Social Club, Astrid Gilberto, The Mamas & the Papas (when I'm doing hippie things like the beach or hiking), Hip-Hop (if I'm in the mood), Classical, Opera (especially La Boheme)...I have to be honest!

Television:

I tried to get into Ugly Betty. I tried to get into Grey's Anatomy. I tried to get into the Adult Swim Line-up. I just have to admit I'm too smart for TV! Well...at least I have more interesting things to do!

Books:

No, 1 all time fave: A Prayer For Owen Meany (all John Irving), No 2, all time fave: The Pillars of the Earth! And in no particular order: Great Expectations, Anna Karenina, Running with Scissors, Around the World With Auntie Mame, Brunalleschi's Dome (I must admit, the perks of being an art history guy is my accumulated library), Giovanni's Room, Little Me, Howard's End, Me Talk Pretty Someday (all David Sedaris), Bonfire of The Vanities, Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, A Boy's Own Story (all Edmund White), The Berlin Stories, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs Basil E. Frankenweiler, The Making of the African Queen (or How I went to Africa with Bogart, Bacall and Huston and almost lost my mind), One Hundred Years of Solitude, A Suitable Boy, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Wuthering Heights, Dorian Grey, so very, very many...and I'm always adding more! I am always open to new suggestions so do feel free to reccomend!

Heroes:

Michelangelo! Caravaggio! John Irving Oscar Wilde! Edmund White! David Sedaris! If you can't tell who this guy is...ya'should go back to friggin' Middle School!

My Blog

1907 May Have Been...More Liberal?

Okay...I have always been a fan of Theodore Roosevelt, and his esteemed cousin who carried this (once) great nation through WWII. But I just stumbled across a quote on someone's page (sorry stephen) ...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 09:34:00 PST

Reasonable In-Home Assistant....

...available!As you know all...I HATE, LOATHE and despise 9-5s, where you are treated like an uneducated piece of chatel! Therefore I am back to doing what I did in NYC to keep myself fed and...imbib...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:46:00 PST

Follow up to: iPod Gave the Best Advice

Ahem. I don't know how many of you know this, but after I posted the blog referenced in the title I grew some balls! Well...what I mean to say is I threw my balls in my ex's face. Well...what I rea...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 01:51:00 PST

Bitch Needs a CHOKE Chain!

Mia bambina is quite spoiled, I know it! But when you have a single homo-guy for a Daddy, a spoiling Nana for a Doggie Mother and a CRAZY Sister for a Doggie-Auntie...clearly I knew and expected...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 05:05:00 PST

I tried and I tried to get over the Rainbow...

...and apparently I did! I gave into the Gay Gods and bought what I think is my first true installment of Must Have Gay Classics! I FINNALLY - and you can blame the 15 yr old queer nephew for th...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:34:00 PST

Bleeding AND Irritating Me Dry!

Ok...the one main acheivement I have established while in Philadelphia is that regardless of what position I have: temp, gym assistant, non-profit slave, unhappy rights assistant at Elsevier, personal...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 11:56:00 PST

A Shout Out To Gmail!!!

Now...we know I like to write but I am not exactly prolific on the level of Dickens or David Sedaris! Therefore imagine the chagrin and panic I felt this morning when I woke up at 9:30am (me, I ...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 08:45:00 PST

Its Christmastime in the City...

SEBASTIAN'S ANNUAL CHRISTMAS BASH My dears, my friends and my loves the time has come,To appear at my home & toast with Hot Buttered Rum! (Or have a toast with Hot Whiskey Toddies...I care not whi...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 07:16:00 PST

Stay Tuned...Save-the-Date!

*Christmas Party Teaser* While I know I have time to spare, and I know this will cause you to stare. Please book this date in your mind, don't forget and be quite unkind, On the...
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 11:17:00 PST

Toooooo Hottttt for Fashion!

People...in...the...PA...tri-state...area...I...am...actuall y...leaving...my...house...in...khaki...shorts...black...fli p...flops and... a... white... oversized... medium... undershirt... b/c... it......
Posted by Sebastian, Lord Fortineaux on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 01:31:00 PST