Lotan profile picture

Lotan

The chronicles of a horrible cunt

About Me

I'm 23 years old, almost old enough to know what the hell I am doing with my life. But not quite there yet. Still young enough to excuse my stupid mistakes as those of an unknowing child. I have an abundance of self-awareness that doesn't let me rest in peace. Yet enough serenity to not give a fuck. I make my mistakes knowingly, willingly and happily. Not too sure whether I'm learning anything, but you never know. I've had my heart shattered to pieces many a-times. I've broken numerous hearts myself. The game of love is a favorite, I guess. The one game I always win and forever lose, depends on your perspective. I'm in a constant battle between my two selves, which are of opposite natures,naturally. Always drawn to the dark side, forever clinging to that small light the is my soul. Geez, I'm being so dramatic here! Guess one shouldn't write about oneself just after a break up, tends to make one overly pretentious and annoying.I'm 23 years old and I'm a dog trainer. I love it and love the dogs. I also work for the Israeli cable company (don't ask me what I do there, it's too incredible). I also read a lot; books are my true passion. I also live for music; they fight books for the position of being my true passion.I'm now too tired for my own crap, so I'll probably revise all this later.
L Lovable
O Organic
T Tender
A Amorous
N Neglected
Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

My Interests

I'd like to meet:



adopt your own virtual pet!

Music:

Ani DiFranco, Fiona Apple, Joni Mitchell, Damien Rice, The Counting Crows (yes, cheez), Tori Amos, No Doubt, Foo Fighters, Aimee Mann, Joseph Arthur, Dave Mathews Band, Bright Eyes, Imogen Heap, KT tunstall, Rachel Yamagata, Faith No More, anything Mike Patton, Keren Ann, Alien Ant Farm, M.I.A, The White Stripes, The Strokes, Deus, Beck, Blind Melon, N.E.R.D, Sonic Youth, Kristin Hersh, Radiohead, Alanis Morissette, Tegan and Sara, Liz Phair, Heather Nova, Crass, Bikini Kill, Zero 7, Portishead, Beth Orton, Norah Jones, Ben Folds, ENOUGH!

Books:

Murakami, Salinger, Steve Ericson, David Mitchell, Banana Yoshimoto, Douglas Coupland, Jonathan Carrol, Neil Gaiman, Ali Smith, Kurt Vonnagut, Harry Potter, Sylvia Plath, Dorothy Parker, Fernando Pessoa, Herman Hesse, Aimee Bender, John Crawley.

My Blog

Another attempt at putting whatever's wrong with me into words

I have a body. I have a soul. I have a mind. They know nothing of each other, unaware of the others' existence. Maybe the are aware, but they're not nice to each other, and they're not one with each o...
Posted by Lotan on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 07:33:00 PST

random

I made a decision to write one page per day every day from now on. Since that decision, I haven't written a word. So I'll start now. I'm at work. It's a new job and it's nice. My boyfriend is at my ho...
Posted by Lotan on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 10:20:00 PST

Welcome Back, Lotan

What's new? Life is constantly changing, forever in motion, always on hand. Time, on the other hand, is tricky. Time can drag on slowly, mocking you with its aloofness. Time is a fast runner, too, sni...
Posted by Lotan on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 02:55:00 PST

That Time

It's that time again. I answer silly quizzes and search the results for insight about myself. I don't reply to emails, finding it hard to step out of myself and into others. I stay in bed most of the ...
Posted by Lotan on Thu, 04 May 2006 01:46:00 PST

A Mass on Happiness

I've decided that if I sit in front of the screen and just type, I can get a decent, over-due blog entry. Or maybe not. This is very frustrating; I want to write, I want to let my emotions surface, I ...
Posted by Lotan on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 01:52:00 PST

Me

Me - Paula Cole I am not the person who is singingI am the silent one insideI am not the one who laughs at peoples jokesI just pacify their egosI am not my house or my car or my songsThey are only jus...
Posted by Lotan on Fri, 14 Apr 2006 03:41:00 PST

The Way

Why is it that I can't write when I'm happy? I want to remember the good times, too. I want to remember being warm and held in strong and loving arms. I want to remember going for walks with Lizzy in ...
Posted by Lotan on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 04:29:00 PST

Not Sad

Life goes on, day by day, week by week. Time means nothing, as it slips between my fingers, I don't attempt to hold on. I'm reminded of wanting. What was it I set off to achieve? I wanted to change th...
Posted by Lotan on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 05:24:00 PST

Under Constraction

Another post that's not my own, but written about me by the same friend who wrote about the sleeping beauties. I think there's something very flattering and exciting about being someone's "she". Each...
Posted by Lotan on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 05:06:00 PST

Lather, rinse, repeat

"Lather, rinse, repeat" as a metaphor for my relationship habits.   Confessions:         I haven't been without a boyfriend for over 6 years.    ...
Posted by Lotan on Fri, 10 Mar 2006 11:48:00 PST